thewestwoodgardener
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Dear Lost in Ohio
I am so sorry for your loss. 36 days is not alot of time to get used to the idea that your husband even has CC, let alone that his life was taken so fast also.
I hope that you have family and friends around you.
My heart and prayers are with you.
LyndaHi Charlene,
My name is Lynda and I know what you’re going through. My husband Roger was diagnosed with CC 5 weeks ago. My god, it’s only been 5 weeks. It already feels like it’s been 4 or 5 years.
He’s had one week of radiation to relieve the pain in his shoulder thank god that fianlly helped. Than he started Chemo 3 weeks ago. The first round wasn’t bad, the only side effects he got were the hiccups. Then the last round he had vomitting the first night.
He is doing so well, we had ourselves hyped to believe in miracles. Yesterday the Doc told us to get out wills made and any other legal stuff done. I’m telling you it was like a big slap in the face.
It sucks watching the man you love die and not being able to do anything to help. I seem to be flipping back and forth between denial and depression. Everyone keeps saying well at least he didn’t get in a car accident and die immediately. Sometimes I think that might have been easier. They are not the ones watching their husbands die.
Lynda
Oh my god Sandy my heart is breaking for you.
You are probably asking how much can one person endure. I hope that the Doctor has given you some advice about how both you and your daughter can cope. You must be so scared. Can you get any help from Hospice? Or do they dump us after our spouses have passed? Can the Cancer Clinic send counselling to both you and your daughter? Do GM benefits pay for counselling?
Roger also worked for GM. I didn’t realize that they made them sign a waver.
I also am a daddy’s girl. I can’t imagine loosing Roger and my dad so close together. You must be going absolutely bonkers. How are your brothers? Do you have a good support system in your family? I never thought that my brothers had it in them, until this started with Roger. Now I realize how much my family loves me. I hope you have the same.
Lynda
I think that this would be a lovely way to honor your mothers life. Whoever doesn’t agree with you doesn’t have to show up.
Death affects different people in different ways.
I used to be one of those people that thought it was goulish to have a celebration of life. Thankfully I have changed. I used to feel that it was celebrating someones death, until I finally grew up and went to a ‘Celebration of Life” party. There were photos everywhere of my friends mom with all different people and time periods throughout her life. It was lovely listening to all of the memories that these photos brought back. They were playing her favorite kind of music and eating her favorite foods.
Now I understand what a ‘Celebration of Life’ party really is.
Have fun and remember all of the good and bad.
Lynda
Cindy, my god i am truly devestated by your story. i agree with the others. get a second and or third opinion.
my thoughts and prayers are with you
lyndaHi Sandy,
When Roger was diagnosed the doctor asked us if anyone else in his family had cancer and to the best of our knowledge, they don’t.
His next question was wether he worked with paints or plastic. Which he did for 30 years.
LyndaHi Missing You,
I am so very sorry for you loss.
I am extremely happy for you though that you were able to with your Dad through this.
It is very frightening how fast this disease spreads.
Thank you for your comforting words and thoughts.
LyndaHi Sandy,
I just can’t imagine what you’ve all been through. Were you scared when you first started to do his TPN? I am so afraid that I am physically going to hurt Roger by giving him needles and whatever else he is going to need.My husband turned 50 this past June. He had retired from GM one year ago July. He has always been as healthy as a horse. He is the strongest man that I know. He is one of those strong silent types. You know the type that you figure will always be around to protect you? I just knew that I never had to worry when he was home. He would never let anything happen to me.
Now it’s my turn to be strong for him.
We have three children. Roger Jr is 28, Shantel is 26 and Tawnie is 23. We have one grandchild Beau, he is 2 years old.
My heart goes out to your daughter. Every baby girl needs her dad. Hopefully with your support, her siblings, her friends and maybe councilling she will pull through this hard time. Please give her a large hug from me.
Lynda
Hi Terri, Ramble all you want my dear. You are definintely entitled. I love Ken’s website. We have dial up out here, and everything takes a while to download. Tomorrow I will look through your daughters’. Ken looked like he loved you all and his life very much. You must miss him alot. You shed as many tears as you need to. I did all through your letter and his website. I am so glad that you were blessed enough to be with him when he passed. I was with my husbands father, when he died, and you are probably going to think this is crazy, but it was the most beautiful thing in the world. I could see him slowly come to, he looked up, he looked down, and he looked from side to side, than he looked straight ahead and got a very peaceful smile on his face and passed over. Death is never easy, but to me, it seemed like he could see his angels come for him, and that was a very comforting thought for me.
My heart goes out to you.Hi Terry, Your thoughts hit extremely close to home for me. The first thing Roger said to me after the doctor told us the news was “Well at least I’ll be here for Christmas” He seems to be going down hill so fast, I just don’t know. My heart is absolutely breaking for him, he is on so much meds that he doesn’t seem to be aware, that he has lost over 26 pounds and almost all of his muscle tone. The least little bit of exertion makes him shake so much, I can’t watch anymore because I just want to cry and he says that if I cry, than I beleive the doctors when they say that he will die.
Hi Terry, What is a TPN bag? If he didn’t eat for three months, is TPN some kind of intravenous? I am very sorry to each and every one of us going through this. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We will take each and every one that is offered.
LyndaDear Marions, thank you so much. I am so sorry that your husband had to go thru also. But I thank you for your help. I will write down the meds and try the no fats rule on these days. Again thank you.
Thank you everyone. Does anyone know what to do about the nausea? The last few days have been absolute hell for Roger. Today he started vomitting. He started taking Stemetil yesterday, but so far it hasn’t helped. I’ve given him a glass of flat ginger ale, and offered him soda biscuits. Does anyone have any suggestions?
