April 30, 2010 at 4:54 pm #33819lalupesSpectator
I love that poem!! Thank you, Tess.April 24, 2010 at 12:53 pm #33818kristinSpectator
Tess, what a lovely poem! I never heard that before. Thanks so much for posting that.
KristinApril 23, 2010 at 10:22 pm #33817kentuckyjackMember
So ” angry liver disease” may be another name for cc? I’ll have to research traditional Chinese medicine a bit and learn more. Very interesting!April 23, 2010 at 2:42 pm #33816tessMember
Hi Kristin … my thoughts are with you. I travelled the CC road hand in hand with my Dad. I am no stranger to the emotions of hate & anger towards this cancer, but I certainly understand your feelings.
Many a song will chant of the heart
But my fondness goes out to the liver
Not because itApril 22, 2010 at 7:02 pm #33815kristinSpectator
Just as an interesting side-note– in traditional Chinese medicine, the liver is the organ that is connected with the emotion of anger, and anger is considered to be damaging to the liver in that form of medicine.
KristinApril 22, 2010 at 3:20 am #33814mlepp0416Spectator
KentuckyJack: AWESOME words!!! I’m right up there with you on this one on behalf of my husband Tom who is fighting this evil-wicked-bad-and-nasty cancer.
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer
MargaretApril 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm #33813kentuckyjackMember
Anger is an emotion that has become politically incorrect. Anger often inspires fear in others who are sensitive, because it is an emotion that sometimes precedes and aggressive act, which is threatening to a person who is a potential object of that aggressive act.
Anger is related to, but different from hate. The truth is, I am in a very angry phase and hate my cancer at times. I have called it evil-wicked-bad-and-nasty names. I have self-censored (type, erase, type, erase, type erase, edit, re-write, etc.) as I began to post a few comments on this forum–but I’ll not always be able to do so. Oddly enough, I have also thanked God for this cancer, on faith that he is working his purpose with it. At one point, I even said “I love my cancer.” Changed my mind on that one.
I am also very angry with a very politically powerful and biased cancer medical establishment (AMA, FDA, Big Pharma) who holds our lives in their hands yet lies to us about the efficacy of nutritional supplementation, complementary and alternative treatments. My anger borders on outrage at times–but I try to control it within my posts.
Anger is also a motivator–an angry man will fight to survive. If you can maintain your anger, you will more likely continue in a fight. Sometimes you may have no logical reason to be angry, but if you can make yourself angry enough, you will fight. I intend to fight this cholangiocarcinoma for a while, and I need my anger to fight it.
If an unreasonable fear of offending another member prevents me from feeling comfortable posting on this site, then I cannot be a part of it. I fear many who would post on sites such as this are already intimidated to the point of non-participation.
I never have been accused of being blessed with an excess of tact or sensitivity, but I will keep self-censoring as best I can. However, if I can’t call cancer some very bad names on this site without hurting another cancer-fighter’s feelings, then what?
Kristin, God bless you and all of us in this battle with OUR enemy, cholangiocarcinoma. Let us all keep up the good fight, and with lovingkindness support all who fight our common enemy.April 21, 2010 at 1:45 am #33812linda-zSpectator
If you’re still here reading our news (and I hope so!) I would like to add something here, a little of my story too. For some reason I didn’t see your original post so forgive me for just seeing it now because of recent new posts to it…
When I was diagnosed, my doctor was even hesitant to say I had “cancer”. He just kept saying I had a “cancerous growth” which diminished it. It made me come away from the Dr. office not feeling too bad after all.
My surgeon was terrific and had a great bedside manner, explained that I did in fact have this cancer and he wanted to get it out. He however, was very optimistic (nothing really wrong with that), but didn’t explain the “severity” of the cancer and what my options were.
Because of this “up” attitude, it kept my spirits up, but didn’t allow me to learn more about this often unusual cancer. I have heard of people all the time having chemotherapy and surgery and beating cancer. What I didn’t realize was that what I had was different than that. My cancer returned.
When I finally found this site, because of the language here, it made me see what I had and what I needed to do….become more aggressive in learning all I can about CC and it’s treatments so I can actively fight it rather than just listen to my onc or surgeon who may only have limited knowledge. Without the more severe language (yes it’s bad, horrible, awful), I would have just gone on depending on the medical field to “do their job”, not knowing that that may not be enough.
I am very grateful to this site for the harshness with which they have referred to CC, and also the tenderness with which they have handled the tough situations. CC is what it is. I give your doctor a lot of credit for her toughness in wanting to help make you feel better. But breast cancer, ovarian cancer, etc. are all bad diseases. But they are also more treatable and curable than CC. I needed to know that to be more aggressive about my cancer. I was too trusting and ho-hum about it before it reoccurred.
As I said, I hope that you are still here for the other tremendous benefits of this site. AND you don’t have to go to the “down” areas.
Linda Z.April 19, 2010 at 12:41 pm #33811lainySpectator
Kathy, Valid points well taken and Marion is getting us in to the habit of labeling certain posts as “Sensitive” which gives one the choice to open or not. Brilliant, Marion!April 18, 2010 at 9:52 pm #33810kathybMember
I know this post is a few months old, but thank you for posting your feelings. I do understand where others are coming from and the need to say what they feel, but as a person with inoperable bile duct cancer who is doing great (diagnosed July 09), I firsthand understand what you are saying.
I so love what you said, “Yet it is what it is and all I can do is figure that I’m immortal until God decides He’s done with me here on earth.” I’d like to post that on my facebook page!
KathyDecember 30, 2009 at 5:05 am #33809amrSpectator
i agree with u kristin
“We both know you have a very bad disease, so we don’t have to talk about that. Let’s talk about how to help you feel better.”
very wonderful wordsDecember 20, 2009 at 6:14 am #33808valieMember
Lisa, I have never posted here before, but have been reading posts here for close to 2 years. My mom died 13 months ago from CC- she was 79. I just want you to know that you should never feel any guilt for being a survivor! I still come to this site regularly to see how all of the CC FIGHTERS are doing!! I am rooting for you all – and keeping you in my prayers.December 19, 2009 at 10:14 pm #33807lisaSpectator
I agree with Kristin for some of the same reasons.
I don’t go here every day because as a patient it is very distressing to see people come and post and then their loved one dies. I feel horrible about it and don’t know what to say. I feel a bit guilty for being a longer-term survivor who is still going strong. When I’ve had new doctors examine me in the emergency room they express their remorse over the fact that I have a “bad disease”. Yet it is what it is and all I can do is figure that I’m immortal until God decides He’s done with me here on earth.December 19, 2009 at 8:08 pm #33806marionsModerator
Janet….you said it so well and definitely, it was not too long.
Best to you,
MarionDecember 19, 2009 at 1:56 pm #33805lainySpectator
You are right, Janet. We do have those categories already.
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