darla

Hi All,

I just read Pauline’s post & you know, she is so right. This life we are all now leading does seem so surreal. We are living the same life as before, but only now we are doing it alone. It is like nothing has changed, only we now are in it alone. It is like one minute they were here & now they are gone. There is some comfort in the familiarity of it all, but also a great sense of sadness & loss. It often times feels like I am living a dream (or maybe nightmare is a better word). If only that were so & we would all wake up to have our husbands & our former lives back.

Pauline, I am glad that work is keeping you busy. Keeping the shop open seems to help me. It is hard to have to be there alone, but so many people that knew Jim come in to see me & talk about him & that also helps & is a comfort to me.

Everyone try to keep busy the rest of the weekend. I too will be hoping it will be atleast OK for all of us. I will be thinking of all of you. Take care everyone.

Love,
Darla

Suzanne,

Sorry I don’t have any answers for you, but I am sure others will. I just want you to know that I am happy for you that they are willing to chance it & “bend the rules”. I will be wishing you all the luck in the world. I am sending you tons of positive thoughts. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. Keep us updated as to how things are progressing when you can.

Lots of love & cyber hugs coming your way.

Darla

Amy,

You go for it girl! We will all be waiting for good news.

Darla

Dear Charlene,

I am so sorry for all the pain & suffering that you are experiencing. I really don’t have any answers, but I do know how much you are hurting and I will try to tell you how I feel & what I am doing.

My husband Jim passed away on Sept. 2nd after having been sick for only 7 weeks. I was in total shock and disbelieve for many weeks after and have gradually been trying to go back to doing normal every day things.

I have to admit that I still do not sleep through the night. I don’t have nightmares, but I don’t really dream much about Jim although I want to and when I wake up I can’t really recall my dreams. I don’t know how long John was sick or what you all went though, but I do know that this is not easy, no matter what the situation. I do think of him all the time, but I seem to be able to function on the surface even though I am hurting inside.

I really don’t think we can ever go back to a normal life. That life is over for us now. All we can do is try to go on as best we can.

Jim & I ran a business together, so I continue to do so. Some days it is familiar & comforting and others it is almost impossible to carry on without him and I would just like to walk away from it all. Doing it alone is just not fun any more. We really enjoyed doing everything together and now I take no really happiness from anything I do. It is also very hard for me to concentrate most of the time, so I know why it is hard for you to go to work.

I too am very lonely & tired all the time. Most days I would rather just stay in bed & do nothing, just thinking about Jim, staring at pictures of him & thinking about all we had & now have lost. I do know that Jim would not want that as I am sure John would not want this for you either. That helps me to push myself to go on.

I feel like I would much rather just be alone and not be around others at all, but I try to do things & talk to people when I can. There are only a few people that I can talk with honestly & feel comfortable with. Most everyone else does not understand what I am going through. I think being able to talk about Jim & express how I am feeling does help me.

I am not sure about the meds as I did not take any other than tylenol now and then & an occassional glass of wine before bed. Is it possible that the meds you are taking are not right for you?

I have not felt a need to seek counseling or a grief therapy group so far, but that might also be a consideration if you have no one else you feel comfortable talking to and sharing your feelings with. As I said, I do have a few good people that I can talk things through with along with several women on this site who are going through the same things that we are. That all seems to help me a lot. Especially the ones here, as they are all going through exactly what we are. Their husbands have all passed away within the past 6 months from this horrible disease & they are all dealing with the same issues that we are.

Charlene, I don’t know if any of this will be of any help to you, but just know that you are not alone. Many of us share your feelings of grief. We are all going through this together. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you can some how find the answers you need to start to turn all of this around. If you want, please feel free to email me by clicking on email on the left side of the page.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Hi Again,

Truckee intrigued me so I looked it up. It appears to be a bit north west of Tahoe. That is beautiful country up there. What a wonderful place for Sophie to be able to spend a few weeks. Thanks again for sharing this blessed event with us. Once again, congratulations to all & a big welcome to little Anna.

Love & Best Wishes,
Darla

Rant all you want. You have every reason to and we are hear to listen. I hope things get sorted out & start going more smoothly for your Dad (or atleast as good as it can get when dealing with CC!) Take care & let us know how things are going. I will be hoping for the best.

Darla

Hi Hollie,

Congratulations to all of you! She sounds adorable & I am so glad that “Grandma”, your Aunt Sophie was able to meet her. I think you can all feel very blessed right now. My best to all of you now & in the future.

Love,
Darla