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Sorry to hear about your Mom Andy. The people on this site are great and share the latest on treaments. Being your Mom is a young 77, she may definitely have more options than you were presented with.
It’s hard on a caretaker when a loved one won’t talk about it. It’s a control thing and I don’t mean it in a bad way. Doctors pull the rug out from under someone with bad news, a time line, seemingly cancer is calling the shots. It messes up the head. Give your Mom time to adjust, gently suggest “just talking to another doctor”, that way you give the power back to her. Good mothers are strong and wise, trust her decisions.
After my Dad was diagnosed, I was the one watching for the Angel of Death, he went on living. Taught me good. Day at a time.
There are amazing success stories on this site, don’t count your Mom out yet, doctors go by stats. You may have much more time with her (quality too) than first believed. Prayers for you both. Good luck.
Hugs to you also Patrice. When words aren’t enough our hearts send us tears. Your not alone, I’ve cried reading many of these posts. Kath
Beautiful story of your Mom and Dad. What a loving couple to the end, such devotion. Reading your posts you seem to connect with everyone and know the right things to say. You have a heart of gold, a good son and carrying your burdens with class.
My Mom passed in Aug 2000 of CHF and my Dad was a fish out of water. Myself also, she was my best friend and had such wonderful humor.
“Stan the Man” is like your analogy, energizer bunny. Each hit he takes I think “Well this it”, but it isn’t. Driving was his only escape, not possible now due to macular so walking is his thing, his private time. Really thought I may have had to place him in a nursing home , that day may come soon.
After Mom’s passing he would come across Montel’s show having Sylvia Browne as a guest. It made him think about seeing Mom again, she talking to people on the otherside. I don’t watch much daytime tv, and the scheduling always changes. He comes out of his room angry after changing channels for eternity. Upset he said, “Can you help me find the Mandela Show? I must of had a puzzled look thinking about Nelson Mandela having a talk show, (Does Oprah and Dr. Phil know this?). Getting impatient with me he says, “You know, the one with Eleanor Browne!” It’s these moments that I will file to remember over the darker times. A smile can heal.
To you Jeff, and all those that have the disease I applaud your faith/strength pursuing treatments and possible cures. My Mom had gallbaldder problems, now with Dad having CC of course I can’t help at times to think about my genetic prospects (did have a gallbladder problems in late 80’s, early 90’s). I like the idea of research dealing with light therapy, being our cellular basis functions on electric impulses and plasma (light form) for every function. Not very up on the medical terminology nor having the knowledge that most have on this site, in layman’s terms will say Signals. Something signals this disease to start, in turn a signal can arrest it. Trick is early detection.
Have a friend who has lymphatic cancer is stage IV, and was unsuccessful with experimental trials. In church a prayer said for her and this little kid stood up, about 5 or 6. He turned to her and said, “I think the cancer gets mad at the poison that is in your body, and spreads by chasing it through your body. Please don’t misunderstand this last paragraph. A cure wouldn’t be found for any disease if it weren’t for brave people trying new treatments. I just hope for treatments that won’t cause more harm than good.
You didn’t run on Jeff, I am. Your Dad was a prince, you are your father’s son. I know my posts aren’t medically informative, maybe just focusing more on the person than the disease.
Prayers for All, Kath
The ole bird is hanging in there, a little restless because the temps in CT been pretty chilly hindering his walks. I got him to eat Morning Star breakfast sausages this morning. He is/was such a T-Rex concerning meat this is a great revelation and effort to cut down on fats.
Wanted to schedule a Cardio Dr. visit and he wouldn’t hear of it. Says, “The G.P and Gastro men said they didn’t need to see me anymore, what is this guy going to do?” I brought it up for he has some swelling in ankles and lower calfs. Could be CC or his blockages. May need the compression socks back on. Have Lasix but isn’t a silver bullet.
Thank you for keeping my spirits up, and noticing things that are threads tying us all in. Humor is keeping us going, even through the spats.
Thank you Richard, Marions and Joyce for your replies and caring. By respecting their choices we repect them, their spirit within also which is much wiser everything else put together. Each and every situation is different.
Take care, Kath
PS I have a brother named Richard, and a sister named Joyce, they don’t get involved nor have come to see Dad (old resentments), I have gained many sisters and brothers with many different names. Synchronicity, neat huh?