paulpat

Dreaded Update!
Eve tho I don’t post regular, I have spend every morning reading the latest posts and crying.
Today it was decided by Paul’s Onc docs that we have reached the end of the road with the chemo ( out of options as doc put it) It really hasn’t been working in some time now, the latest attempt with Folfox, was zero.
It’s a relief for me in many ways, as my heart was so heavy watching this entire process with my dear husband, who has been very brave! He wanted more time, even tho the initial prognosis was SOOO GRIM.
Now we have made the decision to bring a Hospice Home Care team in who can assist with Paul’s needs. This man has a very high tolerance for pain, however the last several days, he’s been suffering much! He has now begun Morphine, and we are hopeful to get his pain level managed soon. I spent almost 20 yrs as a Hospice Home Care Nurse Aid, I know what lies ahead, however nothing could have prepared my heart for such an INTENSE break as I have @ this time.
I will try my best to keep you informed as the days and weeks unfold. I am in dire need of support, that I know you are able to share with me as you all are traveling this journey. GOD has given me this cross and I TRUST he will equip me with the COURAGE & STRENGTH to move forward and help my beloved husband (of 35 yrs) die. My life will never be the same and I will have a void daily learning to go on alone.
Blessings to all who are also on this journey of CC
Love, Pat ~