Forum Replies Created
Please accept my condolences for the passing of your mum. I lost mine too in October2015 and I just wanted to say I know how you’re feeling. I feel completely lost without her, like a piece of me is missing. What I’m grateful for is the amazing relationship we had and I know this grief never ends but it does change. Its a passage, not a place to stay. It’s the price of Love….Thinking of you Christina x
Just wanted to say my thoughts are with you Daisy at this difficult time. I too lost my mum very quickly last October and it does leave you completely shell-shocked afterwards. It’s a slow process picking up the pieces so take care of yourself.
I think it’s one of those things that affects everyone so differently so probably impossible to put a time frame on it, but we found out end of August last year when my mother became jaundiced that she had CC. She had a stent fitted (but I found out later that it never really worked properly) and she passed away the beginning of October. She had no pain relief as well, though i am sure there was a lot of discomfort. So for me it was all too quick.
Sending you my very best thoughts and best wishes.
Take care of yourself x
Welcome to this wonderful site. Just wanted to say that my dear mum was 90 when it was discovered she had cc. It was all very sudden and after diagnosis at the end of August she passed away the beginning of October. It doesn’t really matter how old she was, she was my best friend and for me the loss has left a huge hole. She had no pain relief at all, even though she was asked continuously if she was in pain. Not sure if that was normal but I have to say there didn’t seem to be any suffering except she didn’t seem happy about her time coming to an end. Palliative care ensures symptoms are managed, and so there should be good pain management in place if that becomes an issue.
Sending you a virtual hug. Keep in touch,
Hi Robert, also from London. Welcome to this amazing site.
So sorry to hear of your loss. I too lost my mum at the beginning of October so early days for both of us. Just wanted to say I feel your pain.
Best wishes to you.
We are all one imo, so it’s lovely to hear that the Catholic church invited a Rabbi to be on the alter- just how it should be.
That saying of ‘grief is the price we pay for deep love’ will stay with me forever. Thank you for welcoming me as one of you (us). It’s so lovely to hear.
Thank you Lainy for sharing this. It is so comforting to hear what has happened to you. My mum was southern Italian (not from Sicily like you dear T), but nevertheless from the South. Sorry to hear of your own health issues. You sound like such a happy person…. looking forward to receiving your email.
I do believe things happen for a reason and I do speak to my mum and ask her where is she. Hopefully one day she let’s me know she is there one day x
Dear Lainy, and Gavin,
I do get comfort from reading the boards. It’s odd but it feels like this group is a family out there who understand exactly how it feels. From diagnosis, to treatment and whatever else happens including the good and the bad.
Lainy, I went through so many different emotions about the afterlife and have been researching this since mum passed. I was brought up catholic so afterlife belief is very much part of my heritage. Then I started to question this so now I really am not sure. At the moment I’m reading a great book called Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani. It is about her near death experience (NDE) and it is truly fascinating. So many people report similar stories when they have NDE’s and I do find this comforting.
I am trying to not let grief take over but my mum and I were, as my husband put it, ‘symbiotic’. We were like one. We spoke several times a day and I spent my weekends with her. Not being with her is such an awful feeling and all I want to do is cry. Yesterday when I got home from work there was a letter from the hospice attached to the hospital where my mum passed away offering bereavement support and I was so happy that this letter came. I did wonder if my mum sent this to me because maybe she knows I’m suffering and that life just doesn’t look the same anymore. The feeling is like being at the bottom of a very deep deep well and it’s pitch black. I’m looking up and every now and then see a little glimmer of light. I just hope that one day the light gets bigger and shines brightly.
Talking about light. I wanted to share this experience. The night before my mum died it was my turn to sleep at the hospital. (My brother and I spent the days together and took turns with the nights, effectively doing 30 hour shifts every other day). My husband said that night he was woken up in the early hours by light outside the bedroom. He said the whole landing was illuminated and he thought someone was shining a torch up our stairs and that it was a burglar and someone had broken in. This light he said was so bright and not a yellow light but the brightest white light he had ever seen. He jumped out of bed and went downstairs to see where it was coming from, he couldn’t see it in the house anymore and no one had broken in but he looked out into the garden and saw this light at the end of the garden, bright white as a long thin oval shape with the light radiating out from it and then it was gone. The next morning my mother had passed away and strangely that morning a few hours before she had gone I said to my brother when he arrived that my mum didn’t seem right. He eyes opened briefly and it was like she wasn’t there. The nurses did their usual daily washing and changing of the bedding that morning, and when they had finished I was going to go home and wash and change myself. I put my hands inside the bed to hold hers and noticed how cold they felt, I pulled the blanket back and saw that the sheet had a perfect circle of wetness where her hands must have been. Her night dress and the top blanket were both bone dry. I remember thinking how odd it was that there was this wet circle but no sign of where it had come from and everything else was dry. Nothing was leaking and nothing else was wet. My brother went to get the nurse to change the sheet again, I kissed mum and told her I was going home and would see her later, and when he came back her breathing changed. We were both there to hold her as she took her last breaths. I do wonder about that light. Was it mum coming to see my children before she went on her journey? I do like to think so.
My email is email@example.com.
It’s funny Lainy, but my eBay name is Lainygirl10. I don’t know where I got Lainy from but I just thought what a coincidence.
Sorry for the rambling story. Would love to hear your thoughts.
Gavin, thank you for your kindness.
Best wishes you xx
I’m looking at the Boards daily since I found this website and have to say the good work you Admin people do here is outstanding!! I wish I had found you sooner when I was going through the early stages of my mum’s diagnosis and care. It would have been so helpful.
Anyway this cloud of grief still has a tight grip on me. Yesterday I literally walked out from work to the train station and only realised I’d left my handbag at work when I’d actually got to the station. So unlike me and really upset me that I’d done something so stupid. Initially I thought my bag had been stolen so it was a relief to find it still under my desk at work. So many absent-minded things I am doing which I guess is quite normal.
I think about my dear mum all the time and miss her so much.
Love to you all xNovember 11, 2015 at 12:15 pm in reply to: How long could CC be growing before discovered in advanced stages? #90376
I find this conversation fascinating, because I too have been thinking the same thought and wondering how long my mum had CC before it was discovered by her becoming jaundiced. I’m looking back and wondering if there was a specific time or moment when something changed. Alas it is almost impossible to predict when that was. All I know is digesting food was a problem for a couple of years due to gallstones and there were many foods that had to be avoided. This problem became progressively worse. Is there a link between gallstones and CC? Anyway from discovering jaundice to mums passing was about 6 weeks.November 10, 2015 at 11:41 am in reply to: Past medical history of infected gallstones & link to CC risk? #89749
I’m also curious about the link of gallstones with CC. My dear mother had gallstone issues from 2011 but they were never treated. She then became ill at the end of August with jaundice and unfortunately passed away October. It was a quick illness though I do remember her complaining of digestion problems for a while. I know she was stubborn and didn’t want to entertain the idea of any surgeries and investigations, but it does make me wonder if she had sorted out the gallstones, then maybe she wouldn’t have got the cancer. It’s just a thought.
My best wishes to you.
Logging on and seeing your replies this morning has lifted my spirit. You understand so well how I’m feeling. Last night a friend of my mums send a most beautiful card, with words that summed up my mum completely. It made me cry knowing someone else felt and appreciated her qualities the same as me.
God bless you all and this site for being here right now.
I hope to get to know you all better.
This pain is awful and my heart is heavy. Thank you all x