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I think -how brave Frogspawns observation because it is difficult to present a more moderate point of view,treatmentwise-yes it is actually-and I think some may refrain from saying anything so heres to a wide variety of opinions being expressed Janet
Dear Marilyn
What a hard year this must have been for you.My husband,Joel died earlier this year at the same age.I was 7 years younger than him and so I have kids still at high school-or 1 kid-.It has been a bit of a reaching out sort of time using this medium which was newish to me.Joel died 3 months after diagnosis and it was his 1st illness ever.My sons and I are still struggling.This is overwhelming what has happened to us and you know we need to stick together kind regards JanetHi this is a good question but one that is impossible to answer.As a registered nurse for 30 years I have been asked many times.You certainly know when things are terminal,drawing to the end but it is not easy to predict how close to the actual end so I think you need to say what you need to and stay close and gather your supports because the end of life can vary and sometimes take you by suprise kind regards from Janet
addit sometimes people can lapse into a coma lasting several days .While some fluids are still being taken life can continue but once no food or drink is taken it is usually not long .
Dear people,
I hope you are all hanging in there.Sue,I hope the graduation went well and you got some nice photos-the holiday sounded terrific as did Joyces break in the mountains.Congratulations,Pauline on organizing the memorial,it must have given you a few worries beforehand.I hope everone is enjoying summer and Darla you are getting some breaks away from the shop.
I have had to put the work aside lately as my mother had a knee op and then developed some heart problems so I have been up and down from Sydney constantly.I cant say Im that keen to work at the hospital with all
the swine flu cases-we are in the peak of flu season here-midwinter.
Im still having a regular chinese massage which is helping and trying to swim twice per week at a heated pool,not as good as the ocean pools but they are pretty cold this time of year.What type of cats are they,Cyndi?
Take care folks love from JanetHi This is a terrible experience for you,to see your dad like this.You will remember the great dad that he has always been until this last while-my sons have been through what you are are experiencing,it is so hard but just remember the real him throughout,you will be ok love Janet
Dear Charlene
I think the antidepressant is a great idea and takes the edge off the acute despair of the grief.Be sure that it is the right time to stop it-restart it again if its not and as Annie correctly says -stop it very slowly.The SSRI antidepressants are not addictive but they are known for side effects when stopping.It would not make sense to replace it with a Benzodiazapine drug like valium as benzos are addictive.I think be patient with yourself as this grieving period for us is full of ups and downs(small ups and big downs)……….Eventually we will all get to a better place with or without medication love from JanetDear Danielle,
I know exactly how you are feeling and I think it can be rather frightening at times.I think we just exist,just hang in there by threads and I dont know if there is a normal way through it.Some of us are lonely in empty houses,some of are equally lonely in houses full of teenagers.It is a truly dreadful experience to go through.Sometimes counselling can help if you get the right person.
I dont know about the full time work as grief is a very tiring process.What helped me a lot was swimming in the ocean-it had a spiritual quality to it that helped to lift my spirits good luck Janet xxDear Stan,Yes it is a very challenging and surreal sort of time.I went through it recently with my husbands death with sons who are 20 years younger than you.I thought we would be totally destroyed by it but we managed to exist through it all and just hang on and come through…just.
Look after each other and support your mother.My sincere condolences JanetDear Deborah
Sorry to hear your news.I was in the same position a few months ago and send my sincere condolences to you and your family.You just have to take it one day at a time as emotions can be a bit all over the place love from JanetKris,I am sorry about your poor nursing care.As an RN for the last 30 years I am sorry that you didnt feel properly cared for Janet
You and your brothers and your dad will be ok-you all look after each other and thats the way through things love from Janet
Dear people
I am not quite there for the distressing this time last year memories.This time last year we were on a terrific family holiday in Queensland.When we came back I encouraged Joel to have a mens health check with the local GP as I had just had a womens health check.That checkup revealed the devastating diagnosis.
It was my birthday a few days later and my mum took me out to lunch and we both cried through it.
Some of the places sound lovely where people are holidaying.The Adirondacks has an interesting history.Mountains and Highlands are great I think because I live at the beach.I like the sound of the markets that Darla visits too.
I hope ,Sue that you have had a lovely,companiable holiday with your daughter and Pauline I hope you are able to keep your spirits up.
My best wishes and positive vibes to all-it is winter here and I have been a bit silly buying scarves of all different types,suddenly got a bit of a thing for them.Retail therapy!
love from JanetI can identify with your mother.I didnt even want nurses involved and wanted to do it all myself.I think you can get a rush of adrenalin in these cicumstances which can carry through.
Having said that I think getting some sleep is important as you do run out of steam without catching up on sleep.I do think that a terminal condition where there may be very little time left is a different scenario to chronic health conditions and general failing .Do you have any other relatives or close friends who may be able to offer a few hours?
My father died a few years ago and my husband died recently and although both experiences were devastating they were quite different Janet
