kmemoro

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  • kmemoro
    Spectator

    My sister & I went to the Dr. with Dad yesterday and it was the worst news. The fluid in his stomach is all cancer cells and at this time all of the organs are involved. The Dr. said its as bad as it can get and when Dad asked if he should get his affairs in order the Dr. said that if there was anything he needed to get done he should do it now.
    Knowing that all of his organs will fail soon is disheartening and as he said” I hope it’s quick”
    God Bless him!
    We talked last nite and my other sister & brother are coming tomorrow as well as my adult children and we will all sit and talk. Whatever Dad decides he wants done we will abide.
    Please pray for him!

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Marions,
    Dad does NOT feel any better after the aspiration of the fluids. He is weaker and has some breathing difficulty.
    The waiting game is the worst for everyone.
    The whole game plan will be in Dad’s hands to decide what he wants to do but we will be there to either guide him or abide by his decision. He is still quite capable of making any and all decisions for himself.
    Kathy

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Lainy,
    Thank you for your response. You and I both know that all Dr’s can write “STAT” and have their response at once but they dont care. I see it all the time.I work for a Cardiologist and if a family member calls and we are told to tell them that the Dr. will call back after he finishes with his patients and his reports.
    I do understand that if they take every call from every patient the patients in the office would never be seen but there HAS to be an easier way for all. The damn government keeps putting more & more work on the office in that we have to make sure everything is in the computer before we can see the patient as a real person.
    I will start calling the 1st thing in the morning as there isnt even an area to leave a message for the Dr.-only an emergency number to call. they dont even patch you over to the covering MD, they make you dial another number. I will call all morning and then I will drive down there after a half day of work and sit in the office until Dad has answers.
    We do have to sit as a family and let him make the decisions as to what he wants to have done for him as it seems as if there will be no more chemo that can do any good anymore.
    Kathy

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Dad was seen by his primary ONC today because he has had diahrea for 3 days. he said he believes the CA has now spread to the intenstines and scheduled him for a CT Scan tomorrow. he said he would have the results Monday but I think this has to be resolved tomorrow as all of we 4 children with him on Sunday. I know, from working in the medical field, that the CT scan results can be read right away and that the report can be generated then as well. The nurse gave my sister home hospice paperwork and we need to do this as a family.
    The Dr. that did the fluid removal yesterday said my father was “fat”-he’s lost more than 60 lbs. he also said he thought it was in the muscle and tissue.
    What the heck does all of this mean? Can someone explain?
    Dad broke down and actually cried for the first time today.
    I’m numb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    in reply to: new here.. my father’s C.C. #53001
    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Sparklynne,
    So sorry for the loss of your father.
    Although it is sad to loose someone so quickly its also sad to watch those that you love and who protected you get sicker and not be able to help.
    I am tired of the Dr’s not giving any answers and sending to other specialists that they know cannot possibly do anything-like a GI Dr.
    Kathy

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Dad had 1 liter of fluid removed today and still his stomach is huge. the technician/Dr that did the procedure said that the CA may be in his muscle and tissue now and that he should be seen by a GI. the ONC has not called my sister back after numerous calls today.
    How r we, as a family, supposed to get any clear cut answers as to the extent of the CA and the pallative care that will or will not continue????

    in reply to: Father diagnosed 11/2 #54253
    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Dear Genindle,
    So sorry about the loss of your Dad. As my Dad gets sicker I hope that his passing will be as peaceful.
    Today my sister-in-law lost her loving Aunt to leukemia. She was only 55 years old and leaves behind an son with Down Syndrome who cant understand the concept of death.
    God Bless all of you on this site

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Thank you all of you for your info.
    Dad is having the fluid removed Wednesday and his primary ONC said he will know more then so I hope it is honest with him @ that time and the decision will be his about home hospice

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Dad went back to Dr. this am and now they say he has to have “cancer fuild” removed from his stomach. Never heard of this? have any of u?

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Marion,
    I thank you again for all of your guidance.
    Dad was not told anything about home hospice as it was my sister who asked the questions when he was having labs done when he was being seen by the weekend covering ONC.
    This is the issue we are now faced with. He primary ONC noted on his chart that the patient’s hopes were high and maybe should not be told how sick he really is. Is this fair to the patient? He is very alert and not at all a stupid man and deep down I believe he knows. I, having worked in the medical field for over 22 years, have never been a believer of keeping the truth from a patient. If it were me I would insist nothing be told to anyone before I was told as this is what I had done when I had my 3 previous back surgies.
    Dad has already written notes to each one of us 4 children so he has started to prepare for the inevitable.
    I have been trying to take care of myself and I hope that the block tomorrow will give me the relief to be there to help with the care of my Dad.
    I am so fortunate that I have a husband that helps with every aspect of keeping things running in our house. I cook, he cleans. He is amazing and we also have 4 grown children who are ready, willing and able to help in any way they can. As my eldest son said” What a great legacy “Pepa” will be leaving, 11 grandchildren who range in age from 2 to 39 and 3 great-grandchildren, 3,3 &5 who love him, adore him and respect him”. He always said there were always great Christmas’ in our family because there has always been little ones to enjoy celebrating with. My sister was only 10 when I had my 1st child.
    I am going to be putting in for FML as I am fortunate that my state has the coverage with at least some income coming in while I can help. My other sister is also fortunate in that she can do a couple of days at home-so Dad’s place, but my brother lives in NY and has the 2 year old and a 5 year old so is not able to help. He lives with his in-laws and his father-in-law is disabled with back problems and cannot fend for himself and his 55 year old wife’s Aunt is dying with full-blown leukemia which was only diagnosed 2 weeks ago. Poor thing beat double breast CA 2 years ago and now this. SHe also has an adult autistic son who still needs her.What a friggin world we live in.
    sorry I’m rambling but it seems like u start to say something and a thousand things pop into your head.
    My head is spinning with questions .
    Kathy

    in reply to: The Endgame #52893
    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Dear Adam
    I am soo sorry for the loss of your beloved Petra. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.
    Its hard to loose someone you love but when they are so young it is even harder but know that she would want you to go on and keep her memory alive for the kids.
    Kathy

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Marion,
    I thank you for all of your concer.
    Dad has now had 6 straight days of shots and his count still will not go over 60.
    He is also complaining about the size of his stomach and that something is moving so he cannot sleep on his side anymore which he always has.
    My sister had to go to the Dr. with him as I had an URI & Bronchitis and may even possibly have pneumonia so I had to stay away from him which I did not like @all.
    Anyway, the covering Dr. told her that the CA has metastasized to the liver and that is what he is feeling. She also told my sister that his pain tolerance level has to be high as anyone would be on IV pain meds. He is SOB with just walking a few steps. She also said that she doesnt think he will be able to continue with chemo and that it may be time to have home hospice take over.
    I have seen other people’s posts when chemo can no longer be tolerated and the patient goes downhill fast.
    What I am to do? I cannot go with him again in the am as I am having a facet joint block @ 7:45am
    Thanks!
    Kathy

    in reply to: Father diagnosed 11/2 #54243
    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Pamela,
    I’m sorry your daughter is sick and my prayers are with you. She is young and able to fight and needs your strength too.
    It is very hard to watch Dad get weaker and sicker every day and know that there is nothing I can do to ease that pain.
    I was always the one who knew when he was not well. 11 years ago I made him go for an Ultrasound when he twin was diagnosed with right kidney CA. Sure enough, he whole right kidney was encased and the CA was totally removed.
    I kept asking him this time to go to another GI Dr because he kept kind of clearing his throat and on Father’s Day this year I really did not like his coloring. He looked kind of yellow and he told me he was in the sun and that was his “Irish tan”. He always makes jokes of things.
    I keep wondering if I had made the appt for him somewhere else if it would have been caught earlier and he could have had the resection and not this sick.
    He always told everyone that I was his “Dr” and that I saved his life. I wish I could save it again and again and again

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    Marions,
    when they did a CT scan 3 weeks ago they said he had fluid. he was scheduled for the drainage, went to the hospital, was prepped and then they said he didnt have enough to be drained. thats when they made the decision to start the Gemzar.
    the CT in Oct. said the tumor hadnt grown but when they tried to do the resection in July and they couldnt we were told that the tumor totally encompassed the whole area. before the surgery we were told that at least 1/3rd of the liver was already involved and that there were numerous spots in his pancreas. the surgeon never went near those areas to tell us what they were.
    I am having problems and my GI said we need to know if the CA is in it.
    The CA19-9 is over 1600 and the CEA is very high too. we know that means the CA is elsewhere but when we ask for more tests they say that there’s no need as he is getting only pallative care now so it wouldnt make a difference.
    what do we do? Dad lives with my sister and she is talking to the nurse who has been forthwith but I think its time to have a straight-forward talk with us as I having been going with him too and the Dr. skirts around a straight answer.
    sometimes I think they just want to make the money on the treatments and not whats best for the individual patient.

    kmemoro
    Spectator

    do u have some kind of a medical backround? r u an PA, RN?
    I’ve worked for Dr.’s for years and I do know some things but was never with oncology

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 38 total)