darla
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Patty,
We are all already dealing with so much right now and then to have try to deal with people who are so insensitive just adds to the burden, doesn’t it? Life is just so unfair, but I am hoping that this move will work out & be beneficial to you and will also be helpful for your Mom & brother. You deserve a break here. Keep in touch & let us know how things are going.
Pauline, Joyce & Sue. I can’t agree with you enough that our little group has been the best thing to happen to all of us. We are all dealing with these things & we all are so supportive & understanding of each other. No matter what else happens, we know we have each other to lean on. Right now all of you & the rest of the wonderful people on this site are what gives me the strength to go on. As you said Pauline, it lets us know that we are not alone with these thoughts & feelings.
Everyone take care. I hope you all can have a relatively nice weekend, or at least the best you can for now. We haven’t gotten much more snow here, but it is going to be frigid cold again, so I probably won’t be getting out much, so I will really have to work at trying to keep myself busy this weekend.
Love & Hugs To All,
Darla
Suzanne,
What wonderful news. Positive vibes & prayers coming your way. Keep us informed as things progress.
Darla
Jeff,
You have been such an inspiration to so many. I will be hoping for the best for you. Stay strong & know that my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
Darla
Thanks Patsy,
I have to agree. Losing Jim was the hardest thing that I have ever experienced, also. Thank you so much for your kind words of support & encouragement. It is comforting to know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I, like you do not think that is possible right now, but hearing this from someone who has been there does help. I do like your quote “The only way through is through”. So I will continue to go through. I do try to take care of myself & be good to myself, as I know it is important, but some days it is harder to do than others.
I will be thinking of you & your friend and hoping for all the best for you too.
Darla
Kris,
I will just add my best wishes to everyone else’s. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. Think positive thoughts & stay strong. You have all of us behind you.
Darla
Rob,
This is good news. I agree with Lainy. You are doing a good job by not letting the cancer control you. Keep up the good work. You are a great advocate for your Father. As you already know CC is so unpredictable, but you seem to be strong enough and knowledgable enough to deal with things as the come at you and when you need help & support, we are all here for you & your family. Do keep us posted. My best wishes to you and yours.
Darla
Patsy,
Unfortunately I only had that role for 7 weeks. My husband passed away on Sept. 2, 2008 from this horrible cancer. It has been over 4 1/2 months and I am still struggling, however, this site & everyone on it have been a great source of help & support. I have also found that helping others is also helping me. I am thankful that my husband did not suffer for very long, so for him that was a blessing. I like you would not trade what we had for anything in the world, I only wish we could have had more. I am still saying “why us”? I am hoping that if & when I get to 2 years I will be doing as well as you are. I will be thinking of you & your friend and as I said before, hoping for the best.
Darla
Hi Patti,
Don’t have much to add except to also welcome you aboard. You are truly a good friend. You will find the people here are some of the greatest in the world. Everyone is willing to share what they know and to be here for support. I will be hoping for the best for your friend.
Darla
Dear Sue,
I have felt and still do feel angry about the way other people perceive our lives. They have no idea what we are really feeling or going through, do they? Many seem to say & do truly hurtful things. I think people like that were never true friends to begin with. It seems as if you try to be strong in front of others & they critisize & if you do show your feelings and try to talk about it they think you should get over it. Unless they have been through what we are going through they have no idea. I think we just need to let all that go & not give them the power to affect us. That is easier said than done! I feel that no matter what they think, they should try to understand & respect what we are going through & that we each have to deal with it in our own way. If they can’t, then I guess they were not the true friends we thought they were.
It is comforting to know that we can talk to each other and that we all understand & know what we are all suffering right now. I do consider all of you my friends & “family”. As you said Sue, many of our relatives and friends just don’t understand or don’t know how to deal with any of this.
There is no right or wrong here. Grieving is a very private and personal thing and as I am learning, we have to do it in our own time & way. I am so glad that we can all come here to help & support each other during this time in our lives.
I will be thinking of you, Joyce & Pauline along with all the others on this site as we all try to work our way through another day.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi All,
Well it is my turn to check in. I don’t want to be redundant, so I will just say that as I read your post Pauline, everything that you expressed is also exactly how I am feeling and you are right. All we can do for now is try to keep busy. I think others are oblivious to our feelings as we appear to be doing OK and they think we should be adjusting to our new life by now. Boy are they wrong! It appears we are all going through a rough time of it right now. Eveyone keeps telling me it will get better with time. I just am not sure it every will. As Pauline said, it is a lonely world when you are alone.
Yes Joyce, I agree, the Sundays are tough & with all the cold, snow & long nights it makes it even tougher, doesn’t it?
I am hoping that we can all take a few steps forward this week & that we can eventually find ourselves & where we now fit in to this world.
Take care everyone. I will be thinking of all of you as we all try to work our way through all of this.
Love,
DarlaRob,
I also would like to welcome you to this site & to reassure you that you have found the right place to be when dealing with CC. All the people here are so helpful & supportive. I don’t have any answers for you as the situation we dealt with was so unlike your Dad’s, however, I am sure you will be getting more replies shortly. My personal opnion is that quality of life is more important than quantity, but as Lainy said, it is a personal decision that has to be made by the patient & family after getting all the infomation you possibly can. I wish all of you the best. Keep in touch. We are all here for you.
Darla
Dear Sue,
I am sorry that you are feeling so sad right now & hope that it will get better soon. It seems that we are all going through a similar grief process with all of it’s up & downs. Knowing that it is normal for us to feel like this sure doesn’t change the way we feel though, does it? As you said tho’ we can’t change anything & we can’t continue to beat ourselves up for something we had no control over. Sometimes easier said than done!
I don’t think there is any best way for this to happen. It is hard either way & ultimately the end result is the same. I do think you are correct that having to deal with this for 18 months was very hard on you, & you probably were well into the grieving process even before Ray passed on. I on the other hand only had 7 weeks of physical and emotional stress & then Jim was gone. I didn’t even know I would have to be grieving so soon. I thought I was going to be taking care of him, making things easier for him and then I had nothing. So, my grieving didn’t really start until a week or so before he passed on. Our situations were so different, yet so similar in so many ways. I do believe that for Jim, he was allowed to have a good life and not knowing until close to the end & only suffering for a short time was a whole lot easier for him and although the shock of losing him so quickly will be harder for me I also did not have to deal with the months of anxiety & stress that you did.
We will just have to let the grieving process take us where it will & try to learn how to go on as best we can. Having each other & every one else here to lean on sure does help to easy the pain tho’ doesn’t it?
I will be thinking of you & Pauline over in the UK and Joyce in New York and everyone else who is dealing with this terrible disease & what it has done to their lives.
Take care Sue. I will think of you on your cooking holiday. Wish we all could share it with you. As you said, maybe some day we will all be able to meet. Who knows.
Love,
DarlaKmavila,
That is good news. I’m hoping you will also be hearing something positive on medicaid soon. I will be thinking of you & your family & hoping for the best both with the surgery & medicaid.
Darla
Lisa,
I think if you can handle it financial, it is a great idea. We did not know that my husband had this horrible cancer until shortly before he passed away at 62, however, we did semi-retire back when we were about your age & decided to go places, see things & do what we enjoyed and I am so glad that we did, as who would have known that he would pass away by the time he reach “retirement age”! We no longer had children at home at that time, however, so that did make it a bit easier. At the time we also had very good health insurance, however, after a few years we could no longer afford the high premiums etc. & as we were both healthy (we thought) we dropped it. As we soon found out, it is hard to get insurance as you get older at any price! Fortunately (& also unfortunately) my husband was in the Navy and in Viet Nam, so he could go through the VA, which he did. I still do not have health insurance & have 5 years until I can get medicare if it still exists!
Anyway, as I said, after checking into disability & with your accountant, if you possibly can do it, I highly suggest that you do so you can concentrate on taking care of yourself & enjoy life for as long as you are given. As we all know, life and CC are so unpredictable. I do realize that you have your 3 children to consider in this decision also, however, I think you are right in thinking that the older ones could be asked to help out. I am sure that under the circumstances they would understand this too.
I wish you and your family the best in what ever you decide to do. Keep posting & let us know how things are working out.
Darla
