scottsmum

Hi Gavin ,

Thanks for the welcome post and I am sorry that I have had to join this Forum ,but glad for the outlet.Friendship and information will also be vital in the coming days.

My Mum’s case was headed by doctor Elaine Hendry apparently,although I only spoke to a dr.Siddhi myself.He said weeks /months to me.Terminal.

Apparently the GPs have talked to my parents at Brechin Infirmary and have told them up to 18 months,which I feel is probably optimistic with Mum’s state of general frailty and the fact she is already starting with the swelling of the ankles.

The hospital your Dad attended was Stracathro if he was there for a scan,and they have a Macmillan Centre recently opened there with a Day Centre which I will encourage my parents to utilise.

The big deal was that up till Tuesday ,my Dad was in Big time DENIAL and refused to discuss her illness in any way shape or form and as such I don’t think he has much of a grasp of the reality of the situation.

Since the GP talked to them it is a bit of a wake up call for him and we have at least got round to talking stairlift.Unfortunately ,my Mum’s successful attempt at stairs during Physio (don’t get me wrong, great!) means he thinks that can go on the backburner for now.She may not manage them next week,for God’s sake ,we just don’t know!

If he is to have her home for the long term he will need that lift big time!

Also I have it from the horses mouth that they have refused all help at this time.He needs to get some help in place NOW ,so that it can be increased as needed.If he gets out of his depth it takes time to organise these things
and she will end up back in the infirmary.I get the impression he thinks that when he gets her home it will somehow all just go away.

Please drive the thirty or so miles to Brechin Gavin and stop me from strangling the stubborn old B.

Of course I will be helping to the best of my ability, but I don’t keep that well myself.It doesn’t help that no-one seems to listen to me.My background is in nursing and social care when I worked,( but am now retired due to ill health),so I know what I am about.

I feel I am going to have to go over his head on this one ,I don’t want to fall out at a time like this ,but he must listen to reason.He will be 82 soon and has sciatica.He cannot be caring for Mum 24/7 without at least the potential for help in place.(Besides me)

They are talking of exercise classes when she gets home and dancing at their Diamond Wedding in October.She is on a zimmer to go to the toilet and can’t get up from the chair without assistance at the moment.I know we have to be hopeful( that it is not just weeks) and they have some decent amount of quality time left, but we must be realistic as well.

I don’t want to frighten them with the stark reality of what this beast can do as it will become apparent soon enough.

What do you or anyone else reading this advise I do ?(besides strangling Dad which wouldn’t help much for sure)

ScottsMum.