lynnd
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Hello Clarem,thank you,i am well,one day at a time,thank you for asking,and how are you?Lainy copy away,miss tressa told me write write write,i am starting to fine a new normal because i know i will never be the me i was with george,i need to find a new me,somewhere..due time,i have decided,that since an old friend of georges comes by a few times a week to go riding,im going to take a riders edge course to get a motorcycle endorcement.the freedom i feel on that bike is unbelieveable,.have to try,mom is happy,she started riding at 58,now at 77,she just sold her bike a year ago..she says riding was one of the best things she has ever done..love you all
oh Lainy,that is beautiful.i forgot to tell you all about the penny,i was sitting at georges computer resizing pictures of him for a neckless im making,and from out of nowhere a penny falls onto my leg.i am going to put that penny in the neckless..love you all lynn
Well hello everybody,sorry it took so long,i made it back home wednesday evening,all in all my mini vacation went ok,it was nice to see family and friends
but i got really really home sick.yesterday was me and Georges anniversary,i took flowers and a card to him,in the rain,But the interesting thing happended on the way,i was driving,just about ready to turn into the cemetary,and i felt George,i really did,he brushed my leg,i know he did,there was no one or nothing that could of done that.after i gave him the flowers,i came home,feeling peace,last night,i got up out of georges recliner,where i had been sleeping since he passed,and went to bed.i slept so peaceful for the first time in a month…love and hugs to you all Lynnwell here i am in pa,spent the night across the delaware in trento nj with friends,going to my sisters in the morning,i still cant clear my head,even tho george has never been here,i see him everywhere,i thought this would be good therapy,it dosnt seem to be working,i feel guilty for leaving him,i mean it just dont seem right ,i keep waiting for him to call,like he did in 2006,when i was here last.i miss him so much.
Thank you everybody,i think im ok,social workers were here yesterday for 2 hours,barney and tressa,i loved it,i cant talk about george without crying,tressa said thats ok,cry,by the time they left,i was smiling,they said to me,even tho we did’nt know george that long,he left a lasting impression on them with his out going personality,george always made them laugh.well,now,a little on whats been going on with me,tonight i will be going to pa to visit some family,everybody says it will do me good,i am taking my computer,i wasnt going to,but,i guess george told me to because i started looking at dvd’s,to play on my laptop for the 22hr trip on the train and i found one with our grandsons in the summer of 2009 playing with their grandpa george,i cried happy tears when i watched it,george was so healthy,laughing,and giving the boys a ride on the lawn mower,it was so good to hear his laugh,see his smile,and hearing him talk…..i miss him so much..more later got to pack,love you all big hugs and many blessings.Lynn
Thank you everybody,just wanted to let everybody know some things that happened since i posted last,well,i was doing some cleaning,just going through some totes we had,i had no clue what was in them,then i found pictures of george from years befor he got sick,wow,what a good feeling i got,i do believe i was led to that tote..Another thing,at 12:30 this morning,i was watching a movie,sitting in georges recliner,when all of the sudden i got this overwhelming urge to pop a bag of pop corn,thats not the strange part,the thing is,i CANT STAND pop corn,never really had a taste for it,could;nt even stand to be in the same room when it was popping,the smell just took my breath away,like asma,i could only think,ok,george loved his popcorn,especially while watching movies,and he was here with me and wanted some,yes,i did pop it and i ate the WHOLE bag….I guess my George got hungry…and ate through me..much love and hugs. lynn
I held your hand as you took your last breaths with me,i hope i only made you feel comfort & peace in your journey to become my guardian angel. I love you with all my heart George
George passed away Friday December 14th.He took his last breath at noon..The last 4 monthe since his diagnosis,i would not trade for anything.On thursday,the 13th,i was wearing a tee shirt with a fairy on it,i was standing by his bedside,holding his hand,when sweet george slowely raised his hand and gently brushed the face of the fairy on my shirt with his finger.something i will never ever forget,and i will have that shirt until i die…
I close my eyes i see you,I open my eyes i miss you……,.
things have changed the last 2 hrs,dont want to get into it,but i will say that miss kay was here,and ordered 24hr care,nurse will be here by 6..love you all,lynn.
Good morning ,well,we had a pretty restfull night,marions,keeping him uncovered off and on really helped,thank you for reassuring me it was ok,george slept much better,and when he got a little restless,i put a sheet over him.but this is what i wanted to tell you all,a few minutes ago,when i went to get my coffee,and go right back to george,wasnt gone 3 min,he was on his feet i dropped my coffee and too a giant leap to get him,and lay him back down,i ask him what are you doin,he whispered i got to pee…when he had his gulbladder removed in may,i was there 24 7 taking care of him,so i would hold the bedside urinal thingy so he could go,basically that is what i have been doing for him now,he has an aduld diaper,and i know he dose not like it,so i started un doing it,and helpiing him like i did in may,hes much more comfortable well,more later love and hugs lynn
P.S.Lainy i was going to call you yesterday,i just got busy with everybody being here..i will try to call you later….
good evening everybody,we had quite an eventful early morning,and day.First,at 5am or so george sat up and hollered for his mom,he had his legs of the bed and he wanted to get up,i couldnt help i tried tho,he is so weak he couldnt,so he fell back on the bed with his legs hanging off,i tried to get them back on the bed,his legs were just to heavy,i called hospice and told sandy whats going on and they send an aide right away,in the mean time,i wasnt giving up,i got georges legs back on the bed,his aide,David,oh what a god send he is awesome,now george wouldnt coperate with me at all,But with david,george was awesome,David is so good with him,even his sister thinks hes great,well,anyway,david stayed 2 hrs,bathed george,shaved him gave him a massage,he really relaxed him.mis kay got here just after david left,and the hospital bed was delivered this afternoon,its wonderful…georges sisters and brother spent the whole day with him,his brother even helped me change georges shirt.i am sitting right beside george while typing this,yawning and snoring,and now taking the covers off,gotta go for now,Love and hugs Lynn
i didnt call her,i gave george a sponge bath a few minutes ago,and it took so much out of him just to lift his legs so i could dress him,he was breathing hard like he ran a marathon,i lost it,i got him settled and lsft the room to have a good cry.his mother and i talked today and started making arrangements.its just been a very trying day…
every day this gets harder and harder,early this morning george fell,he took me down with him,hes ok,it took awhile but i got him back up and in bed,george is a very stubborn man he wants to do things on his own his way.with what little strenght he has,he puts up on heck of a fight,and it was because of this he fell.I was walking him back to bed after going to the bathroom,and just as i turned him to guide him back into bed,he pushed me away,and we both went down.thats not all,a few minutes ago,he got up to go to the bathroom,i tried to help him up,at first he said leave me alone im alright,he tried but couldnt,so again i helped,when he got to his feet i was still holding on to his arm,he pushed me away,so i followed close behind,he made it,ok,when he started walking back to the recliner i was right behind him ready,well,he started falling sideways i caught him,but if the back door wasnt there,we would of went down again,i hurt my little toe.Miss kay is getting him a bedside potty and comming by this afternoon.i will talk to her about what else i can do.he is so restless,he dont know where he wants to be,in bed or his recliner.i will let you all know when miss kay leaves and what she sugests.love and hugs Lynn
thanks everybody.im taking your advise about how to answer george,miss kay(nurse)was here,she ordered george something for his congestion,she can hear it in his lungs.george talks about odd things,im doing the best i can.his sister came by after work,she broke down,then went to their moms and to her just how bad george is,then she called me a few minutes ago,she was crying,and said shes comming in the morning.george is her first born,on top of the pain and heartache im in,the pain is much deeper when you lose a child,i know,i lost a son 28 years ago,so i the burning heart ripping pain that she is going through george is her son.sorry rambling dont know if i made sense…love and hugs Lynn.
