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I was also following your blog and deeply sorry for your loss. This cancer is so unbelievably cruel and offers so little hope. I was really hoping that Lauren would be one of the exceptions.
Thinking of you and your family, Alla
Thank you, ladies, for your replies. What a beautiful story, Clare! Interesting, that most of our balloons got stuck in a trees above the grave and I was kind of upset about it. You gave me a different point of view, thank you!
Marion, I was thinking about this year Father’s day and was even tempted to avoid celebration, afraid it might hurt them more and if I don’t make a fuss about it – they might not even notice it…
Sadly, they pretty much ignored Mother’s day, so they will not notice father’s day if I don’t say anything. Not sure, kind of torn about it now!
Deane, I’m so sorry for your loss. I see that we are almost neighbours, so if you ever want to talk – please send me a private message. I lost my husband to cc back in October.
So great to read about such a great news! So happy for you (not the hospital part, of course). When my husband had treatments, he found that having half a bag of fluids right after chemo and then fluids about a week after made a huge difference and prevented dehydration. As well as sipping some water or tea during chemo. Hope it helps.
I’m in exactly the same situation. My husband had passed away mid october and last week of his life keeps replaying in my mind as well, especially his last day, as it was the most gruesome. Just last night saw a dream with him and he was sick in my dream as well. I had read that eventually memories will be of a happier times, as well as dreams about him, but it hadn’t so far. Please know that you are not alone.
It’s been 2.5 months since his passing and some days are better than others. It seems that I get better handle of situation and then phone call from some old friend or customer, who didn’t know about his passing and I fall apart again. But overall I think I’m handling it better than I expected. Sorry to talk about me, but my point is that many of us had similar thoughts and feelings, that are normal, and hopefully it will slowly improve for all of us! Sincerely, Alla
Looks like we are almost neighbours. Wanted to say welcome. My husband had CC and we went to Duke for second opinion – and Duke would be a lot closer to you. They might offer your mom some experimental trial, if she qualifies. Good luck!
So glad you were able to enjoy the restaurant and memories! Thinking of you.
Your story sounds very familiar, as my husband also had jaundice after diagnosis and they were able to put only one stent in and were not successful with the second. In his situation – once he started chemo – chemo actually took care of jaundice problem, which what doctors were hoping for. Don’t be alarmed that he stays yellow for a while. Do ask for copies of his tests and see how his bilirubin changes. If it is dropping each time – he is on the right track.
Hope it gets better!
Thank you, Eli. I didn’t even notice it!
Thank you, ladies. Unfortunately, we don’t have any family here. The only person I can think of, that my son can talk to – is my step-son. But that can be only by the phone. I’ll have my own therapy session in couple of weeks and will discuss both of my kids grieving situations – both have completely opposite reaction, but the ages are far apart too. I tried to give both kids special booklets from hospice about grieveing – age appropriate, my 6 year old read his, but not 15 y.o.
Pam – at the time of my husband’s cancer diagnosis, we did get closer with my older son and cried together, but later he also had some withdrawals. Once I told him in October that his dad’s time on Earth is almost over – we cried together again, but since his passing, my son has been trying to be with friends as much as he can and not talking to me about it at all.
At high school they do have guidance counselor that I’ve been in contact with throughout the sickness, but again he doesn’t want to talk about it with her as well.
Thanks for listening! Alla
Thank you all for good advices. Mary – did you resize just wedding ring or engagement ring as well? I’m thinking to do the same at some point…
Thank you, Lainy. I need to start recording it, but hadn’t so far. It seems with the rate it’s going I’ll “beat” your 55 visits soon! Lol. Just kidding… My 6 years old today told me that he saw his dad in a dream last night and that he wasn’t sick. I’ve read from others that often we still dream about them being sick and for me it’s been the case, except couple of times so far. I guess it’s because I still relieve those last few days in my memory and a lot of those memories are not easy. Thinking about it before bed probably influences my dreams…
Well, just had another “visit”. This time there is no logical explanation to it at all. My husband’s van suddenly started signaling – like a “panic” signal. Me and the boys were inside, absolutely nobody is next to the van. At first I thought it was my car and grabbed my keys on the way out. But get this – by the time I stopped next to his van to see if it’s unlocked (it was not – completely locked on both sides), it stopped beeping all by itself, but the front light was still blinking. Made absolutely no sense to me. I got his keys, unocked it, started the van (keep forgetting to periodically do that to avoid dead battery) and set there for a few minutes. Locked it again, come home and was telling it my 6 years old with a comment – “How is it possible?”, and he just simply answered – “It’s dad”. Earlier today I was telling my mom about all prior visits and she tried to justify it all with – “cat did it” or “cleaning lady did it”, which I can accept, except for when his night light was coming on almost every night, then stopped, then started again. Why wasn’t it happening this often before his passing? Plus every time it’s his night light, not mine. Well – with the car – I don’t know how is it physically possible, especially that it stopped beeping by itself, while light was still blinking. May be he was reminding me to start the car? Anyway – all of it making believer out of me for sure!
Sounds wonderful! Congratulations!!!