Bondodd, a lot of your story sounds sadly familiar. My mother just went through all this and it won. Taking Gem/Cis is highly toxic for the kidneys. Keep an eye on kidney function, water retention, and urine output. Taking those chemo drugs, I would worry more about the kidneys than the tumor. Everyone handles chemo differently but in our case, kidney failure from chemo was the overwhelming problem that could not be overcome.
Good luck. Questions, just ask.