pam

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  • in reply to: Hospice Here We Come #45064
    pam
    Spectator

    Lainy, We will be thinking of you both as you make the transition. I know you will be giving him your undivided attention! He will have the faculty charmed. Thinking of you, Pam

    in reply to: Dad… #44815
    pam
    Spectator

    Jen, baby Alex Joseph sounds perfect. I loved what your Dad said when he viewed the video and that he had a message for your sister made me well up. I am so proud of your family. To have something beautiful happen ton your family at this point is a small miracle. I’m glad that your dad will be feeling better soon, too. I know you will be taking lots of pictures soon.

    Lainy, you and Teddy have been on my mind for days. I come to this site several times a day to see if you’ve posted. I am sure everyone else does too. I hope everything goes well with your Hospice meeting today. I know you will post soon. Lots of love and the best of thoughts for you and Teddy.

    in reply to: no treatment, what happens now? #42792
    pam
    Spectator

    This is excellent news! My dad was a tough guy too. He survived an attempted surgery and chemo at stage iv and went on to have 6 months. He was in pretty good shape other than the cc. I think he would have lived into his 90s. I hope your dad has many more years with you all and I am glad he is back were he wants to be. The mountains sound beautiful. His surroundings might be the right medicine he needs! Have a great holiday with him!

    in reply to: Mams gone #44954
    pam
    Spectator

    So sorry for your loss, Molly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    in reply to: Sad sad sad day… #44980
    pam
    Spectator

    I am so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. Lainy was right when she said you will find hints of her that will comfort you in the upcoming weeks. I recently cupped my hands around my dad’s keys he loved having in his pocket. This site will be a comfort to you to express your feelings. Please post when you are ready. Thoughts and prayers will be with you as you make arrangements. Your mom is at peace now and you are a terrific daughter.

    in reply to: Teddy Update #44862
    pam
    Spectator

    Lainy, I so agree with your choice for the both of you. It will be comforting for you to be Teddy’s wife in the end. I know this from experience, because my sister and I were both nurse and daughters in the end, mostly nurses. My only advice is not to wait too long for Teddy to be transferred to his Hospice faculty. They will take the very best of care with him, but I don’t want too much stress on you. You are just too special. I know you’d are not ready for Teddy to go, but I also agree, the way he is now is not him. I felt very protective of my dad
    in the end.

    I am thinking of you and hope you will have all the comfort you deserve. Teddy will have the best care and will be in a glorious place in the end. You must try to get some rest. You are being very brave as well as Teddy. Take care and hugs to you, Pam

    in reply to: Fentynol (sp) #44836
    pam
    Spectator

    My dad used the patch. The first Hospice service we used prescribed it. It was great as we changed it every 72 hours. He used morphine for breakthrough pain. He didn’t have any side effects from it and it really helped with the pain. The second Hospice service said they wouldn’t have used the patch if we had gone with their service first. The only reason the nurse could give is when patients run high fevers the patch has to come off because patients can get too much in their systems too fast. That didn’t happen with my dad because he only ran low grade fevers at the end. So some Hospices prescribe it some don’t. Hope this helps.

    in reply to: SENSITIVE-Dreaming & Talking #44729
    pam
    Spectator

    Hi Lainy, remember that my dad recently past away. I told him days before he passed that he would have a new coffee shop buddy, Teddy, to solve world problems with in the near future.
    Teddy sounds a lot like where my Dad was weeks before he past away. We did not see blue coloration until hours before he died. He was, however, very jaundice so the coloration was hard to detect. My dad’s vitals were pretty good until a week before he died, too. He never pulled at his bed covers but he
    halluated and asked where my mom was several times. Adivan was the aniexty medication we gave him. It really worked well. My dad became so weak until he went into a coma until about eight days before he died. The congestion started as he went into the coma. We gave him congestion medication around the clock too. It helped to crush the aniexty and congestion medications when he could not longer swallow. We put them in his mouth with drops of water. I dont know if the Hospice nurse has told you, but most cancer patients will run fever closer to death. My dad did but we were able to uncover him to keep it down. The fever stayed low grade off and on for a couple of days. He kept his pain patch
    on and had liquid morphine around the clock.
    I don’t know if any of this helps, but my sister and I wanted to know when it
    would be his time. It is only natural to want to know! Our Hospice nurse said
    for us not to feel guilty about this. It was our protective nature and not

    wanting him to be in pain or be in distressed. I can honestly say he was comfortable. The only time he was semi alert was when he was given a bed bath. That was hard for him but necessary for him to rest. We just loved and reassured him that we would take excellent care of him. He was my dad, but I can’t imagine what you are going through with your husband. You are one brave amazing lady! Just know you are so special and you will have wonderful memories of your love for Teddy. I will be thinking of you in the upcoming weeks. Pam

    in reply to: itching #44423
    pam
    Spectator

    Hospice gave my dad pills to take internally that helped a lot. I don’t know the name of them. There is also a powder to dissolve in juice that might help bind bilirubin. Hope this helps. He also tried a lotion that had cloves or something like that that was added to the lotion by the pharmacy. It helped in the beginning and made the room smell great.

    in reply to: moms end stage #44382
    pam
    Spectator

    I am so sorry that your mom is so sick. My sister and I lost our dad on November 6h. It was a mirror situation where I was with him during the day while my sister worked and then we took turns at night with her having more nights. It is a tough road but in the end you will feel you did everything you could for your mom. It was an honor and privilege to take care of him.

    Just remember a few things. Everyone on this board told me to talk talk talk to my dad when he went in his coma. My sister and I talked to him about the whole summer and all the adventures we had. Then of course we had the serious talks with him when we told him it was okay to let go and that we loved him.

    Also when he went into the coma and we started to here congestion we gave him secretion medication around the clock. Aniexty medication and liquid morphine around the clock kept him very peaceful. We made a chart and set phone alarms as reminders. My dad lasted eight days in a coma with no food or water. It wasn’t scary at all. We just loved him.

    I am saying all this partly because it helps me to grieve. Mostly because it might help even thought each death is different. I wish you and your sister everything you need to get through this. You sound like strong ladies. Your mom will be in
    a better place soon. Take care, Pam

    in reply to: Update on my dad #43743
    pam
    Spectator

    Lainy, I will definitely ask my dad to look for Teddy. They would have enjoyed each other’s company.

    The morphine is liquid, but will ask about the congestion and anxiety in liquid. The anxiety medication really helps him not thrash about.

    All I can say is this is the way he would have wanted to go. I’m very protective of him!

    Thank you all for the kind words. They mean so much to me. I hope every one has a beautiful day. I will post again soon. Pam

    in reply to: My Dad #42908
    pam
    Spectator

    Thank you, he is in a coma like state. Has not woken up in two days. Just mumbles and takes medicine. He can not follow any directions. He knows I am right here along side him. I will take good care of him until the end. Thank you

    in reply to: My Dad #42897
    pam
    Spectator

    Thank you all for your words of encouragement. Today I heard the “death rattle”. I know the sound because my mom experienced it before her death. Hospice had given us secretion medication so I quickly gave him some. He will be given it every four to six hours. Even though I heard it several times this afternoon, my dad awoke to wanting ice cream and candy! So of course he got it all! He will get anything he wants from here on out. My husband comes home on Friday and I hope my dad makes it until then. Luckily my brother in law came home this evening. My dad seems to do better around guys. We have double beds set up in the room so BIL will stay with him. We will see what tomorrow
    brings. His Hospice nurse will see him tomorrow and will have more information for us, for sure.

    in reply to: Yikes, is there a light at the end of this tunnel, ever? #42657
    pam
    Spectator

    Isisman, you seem scared to me and that is very understandable. This cancer is a roller coaster. We ALL wish the best for our loved ones battling this cancer. I know with my dad it has been intense since May. Some times he needs extra pain medication other times he is fine. I think it is outstanding that he can exercise and walk. You seem like a young couple busy raising kids. My best advice to you is to possibly concentrate less on his illness. That may make you upset, but it is important for him to feel some normalcy. Have you thought about counseling to get you and your husband through these hurdles? Your life is not easy, by far. I understand your struggles. My husband lives six hours away and we are sacrificing our marriage at the moment so I can be my dad’s caregiver.

    in reply to: My dad’s progress #41540
    pam
    Spectator

    Andie and all, thank you so much for your support. The meeting with the social worker from Hospice went really well. She talked with my sister and I first and then my dad by herself. She was here to almost 7:30. She didn’t discuss the whole conversation she had with him, but told us he is more opened to hiring a sitter. He just thinks it is a waste of money. She explained to him that he needs 24 hr care and we have to be prepared for an emergency/etc. and it would be neglect if we didn’t give him what he needs. The biggest thing is this morning his attitude seems more positive! He just needed that talk with a neutral person! So, I already picked up his cadillac and we are going for a drive in a bit.

    Andie, people stare at my dad, too. I hate it! I am so glad your dad is getting around so well! He sounds amazing.

Viewing 15 posts - 181 through 195 (of 230 total)