darla
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Dear Lulu,
I am so sorry for your loss & for the grieving process that you & your family are enduring. I truely understand, as I lost my husband Sept. 2, 2008 after only 7 weeks of being ill. We did not have to endure the first months as you did, as we didn’t even know he was sick nor had we ever heard of this terrible monster of a cancer. We did however go through the difficult ones as you & many others have. You said that you are all your children have now, but remember, you also have them to help & support you.
We had been together for over 45 years, having met as teenagers also. We did everything & shared everything in our lives. I also have feelings of anger, guilt and sadness as you do. I did write to Dr. Giles on this site & his answer has given me some comfort. Whenever I get really down I go back & reread it. You too may get some comfort from his answer.
Know that he is now in a better place and no longer suffering or in pain and that he will be in your heart and memories forever.
Come here as often as you need to for comfort & strength. We are all dealing with the same issues & know & understand how you are feeling.
I too pray that progess will be made in dealing with this disease in the near future. You and your family along with everyone else on this site who are dealing with this horrible disease in one way or another are all in my thoughts & prayers.
I will say what I have been told many times. Now you need to take care of you to gain strength to get you through the days, weeks & months ahead.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
Terri,
Thanks for the update and all the great news. I am glad that the resection was successful & that Suzanne is doing so well. Give her a hug for me and tell her there is a lot of love & encouragement coming her way. As always, she will be in my thoughts & prayers along with you & the rest of your family.
Darla
Tom,
I will be hoping for the best on the results of your CT Scan and future treatment plans. Please keep in touch if you have any questions or concerns as there is always someone here who can help. Good luck to you. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Jan,
That is interesting as my husband had also been on simvastatin. I think I have heard mention of a possible connection to this before. I also hope that in the near future there will be some answers that will help towards preventing & curing this horrible cancer or at least finding more effective treatments. Right now it seems like the answer is there are no answers!
Darla
Kelly,
Welcome. I am glad you have joined us. I am not sure about the colon cancer connection, but as Marion said, it has been brought up several times on the site.
Many of us on here have experienced the fast & devastating results of this horrific disease as you have and truely understand how you feel. This site has been so helpful & comforting to me. I too am hoping you will continue to be a part of our “family”. Everyone here is so kind & compassionate. Only those of us who have experienced the pain & suffering of this awful cancer can truely understand what it feels like.
Take Care,
DarlaPam,
I have been there & know how very hard this all is on all of you. You and your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. Hoping for the best. All you can do is try to hang in their & do the best you can. Take care of yourself too.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Sophie,
I am really sorry to hear that things are not going well. All I can add is that your will be in my thoughts & prayers too.
Lots of Love & Hugs,
Darla
Patsy,
Thank you for posting that beautiful poem. I am going to copy it out & read it when I am feeling down. I have also done that with the one that Lainy posted. It does help.
You are absolutely right when you say that others here feel your pain & sadness. It has been over 5 months since my husband passed on & the pain & sadness is still there. It still hurts & I miss him so much. This site has been a God send to me. The help & support, warmth & love of everyone here is so comforting & helps me to stay strong & go on. I am hoping that it will do that for you too.
Try to stay strong as your Dad would want you to do and “keep smiling through those tears”!
Love & Hugs,
Darla
Dear Valerie,
I can only say that what everyone else has already said is how I also feel. Know that you, Jeff & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
With Love & Hugs,
Darla
Hi Sue,
I hope things are going a bit better for you this week. It does seem as if we just start to think things are going a bit smoother & then something else happens. It is just one set back after another, isn’t it?
I know the feeling of being a bit restless. You just feel a little off or unsettled and don’t know exactly what or how to make it better. Or if you even want to.
Right now I am trying very hard to find some pleasure again in the antique business that we enjoyed so much before. Jim & I had sort of semi-retired and decided to get more into the antiques as we both enjoyed them so much. We enjoyed buying them, living with them & also sell them. Since he passed on I just don’t find the same pleasure & enjoyment in any of it that I did before. My son & daughter-in-law have shown a lot more interest in it the past few years & have been trying to help me find my way back. We went to an estate sale & also an antique mall on Sunday, which is something I hadn’t done since Jim passed on. Going with them made it a little easier. I don’t think I am ready to go on my own yet. I didn’t buy anything, but it was a nice day & even tho’ my thoughts were of Jim & that he wasn’t here with us, I did enjoy myself. Maybe there is hope for me yet!
Like you said, after all these years, all you really want is the life you had. It is so hard to accept this new life and having to go on alone. You are right. we are still in the learning stages. Hopefully it will get better in time, but I just don’t know.Take care Sue. I hope the rest of your week goes OK.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Carol,
You are so right. I too have found that most of our friends & relatives have no idea of what we are truely going through. Everyone here is or has been through what you are now dealing with & we do truely understand & sympathize. I have gotten so much help, support & comfort from all of the wonderful people on this site and am so grateful to have found it.
Keep in touch. I will be hoping for the best for you & your husband.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Stephanie,
I am so sorry that your Mom has lost her battle with this horrific disease. As you said, she is now at peace & no longer suffering from this terrible cancer. Remember that she will be in your hearts and memories forever. I know that right now that is not much comfort to you as this is all just so fresh and it hurts so much. I wrote to Dr. Giles about my feelings after my husband passed on & his answer has helped me to put things a a better perspective. It is still so very hard to deal with, but it does bring me some comfort & peace. It may also be of some help to you and your family. Just go under Patient Support and Ask Dr. Giles if you would like to read my question and his reply.
Again, you have my deepest sympathy. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts and prayers.
With Love & Hugs,
Darlaljg,
I don’t have any answers, but have also wondered lately, as you are doing now. My husband was 62 & so many are dying of cancer especially in that age group & as you said, also so many more younger people of late. I have also noticed that people that get to be in their 70’s often live to a very old age. Not sure what all of this means. Has something changed or were we just not as aware of it before it happened to us?
My children also wonder about heriditary issues. I don’t think having tests taken would be out of line. I think knowledge is also a very important thing. I try to educate anyone that will listen about this terrible disease.
I have begun to believe that we really have no control over life & no matter what we do or how we live our lives, when it is our time to pass on it will happen. Not always in our time frame or in the way we want or expect it to be.
I don’t know that I am being of much help in giving you any guidence or direction here, but am just expressing how I feel. There are so many questions & not enough answers, aren’t there? I am so sorry for the loss of both of your parents & wish you the best in the future.
Darla
Carolynle,
I really don’t have anything else to add to the good information you have all ready gotten, but want to welcome you to the site. You have found the best place to come for help & support when dealing with this horrible disease. We are all here to help & support each other through this terrible journey that none of us wanted or expected to have to be on. I will be hoping for the best for you & your husband. Take care. You & your husband are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Dear Magic and Charlotte,
(and everyone else out there suffering the pain of this horrible loss)
It is horrifying when a loved one deteriorates & things change so swiftly. My husband also went like that & it just blindsides you. You don’t have time to think or adjust to what is going on as it just keeps on changing & getting worse. There is no time to think, make decisions or prepare for what is happening & then before you even know what hit you it is over. I just felt so helpless & out of control and still do. The only thing I am grateful for is that Jim did not have to suffer for very long. Those of us left behind are now the ones grieving & suffering from our loss. All we can do now is try to go on & build a life for ourselves alone. It is so very hard, but I know we can all do it. We are survivors & with the strength, help & comfort of everyone on this site I know we can do it.
Everyone take care, you are all in my thoughts & prayers.
Hugs & Love,
Darla
