darla
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Hi Jan,
Glad you found this site. There are a lot of good people here & all are willing to give you all the help & support you want or need. This terrible disease affects not only the person who has had the bad luck of being stricken with it but also the family caregivers who have to be strong while watching what it is doing to their loved one. You & your father are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Alice,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly where you are at as my husband Jim passed away on Sept 2nd. He was only sick for 7 weeks & was positively diagnoised only 1 week before he passed away. I am not sure which is worse, not knowing & losing him so quickly or knowing & having to watch the progression that much longer. I wish for what you had as I felt I was denied the extra time with him. So much was left unsaid & undone as we really had no idea how bad this was & how little time we had. Be glad for the time you had & remember all the good memories. Know that he is OK & is no longer in pain. I am hanging on to the memories & the fact that I know he will be in my heart forever. You are right, both John & Jim would want us to be strong & go on, but it really is hard. With all of the help & support here we can do this and we can also help & support others as they come along.
God Bless You. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Rank,
I agree with everything that has been said. I too was where you are now less than 1 month ago. One interesting note. My husband Jim did the same thing you mentioned the last time he was at home, falling across the bed sideways too weak to move without help. Everyone is different & this terrible cancer effects them all in different ways. Just be there for your Dad, Make sure he is comfortable & is not in pain. That is all you can do for him now. I spent the last week at the hospital with Jim & he died with his family by his side. One of our sons was holding his hand & looking into his eyes as he passed. He knew how much he was loved & that we were there for him. We all miss him so much, but know that he is in a better place & no longer suffering or in pain. He will be in our hearts forever. My thoughts & prayers are with your & your Dad. Stay strong.
Darla
Marion,
Thanks for the information. I feel my husbands CC is service related & am going to claim this with the VA. Hopefully this information will be helpful.
Darla
Pauline,
It is incredible how closely our lives seem to imitate each others. I am feeling & thinking & doing almost exactly what you are describing about yourself. Jim & I seem to have gone through almost the same experience in the end that you & Anthony did. Many people never have what you & I shared with our husbands. I know I should be glad for all the years & fond memories we shared, but I guess we never thought it would end. I’m selfish. I wanted more. I am thinking about you also & will keep in touch. Hopefully we can help each other to be strong through this most traumatic time in both our lives. Take care of yourself, as that is all we can do now. We did our best for Anthony & Jim & I am sure that they would now want us to do our best to take care of ourselves. (Easy to say & hard to do!) It is just so comforting to me to know that everything I am feeling is normal under these circumstances as it is also what you are feeling. Will the pain ever lessen? Again, Try to be strong as I will also. Keep in touch.
Darla
Pauline,
I am glad you went to Tuscany. It sounds like it was a good thing for you to do. I know what you mean about all the memories, but I like you still relive the last few days & wonder if things could have been said & done differently. It has now been 3 1/2 weeks & it is still very hard, some days it seems like it has been forever & others like it was yesterday. I do try to remember all the good times & hope to be strong enough to do what you did & revisit some of the places we spent time together in happier healthier days some day. I’m sure it was rather bittersweet, feeling closer to him in some ways & missing him so much at the same time. I know exactly how you are feeling. It is the little things (like picking up the car) that really get to you. Everyone says things will get better with time. Right now that is hard to imagine. I just keep remembering what my daughter-in-law said shortly after Jim passed. He is no longer here, but he will be in your heart forever. I try to hold on to that. Pauline, please keep in touch maybe together we can be stronger. My thoughts & prayers are with you.
Darla
Welcome,
You are in the right place. There is so much support & knowledge here. This is a place no one wants to have to come to but that everyone is glad that they are here. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Hi Suzanne,
I am no expert on this, but have been learning a lot since my husband Jim passed away 9-2-08 at the age of 62. He didn’t have any symptoms until it was too late. It sounds like yours has been found earlier. In the beginning he was just fatigued & had some leg pain. About the middle of July he had pain in the lower right flank which they thought was a kidney obstruction & they put in a stent which later was failing. He then kept developing blood clots even while on the blood thinners. By this time other symptoms started to develop. In the end he had them all. A lot of the tests (CAT MRI, Ultra Sound etc.) did not show much. He was diagnoised 1 week before he passed away after a liver biopsy & a PET Scan. It was in 95% of his liver & he was by then so thin & weak that treatment was not an option. You are fortunate that you seem to have been diagnoised early enough that there are treatment options available to you. Confusion & frustration are just the nature of this disease. It is a silent, sneaky cancer. If your doctors have not yet offered it, I would suggest to them you want a PET Scan as that seemed to be the one test that confirmed everything in our situation. Good Luck to you. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Jeff,
Glad to hear the radiation is working. As for the pain, the patch worked for my husband when the other pain meds weren’t enough.
Lisa,
My husband had hallucinations from the morphine too.
Darla
Lainy,
It is encouraging to hear good news like this. Good luck to you & Teddy. You will both be in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Gavin,
Welcome & good luck to you & your family on this journey that no one asks to go on. Your post was very informative. Any information and experiences are helpful to others on this site. I wish I had found it before my husband passed away as I would have known more what to expect, however, I am glad I found it as I have gotten so much help & support from everyone here. Just knowing I am not alone & that others are out there that truly understand helps. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
Good Job Lisa!
I know just how you feel. Here they are promoting “Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month” I realize that it is very important to the women who have it or have had it, but again, it is a lot more common & cureable than CC. I too feel that people need to become more aware of this terrible incurable cancer that we all have had to or are now dealing with. It is hard to feel good about all the attention given to these other cancers when so very little is know about CC. This was one way to get some attention. I too would be interested to see if you get a reply. I am telling everyone who will listen to me about everything that happened to us & everything I know about CC!!!!! What you did was great & you have every right to be “cranky”!
Darla
Charlene,
My thoughts & prayers are with you & John. Know that we are all here for you now & will also be here for you when John has moved on to a better place where there is no more pain. Just hold on to that & remember that he will be in your heart forever.
Darla
