kate-g
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Hope you rested up well Jeff, and I hope your blood platelets have mutiplied and are in good fighting form! Hang in there love, keep up the humour! Thinking of you!
Hi Susan,
So sorry to hear what’s going on for you.
I don’t know if you have similar stuff in US, but here you can get Macmillan Cancer nurses to help out at home. Is there something similar for you I wonder?
Hospice seems such a big decision to make, but having been there myself, it was such a relief, because I know I couldn’t have given my Mum the level of care that was available there. I spent a lot of time there in her final week (she was only in there 10 days before she died), and the practical stuff you speak of (like going to the toilet) was quite hard as she too was weak, but I could always call for help if I needed it, which was such a blessing.
It is so hard to know what to do. I really wanted my Mum to be at home here with me and my family, but realistically, she needed more care than I could give.
Have you spoken to your Mum about it? How does she feel about going into a hospice?
I would say that a visiting nurse would be a good place to start, because they will be able to assess her needs and advise you.
Oh love, sorry you are having a hard time, and hope that you will be able to get some help, as it is a lot to be doing alone. It seems like a hard decision to make, because no doubt you really feel that you would like to do all you can for as long as possible. But extra help will give you a bit of a break, which I think you will really appreciate. I remember just feeling so grateful that the burden was not all on my shoulders. It’s hard to pass on some of the burden, as it make you feel like you aren’t “doing enough”, but as a carer, you need to have break from it all sometimes, even if it’s just an hour, as it makes it so much easier to do what you are able to do/want to do, witthout so much pressure. Hope that makes sense.
Take care, and look after yourself.
Much love XHello everyone, Betty, Patrice, Charlene Teresa and Joyce,
Gosh, what a lot of different replies!
Charlene, it is still so fresh for you. It took me several months to recover from the horrible bits. I just kept reminding myself that in the bigger picture of Mum’s life, the suffering at the end was a small blip compared to all that had gone before. It is so so painful to watch someone you love suffer. I hope that time will give you the healing you need.
Teresa, I cannot imagine for a moment how it feels to lose a child, oh my, I love my kids so much (like we all do) and the thought of out living them is one of the few things that scares me in life. To now be losing your husband TOO. Oh love, what can I say, I can only send you love and strength. My heart goes out to you.
Thanks for enjoying my Mum Patrice! I also know what it is to cry reading other people’s stories.
Betty, life must be strange, losing your man, and now your job. Maybe you can find some voluntary work or something? I hereby award you the official Yard of the Month cup!!
And lovely Joyce, I know how hard losing your Mum hit you, and hope that life is slowly getting better for you! If I ever ever come to New York again in my life I will be looking you up for sure!
This site is another place that always reminds me of the kindness of strangers! With conditions like CC, status/country/nationality etc are rendered unimportant, and we are reminded that we are just people, families, helping to support eachother. Out of the ugliness of it all there is beauty too.
Much love to you all, those who have added to this thread, and all who come here.Her name was Prue Corlett, Patrice! She wrote a book about her travels called These Vagabond Shoes! Still available on Amazon, but horribly expensive for some reason, considering it was never a best seller! Here are links to photos of her.
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a279/Mateykate/e3.jpg
This one is of me and Mum shortly after she came out of hospital having had her resection in July 2007http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a279/Mateykate/e7.jpg
This one is of Mum at her caravan on the Greek Island of Kefalloniahttp://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a279/Mateykate/?action=view¤t=MVI_2814.flv
This is the video that shows Mum at her eccentric best, with her animals! Never fails to make me smile!Thanks for your kind words Jeff, and Patrice.
Jeff, Joyce and I have always vied to have the longest post ever on this site!! I’m pretty sure you are in the runner up bracket!!
You keep smiling too Jeff, and keep on enjoying your life!Well, a year has passed, officially tomorrow in fact, but a year ago last Friday night was when Mum finally left us.
On Friday I got out the letters she sent me over the years from her travels. I sat up till 3 am putting them in date order, and filing them! Then yesterday, it was raining, so I took my kids to town to a play centre, and whilst they were off frolicking, I sat down with a flask of tea, and began reading them! What a treat! I’m not even half way through, but it is so nice to read back on the last years of her life. She left UK in 1989, and wrote to me regularly from wherever she was (mostly Greece/Italy). What a woman! What an inspiration! Needless to say I still miss her, but I don’t feel so bad now. My big black ball of sadness that I previously described is now a small pink smooth one, and no longer lodged in my stomach, it is now firmly planted in my heart! I just feel very very lucky that she was on this earth as long as she was. NOT LONG ENOUGH mind, but I am thankful for knowing her as long as I did.
I have sent her picture through to Faces of CC today, so hope she will appear there in the next few weeks.
Much love to you all. I don’t visit here so often now, but I will always be grateful for all the support I was given from everyone, and most grateful that I found this site when I needed it, because I feel that with all that went on, it would have been so much less easy to bear without your support.
Lots and lots of love to you all
Kate xOh Liz, what a lovely read, even though it is sad. Just wanted to say hello, and thank you for coming here and sharing with us all. Your Mom sounds like she was a lovely lady. I’m glad you stuck by her advice and followed through with college. Well done! I am 43, my Mum died this time last year. Your post made me realize how lucky I was to have her around for such a large part of my life, it really struck me how young you are to have to deal with such a loss, the feeling of wishing your Mom could see how you’ve done, and all the things you won’t be able to share with her. I hope for you that the pain of your loss will diminish in time, and I am sending you lots of love all the way from UK!
Much love, KateHey Lisa,
SO so sorry to hear your news. Haven’t been by for a couple of weeks, and remembered you were having surgery, so was really sad to hear your news. I have to say, if I was in your position (which of course I’m not), I think I would go for another opinion, and sod the financial stuff. It’s your life!! If someone MAY be able to help, you need to check it out I reckon!
I can’t imagine the shock of going in for the op, and waking up to this news.
I’m sending you loads of love and hugs from UK!
Keep going, don’t give up, coz……..YOU’RE WORTH IT!Lisa, I hope you will be checking in in a while with good news. Hope the surgery went well, and that you are doing OK.
Hi Patricia. I don’t come by the site too often now, but pop in every couple of weeks for a nose, to see how everyone is doing.
I just wanted to say that I too have the same kind of feelings that you do. It is not quite a year since Mum died (21st April), but I often find myself wishing that I’d made more time for her when she was staying with us, wondering how I could have done more for her etc etc. Like you, I know it is not necessarily rational thinking, it comes from a place of sadness and pain.
Just wanted to say hi really, and to let you know that you are not alone. Much love xxxDear Richard, I am so sorry to hear that your Dad has died. Your post was very moving, and it is very obvious how dear he was to you all. All I can do is send you lots of love and hugs, and wish you and your familywell in the coming months. x
So sorry to hear your Dad has gone Lisa-Ann. I know how you are feeling, and am sending you lots of love and hugs from UK. Much love to you and your whole family. I’m sorry he had to suffer, and I’m glad he’ll be at peace now.
As always Jeff, I’m sad to hear bad news, and always I am sending you much love all the way from UK, and I too hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving, with LASHINGS and OODLES of delicious gravy!! Much love to you! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello Ron. So sorry to hear that things have gone pear-shaped for you all over again. I refer to the CC of course, not the footie!!
Just want you to know that down here in Sussex, I am thinking of you and wishing you well. Much love.
