jmoneypenny

My mother was also given a prescription for Haldol, just in case. And it turns out we needed it once. Hospice gives the Haldol to everyone, I suppose, because there might be moments of confusion/anxiety/agitation toward the end. I don’t know if it’s high ammonia or the tumors themselves or something else. But 2 nights before she died, my mother became very agitated and insisted that she could get up and walk around. When we tried to stop her, she was scared, confused and angry. I couldn’t stand to see her that way so I gave her the Haldol and it really helped. That was the only episode.
I hope you don’t need to use it, but it’s good to have.
Much luck to you,
Joyce M

Hey Kris, that’s great news! I knew things would start looking up – you’re just too important to this board with your uplifting posts. Glad you gave the blood clots/tumors the old TKO. Keep it coming!
Joyce M

Dear Pam,
I have been down that road, too, and I know how your heart must be breaking. I wish I could make things better for you. Your mom is in my thoughts and prayers.
Joyce M

Dear Sarah,
I, too, lost my best friend, my mom. And she was taken so quickly, just like yours. We were treated pretty badly by the medical establishment, also. I understand the horrible pain you feel, the surreal feeling. My mom was 64, which is young, but yours was even younger — I am so very very sorry for your loss. I feel cheated and I feel a huge sense of injustice — I always say “it’s not fair, it’s not fair,” and I just can’t get past that. I don’t care how immature and irrational I sound: I just want my mommy back, I just wake up every day in this living nightmare and fool myself into thinking she’ll be coming back. I know your pain, as much as anyone can really know something so personal and individual. No one can replace a mother – no one. Please feel free to vent your grief here, if it helps you — it has certainly helped me to have an outlet when no one else really seems to care.

Many hugs and hopes of comfort to you and your family,

Joyce M

PS – Lainy, that poem made me cry, it was so beautiful! Similar to what was on my mother’s funeral card.

Dear Marc,
My heartfelt sympathy on losing your precious Mum. We’re all here for you, and you can lean on us if you need to vent in the heartbreaking days ahead. As you said, at least your mum is at peace. I hope you can find some of that peace for yourself.
Joyce M

Congratulations, Tess! I know it’s trite, but the whole “circle of life” thing is just so true. I’m sure your dad is happy and proud, wherever he may be. And your child may never know Grandpa personally, but you will definitely make Grandpa come to life again with your stories and memories.
Joyce M

Dear hopeandgrace,

There is no one in this world who can replace a mother. I know how you feel, especially with my own birthday coming up. I used to joke that my mother should get presents on my birthday, since she’s the one who did all the hard work.

And I’ve had problem with breathing, also. It’s part of intense pain, I suppose. As Patty said, I often feel like I’m in an alternate reality, and I think it’s my coping mechanism: even after 2 years, 2 months, 4 days, I refuse to believe she’s gone. I wait for the call, the visit, the email. I know it won’t come, but it helps me get through the day to pretend to be delusional. Funny how we develop strange strategies to live through the pain.

Your mother is always with you, whether you want it or not. I told my own daughter that I would always be with her, no matter what, and I believe it. I would cross the barrier of death for my daughter, and I know my mother would do the same for me. Your best friend is always there for you, though you may not be able to talk to her or touch her. I tell my daughter that all the love my mother felt for us can never die: it is around us all the time, protecting us (this helps when she has nightmares and I just think it’s a nice thought).

All your life, you will feel the loss of your mother. And all your life, you will feel her love and her encouragement and her beautiful memories. One day, hopefully, the good will overshadow the bad. I hope you find some peace and comfort in this horrible time of new grief. Your mother was lucky to have such a daughter.
Joyce M