jan131982
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Just an update. My hubby is still not willing to ask for a second opinion. He’s getting weaker by the day. We met with the palliative care team on Fri to tweak his meds. They seem to want to push increasing the pain meds even though he says he doesn’t like the way they make him feel. He wants to only take them when the pain gets bad. Part of me wants to trust the doctors but I also see what the pain meds do to him, and I’m not going to force him to take them until he wants them. He’s had a bad weekend. Couldn’t keep anything down, even drinks, other than water.
I keep wondering if he should get a feeding tube. Am I wrong for even thinking about such a thing? Am I being selfish for wanting to put him through even more? I just don’t know what to think anymore. I look at him and at times he just seems weak and tired, other times, he looks like he’s getting closer to the end. I don’t want him to suffer needlessly, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to give up either. I worry about what to bring up, to him, because I don’t want to upset him. He’s very fragile right now and I think he’s trying so hard to be strong for us.
Thank you all for your responses. I desperately want a second opinion, but my husband seems to think that every doctor is going to come to the same conclusion. He got upset when I suggested it, as though I’m trying to give him false hope. I feel like our biggest mistake was just trusting the doctors blindly, without question. I’m not trying to imply that the doctors did anything wrong, but we didn’t ask enough questions throughout the whole process, and were blindsided when the oncologist said there was no hope.
He has an episode everyday, (usually only once) with nausea, that seems to hit, when he first gets up from a prone position. I’ve tried to get him to take the ondansetron before he gets out of bed, to see if that will prevent it, but he gets stubborn and thinks he can tough it out. We don’t know if the nausea is coming from the cancer in the abdomen, or possibly from the fluid build up in his belly. He’s been taking two drugs for the fluid, which help but don’t eliminate enough of the fluid to make the belly go down.
I’m going to try to talk to him again about the second opinion and let you know what happens.
