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It it, with the heaviest heart, that I’d like to tell all of you that my courageous Dad passed away yesterday @5:03pm.
He had slipped into a coma, had a stoke but still managed to wake up a bit for about 2 1/2hours and mouthed that he loved us.
He also said “dont leave” with a tear that ran out of his eye which we all knew that he didnt want to leave us but we told him that we would be ok.
Dad will be spending Christmas in Heaven with my Mom and God!
Your kind words are appreciated. I only hope what you say is true, that his love will protect and guide me.
Are we ever ready to loose our parents?????
I wish you could have met him too. He is an extraordinary man.
I am so blessed that God chose him for me. Without his guidance I would have been lostl. I dont know what I’m going to do without being able to sit and talk to him and he never would interfere in either my marriage or my parenting but would be there as my sounding board.
The hospice nurse stopped by today just to say “hello” as it wasnt her day to be here. she said she was in the area but I think she just wanted to see him.
Have a good day!
I am glad you enjoyed my post and that it bought back good memories for you.
Yes it is a wonderful tribute and as you said, it is nice that he got to know about it before he passes.
Have a great nite,
Marions & Lainy,
I want to say how much I appreaciate your kind words of encouragement. We had the nurse here yesterday and they are changing him from the morphine to fentyl patches which should hopefully arrive today.
He is still having terrible vomiting at times and hopefully his “kit” will arrive today with the ani-naseau medication and that will settle his stomach.
I am with my 2 sisters and 1 brother and we are all spending time with him and helping in any way we can.
He has been very alert when he is not in pain or sick so we are remembering the “old days” when the whole neighborhood knew you and your family and how great it was that we didnt have to grow up as fast as the kids today do.
He told us that he has started to have very calming “awake dreams” and I know that this is also part of the passing process. He said that he doesnt want to move at those times because they are making him feel so serene.
Thank you for being there!
Thank you all for all of your input and prayers.
Dad finally allowed us to call Hospice in yesterday. it was a big step for him.
He told them he was tired and was ready and then he also told my sister and I the same thing and that he wanted to be with my mother who we lost almost 5 years ago. We let him know that although we will miss him we understand that it is time for him to go and they we will be ok.
The priest also came and prayed over him and he reached out his hands to my sister and I and we prayed with him.
They have started him on oxygen and morphine but he is still in pain although we have given him as much as he wants as we were told to do. He was up all nite retching and throwing up so they are coming back today to adjust his medication and bring something for the naseau.
He told me this morning that he wishes he would die already as he is so tired and I am hoping this will be fulfilled sooner rather than later.
I will miss his guidance, laughter and LOVE.
Thank you Pam. I really appreciate your concern.
Dad is having very labored breathing and he said the Percocet is not helping with the pain any longer even though he is taking 2 at a time. He is hardly eating or drinking. I am afraid he will dehydrate. He said he cant fight any longer and he knows his time is limited.
My sister and brother came from NY today and my children and grandchildren came to visit.
I came to stay with my sister as she cannot do this on her own and I want to be here with both of them.
He wont let us call in hospice til tomorrow but he cannot even sleep because he is in so much pain. He also cant stop coughing. His color is horrible.
I feel so helpless.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Tom.
I know the pain you are going thru right now but just take some time for yourself each day and give yourself a “pat on the back” for all the work you did to help him live almost 4 years more than you ever thought.
My Dad is still refusing to have Pallative Care come in because he is trying a new chemo “cocktail”. he is getting weaker, loosing a lot of weight-can now feel his bones as Dad was a big man, he is hardly eating or drinking. spends most of his day sleeping and his gait is awful, I am afraid he is going to fall. His color is awful and his stomach is soo big. he coughs all the time and he is finally taking the painkillers but I can see that they are not really working that well.
I know he is trying to hold on for Christmas but I dont see that happening unless there is a miracle to come.
God Bless you and all the others on this wonderful site,
Thank you for your caring words. Its nice to know that all of you have either gone thru or are going thru the same things we are now and can understand all the emotions I am feeling. Not that I wish this on anyone.
My daughter said to me “how would it make you feel if we buried you instead of the cremation you want?”. she’s right, I would want things done as I asked.
Take care of yourself too.
Thank you for your support.
My daughter said she spoke to her tonite and when she said that her Grandfather’s last wishes should be carried out my sister didnt say anything and when my daughter asked if she was still there she abruptly said she had to go. My daughter is very upset with her and she said we have to stand up to her,
On top of all of this I sprained by arm above the wrist and I am in a half cast with an ache bandage around it. My back is also killing me as stress causes me to get more spasms and that causes more pain.
I hope Dad gets his 1st wish and that is that it will be fast for him.
sorry if there are typos as its hard to keep my fingers on the keyboard
Thank you for your kind words.
I cant believe that she is putiing us thru this at a time like this but as I said its usually her way or no way.
I am so sorry that you are going thru this but you have been strong so far and Tom knows that you have fought this terrible disease right along with him.
God Bless You and your family but know that Hospice will do whatever needs to be done to make this final step easier for him and all of you.
My Dad is not too well either. He tried a new “cocktail” of 5FU and 2 other chemos. His breathing is also shallow. As a matter of fact, when I went into his room yesterday when he was napping I though he was not breathing. He sleeps a lot and his ankles are extremly swollen. He also looks ashy.
I will go back to stay with him tomorrow and if he is the same I will call his Dr and ask him to have hospice come back as they were there last week but because he tried the chemo they couldnt do anything yet although they felt he needed oxygen already-I do too. I know he’s trying to get thru Christmas but I dont see that happening.
Take care of yourself,
I am so sorry for your loss and I know that your children will give you the strenght that you need to go on for them.
My eldest son said, when he found out about my father, his Pepa, “Look at the legacy he is leaving” as my Dad only has a short time left.
keep your memories close to you and smile when you think of something special.
KathyNovember 13, 2011 at 12:03 am in reply to: Dad’s count hasnt gone any with 4 days of shots. having nose bleeds #54290
Thank you Lainy & Marions,
I greatly appreciate all of your support, well-wishes and love. This site has been a godsend to me.
It given me enough info to question the Dr. correctly and to say the things to Dad that gave him encouragement to keep fighting.
When you hear what other people have gone through you appreciate that they know exacly where you are and what emotions you are feeling.
Yesterday I told Dad it was time to stop protecting us and talk to us. He did, and we have started what I now know will be many more open, honest talks in the coming days, weeks, whatever time there is.
My children are also having a hard time dealing with this and I told them that their “Pepa” has said that they can show any emotion they want in front of him.
They have all offered to help out as they know my bad back doesnt last the whole day when I have a lot to do and cant rest.
God Bless all of you,
I will keep you posted as much as possible!