darla
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darla
SpectatorIrene,
My husband did not know he had CC until 1 week before he passed on at the age of 62. He only started to have symptoms about 2 months before that. We thought he was normal & healthy until then. Never had any real health problems. Unlike your situation, we did not have to make a decision. It was made for us. by the time we knew what we were fighting, it was so far advanced that the fight was almost over. At first I was angry, thinking that if it had been discovered sooner something could have been done. After learning more about this cancer & reading on this site, I have come to believe that what happen was for the best. He lived a full life until those last 2 months not even knowing what was coming. No one can make a decision for you, it is yours to make. If it were me, after what I have experienced & learned in the past 6 months, I would rather let well enough alone until symptoms present & make a decision as to what to do next at that time.
Every one is different and there are so many things to consider, but you seem to have done your homework and thought things out pretty well already. You appear to be a very self assured, strong person & I know that you will be able to make the decision that is right for you.
I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers and hope for the best out come for you. Remember that we are all here, just a key stroke away, to help & support you all that we can.
Darla
darla
SpectatorHi All,
I just read Pauline’s post & you know, she is so right. This life we are all now leading does seem so surreal. We are living the same life as before, but only now we are doing it alone. It is like nothing has changed, only we now are in it alone. It is like one minute they were here & now they are gone. There is some comfort in the familiarity of it all, but also a great sense of sadness & loss. It often times feels like I am living a dream (or maybe nightmare is a better word). If only that were so & we would all wake up to have our husbands & our former lives back.
Pauline, I am glad that work is keeping you busy. Keeping the shop open seems to help me. It is hard to have to be there alone, but so many people that knew Jim come in to see me & talk about him & that also helps & is a comfort to me.
Everyone try to keep busy the rest of the weekend. I too will be hoping it will be atleast OK for all of us. I will be thinking of all of you. Take care everyone.
Love,
Darladarla
SpectatorHeather,
I am so sorry for your loss. Lee was a fighter & too young to be taken by this horrible disease. Just know that he is now in a better place & no longer suffering. He will be in your hearts forever. You and Emilee are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorSuzanne,
Sorry I don’t have any answers for you, but I am sure others will. I just want you to know that I am happy for you that they are willing to chance it & “bend the rules”. I will be wishing you all the luck in the world. I am sending you tons of positive thoughts. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. Keep us updated as to how things are progressing when you can.
Lots of love & cyber hugs coming your way.
Darla
darla
SpectatorHi Kris,
Thanks for all the good news. Glad you are out & doing better. I don’t think drinking oil sounds too great either! Seems like it lost something in the translation, huh?
I am glad that your Dad is able to be there for you, along with the cats & Hans. We all love him & are so greatful that he was able to keep us updated on your progress.
Take care & keep fighting. Someone has to win. Why not you?
Love & Hugs,
Darla
darla
SpectatorAmy,
You go for it girl! We will all be waiting for good news.
Darla
darla
SpectatorTeresa,
It hasn’t even been two weeks since she passed on & you have every reason to cry & feel as you do. My husband has been gone for over 5 months and it hurts just us much as it did the day he passed on. Everyone keeps telling me that the first year is the hardest and that it will get better with time. I don’t think it will ever get better either. I think we just have to learn to live with the pain & emptiness we feel inside and try to go on one day at a time. I don’t think we can ever forget what we have lost. I am hoping that in time I will be able to take comfort in all of the good memories of our life together. Hopefully you will be able to do that too.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Charlene,
I am so sorry for all the pain & suffering that you are experiencing. I really don’t have any answers, but I do know how much you are hurting and I will try to tell you how I feel & what I am doing.
My husband Jim passed away on Sept. 2nd after having been sick for only 7 weeks. I was in total shock and disbelieve for many weeks after and have gradually been trying to go back to doing normal every day things.
I have to admit that I still do not sleep through the night. I don’t have nightmares, but I don’t really dream much about Jim although I want to and when I wake up I can’t really recall my dreams. I don’t know how long John was sick or what you all went though, but I do know that this is not easy, no matter what the situation. I do think of him all the time, but I seem to be able to function on the surface even though I am hurting inside.
I really don’t think we can ever go back to a normal life. That life is over for us now. All we can do is try to go on as best we can.
Jim & I ran a business together, so I continue to do so. Some days it is familiar & comforting and others it is almost impossible to carry on without him and I would just like to walk away from it all. Doing it alone is just not fun any more. We really enjoyed doing everything together and now I take no really happiness from anything I do. It is also very hard for me to concentrate most of the time, so I know why it is hard for you to go to work.
I too am very lonely & tired all the time. Most days I would rather just stay in bed & do nothing, just thinking about Jim, staring at pictures of him & thinking about all we had & now have lost. I do know that Jim would not want that as I am sure John would not want this for you either. That helps me to push myself to go on.
I feel like I would much rather just be alone and not be around others at all, but I try to do things & talk to people when I can. There are only a few people that I can talk with honestly & feel comfortable with. Most everyone else does not understand what I am going through. I think being able to talk about Jim & express how I am feeling does help me.
I am not sure about the meds as I did not take any other than tylenol now and then & an occassional glass of wine before bed. Is it possible that the meds you are taking are not right for you?
I have not felt a need to seek counseling or a grief therapy group so far, but that might also be a consideration if you have no one else you feel comfortable talking to and sharing your feelings with. As I said, I do have a few good people that I can talk things through with along with several women on this site who are going through the same things that we are. That all seems to help me a lot. Especially the ones here, as they are all going through exactly what we are. Their husbands have all passed away within the past 6 months from this horrible disease & they are all dealing with the same issues that we are.
Charlene, I don’t know if any of this will be of any help to you, but just know that you are not alone. Many of us share your feelings of grief. We are all going through this together. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you can some how find the answers you need to start to turn all of this around. If you want, please feel free to email me by clicking on email on the left side of the page.
Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorHans,
I also want to thank you for taking the time to let us all know what is going on. It is good to hear that she is able to eat a little & is also able to get up & around some. I am sure it is comforting to her to have you there by her side. It is great that you are able to do that & be there for her. As Lisa already said, let her know she is in all of our thoughts & prayers. We are all hoping for the best for both of you.
Try to take care of yourself too Hans so that you can be strong for Kris.
Love & Cyber Hugs for both of you,
Darladarla
SpectatorHi Again,
Truckee intrigued me so I looked it up. It appears to be a bit north west of Tahoe. That is beautiful country up there. What a wonderful place for Sophie to be able to spend a few weeks. Thanks again for sharing this blessed event with us. Once again, congratulations to all & a big welcome to little Anna.
Love & Best Wishes,
Darladarla
SpectatorDear Teresa,
Don’t be a stranger. Keep coming back. I didn’t find this site until a few days after my husband passed on & I can’t tell you how much comfort & support I have gotten from everyone here. No one can know what we have & are going through except those of us who have lived it. How much you loved your sister did come through & I know that she knows that too.
Be good to yourself now & take care of yourself & your lovely family. Also know that you have “family” here too, to come to when you are feeling down. I also find that helping others new to the site helps me too.
Love,
Darladarla
SpectatorRant all you want. You have every reason to and we are hear to listen. I hope things get sorted out & start going more smoothly for your Dad (or atleast as good as it can get when dealing with CC!)
Take care & let us know how things are going. I will be hoping for the best.
Darla
darla
SpectatorHi Jeff,
I hesitate to compare our situation to yours as it was so different, however, the fentanyl patch was used to help control Jim’s pain the last few days and it seemed to be very helpful to him. Hoping they have found what will work for you. Once again, many thoughts & prayers coming your way. Hang in there.
Much love & hugs for you & your family.
Darla
darla
SpectatorHi Hollie,
Congratulations to all of you! She sounds adorable & I am so glad that “Grandma”, your Aunt Sophie was able to meet her. I think you can all feel very blessed right now. My best to all of you now & in the future.
Love,
Darladarla
SpectatorTeresa,
I am sorry for your loss. I know it is sad, but as you said, she is now at peace & no longer suffering from this terrible disease.. Just remember that she will always be close by & forever in your heart.
It was wonderful that you could be there for her to help easy her passing. I know how hard it is to watch a loved one pass away from CC. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
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