darla

Hi Stephanie,

Welcome to the site. I am so glad you have found it. Everyone here is so helpful, supportive & comforting. You have found the best place to be as you travel this road you don’t want to be on. The people here are great and will be here for you when you need them for knowledge, support & comfort.

You are right on track to spend as much time with your Mom as you can & to let her know that you are there for her.

I will be thinking of you & your Mom & hoping for the best.

Darla

Hi All,

Marion, thanks for your encouragement. It is hard to think that far ahead, but I am hopeful that I will be doing better then than I am now. Both Pauline & I had read Betty’s question & Dr. Giles answer and that too has given us some hope & insight. After discussing it with Pauline, that is what encouraged me to pose my questions to him, as I am sure that there are others who are feeling like we are & the answer I got was very helpful to us & hopefully will also be of help to others.

Sue & Joyce, I know how hard it is as each month goes by. Sometimes it feels like it has been forever & others it is as if it just happened. I give both of you credit for looking for ways to keep busy & move on. You both seem to have a good attitude. I am having a harder time with that. A lot of it is because our business was also our pleasure & it pretty much consumed a big part of our lives. As I both live & work here, it is easy to just stay in my comfort zone & not venture out into new areas, but it is also a constant reminder of what I have lost. I do try to get out now & again, but it is not the same as doing something totally different with your life. I guess I have to start looking at maybe trying to make just a small change, to try something new. Of course, the weather here has been just terrible, tons of snow & now frigid cold, and that doesn’t help either.

I seem to be more like you Pauline, in that I would rather not be bothered & just be left alone, but I think you are right, that will only make things even more depressing. We will just have to push ourselves & force ourselves to get out I do something! I hope that you start feeling better soon, as I am sure that will help, too.

It is hard to adjust to life as a person alone. I am so used to being part of a couple that I don’t quite know where I fit in any more. Hopefully time will help to work all of this out & put it all in some sort of perspective. I sure hope so.

Joyce, I also am an avid reader, but have had a hard time consentrating long enough to absorb much of anything. My mind keeps wandering. I do think it is getting a slight bit better tho’. I too hope that keeps improving with time.

Sue, Enjoy your cooking holiday. You are more adventurous than me!

I will be hoping for better days ahead for all of us.

Hugs & Love To All,
Darla

Joyce,

It is good that we can come here & vent, isn’t it? I also do most of my crying in private, although I do still tear up now & again in public. You are right, the reality of all this is that we are truely alone.

I was really feeling down this morning & logged on to see that Barbara had posted a beautiful poem “A Letter From Heaven”. Although it did make me cry, it also made me feel better. It is posted by Barbara6193 under Grief Management

Good Morning All,

Well, here it is another Sunday. I plan to spend a good part of it with my daughter-in-law, so that will be nice. I always enjoy the time I spend with her.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am just not sure I will ever be able to adjust to being alone. I was part of a couple for such a big part of my life.

The weather here has settled down a bit for the moment, but now we are expecting bitter cold! It is so depressing. I also got the bill for the plowing for December. $240 YIKES! We did get a ton of snow. They had to plow 12 times! It is worth it though, as atleast I know it is taken care of & I can get out if I need to.

I have actually been more weepy than usual. Little things just set me off. Last night I went with friends to a nice relaxing place for dinner that Jim & I had always talked about trying & never had the chance. That alone made me sad, however, they had a piano player who we got to talking to & she told us that she was a widow who eventually remarried, blended family etc. & that just made me tear up. The word “widow” still gets to me. I don’t want to be that! The couple I was with have been together over 25 years & they were discussing how remarkable that was for two people to stay together for that length of time & all I could think of was that we were together 45 years & now we are apart by no choice of our own! How unfair is that! It seems like everyone out there are couples and it just seems to reinforce how alone we are.

I still haven’t tried to seek out a support group or counseling. I’m just not sure if that is for me, but who knows, maybe someday. Joyce, let us know how it is going with your group & if you feel it is helping you. I also know how hard it is to go places & be with people that you did things together with before. It is just not the same, is it?

Well, I hope you all had a nice evening & can keep busy today. I will be thinking of all of you.

Love,
Darla

Suzanne,

When I tried to link to it I got a message stating I had to reset my browser to accept cookies. Maybe that is the problem you are having also.

Darla

Glad things are looking a bit more positive for your Mother-In-Law. I think you are right, you may still want to write those letters. Can’t hurt & it might help. Who knows. I am hoping that the surgery goes well. Keep us posted as to her progress.

Darla

I have not personally had experience with this, but have heard from others that you need a certain amount of credits to qualify for the disability part. From what I understand, I hope I don’t ever need it as I wouldn’t qualify either! As I am 60, I have 5 years to go before I qualify for medicare. For what it is worth! I am hoping to stay healthy until then!