Anthony died on 30th July in a London Hospice

Hi Everyone,

Pauline, I am glad the memorial went well and am sure it gave you some comfort to do this now at a time when all those memories are closing in. I am thinking of you as we both go through the events of the last weeks. It is all still so hard to believe it all happened and now it has been almost a year.

Cyndi, I think we can all relate to what you are feeling. After what we have all been through, nothing else seems to matter much, does it? We just keep on going taking one day at a time. I have to agree that although I would have wanted more time with Jim I am glad that he did not suffer long or needlessly. How is your friend doing?

Janet, I hope your Mom starts to improve soon. I know what it is like as I am dealing with my Dad’s health problems and the toll it is taking on my Mom. I am glad you are getting some relief through the massages & swimming during your long winter months. I went to dinner with my daugther-in-law Saturday night and to an Art Festival on Sunday. It does help to fill the hours & keep busy, especially on the weekends. We are actually having some nice summer weather for a change, but it is still unseasonable cool, especially in the evenings. The swine flu is hitting here too, especially in Wisconsin. We have actually had several deaths (6 I believe) so far, related to it. My brother-in-law just got over a few days of being very ill & thought it may have been the flu. They now are thinking it was effects of severe migrane.

Sue, It sounds like Sam”s graduation was lovely and I know Ray was there in spirit & so very proud too.

Joyce, I’m glad you had a nice time in the Adirondecks. I too understand that lonely feeling of having to come home to an empty house. No matter where you go or what you do in the end you are still alone. It is all so sad & lonely, isn’t it?

Patty and everyone else here, I hope things are going OK for all of you. Keep in touch. We can all get through this, together, one day at a time.

Love & Hugs To All,
Darla

Dear people,
I hope you are all hanging in there.Sue,I hope the graduation went well and you got some nice photos-the holiday sounded terrific as did Joyces break in the mountains.Congratulations,Pauline on organizing the memorial,it must have given you a few worries beforehand.I hope everone is enjoying summer and Darla you are getting some breaks away from the shop.
I have had to put the work aside lately as my mother had a knee op and then developed some heart problems so I have been up and down from Sydney constantly.I cant say Im that keen to work at the hospital with all
the swine flu cases-we are in the peak of flu season here-midwinter.
Im still having a regular chinese massage which is helping and trying to swim twice per week at a heated pool,not as good as the ocean pools but they are pretty cold this time of year.What type of cats are they,Cyndi?
Take care folks love from Janet

Hello Everyone,

I am back from the Adirondacks – had a wonderful time with my family, but coming home today was very difficult – home to an empty house (Flash was next door with my neighbor). That did bring out the tears, but – it is the way it is now, and I can’t change it, so – I will keep moving forward. We talked about Butch a lot this week, and the kids bring him up often – he was with us in spirit, I know, as you say Sue. I’m glad you had a good time visiting with Sam, and I hope the graduation is a happy time, also.

Back to work Monday – tomorrow is mow the lawn day, etc. Got to catch up now that I am home. Lots of rain here this summer, and much cooler weather than usual. I hope you are all doing OK, and I think of you often.
Pauline, I am especially thinking of you as you move through these next few weeks.

Love – joyce

Dear Sue,

I’m glad you and Sam enjoyed your holiday in Vegas and also the time spent together. I am sure it was comforting to both of you. We do need these diversions and also the time to talk about the past and our memories. The hard part is coming home alone, then the reality sets in again. It is still all so hard, isn’t it. At times things seem to be going OK & you think you are coping and then some small thing will bring it all back along with the sadness & tears.

I will be thinking of you & Sam on Wednesday and I know that Ray will be there in spirit as was Jim last November when Pat got his Masters Degree. We really felt his presence and know that he was proud of his accomplishments.

Take care Sue. As you said, we will all get through this some how, together.

Love,
Darla

Hello Friends,
Thank you all for your good wishes for my holiday, we got home yesterday morning from Vegas so am a bit jet lagged, had a great time with Sam but not looking forward to the credit card bill coming in!
Las Vegas was not at all what we expected, the big hotels were really fantastic, I suppose there were some seedy places downtown but we kept away from them and had a great time. The two cirque de soleil shows we saw were amazing but at $90 a seat were pretty expensive. We also went to the Grand Canyon which was so impressive, but we kept well away from the edge of the Canyon – I couldn’t believe how close some people got to the edge for their pictures taking, one girl sat right on the edge and dangled her feet over!
It was also lovely to spend so much time with Sam – we did all the girly things, but the holiday was tinged with sadness as we both realised the only reason we were taking the holiday there was because Ray was no longer with us.
It was hard yesterday night after Sam and her boyfriend dropped me off home – it was very quiet and the house seemed very empty, I must admit being tired didnt help and I had a few tears before I took myself off to bed.
I know everyone is feeling sad too just now. You get more used to being on your own as time goes by, and it gets a little easier, but I have found that the tears are only just under the surface, and tend to pop out at the least thing, and quite frequently just lately – perhaps it is all part of the healing process? Darla, perhaps the bad memories are coming to you now for the same reason?
Pauline, I hope you are eating better and looking after yourself – try to build yourself up a little – Have you finalised your plans for the memorial for Anthony? Try to remember the things he did which made you smile on the 30th.
Patty, the best advise I can give you for Vegas is to take a good comfy pair of shoes! We walked for miles! The hotels are so big that the first time we tried to get out from our room onto the strip it took us 45 minutes and we had to ask for directions in the end! As for what to do there – we just wandered around the hotels, we stayed in Planet Hollywood which is quite central and has a shopping mall underneath it with some quite reasonable restaurants. (Also if you go to the information desk there they will give you some vouchers for shows and restaurants etc). The hotels not to be missed are the Bellagio for the fountains (you must do their Champagne brunch on Saturday or Sunday), the Paris , Caesars Palace, MGM for the lions, the Venetian and we went to see the dolphins and white tigers at the Mirage which were great. You must see at least one Cirque show, we did Mystere and Ka and both were amazing. There are quite a few half price ticket booths where you can get show tickets for that day. I couldnt really advise what to do at night as we were in bed by 10 most nights! But if you like a cocktail do get one from Fat Tuesdays – but dont be deceived – they are quite strong!
I am sure you will have a great time – I wish I was 40 again!
Joyce – we saw your wedding chapel! I was looking out for it as my hairdresser also got married there. We saw quite a few weddings while we were there and they were really beautiful. The temperature while we were there was about 108 – coming from wet England we had never experienced heat like that before.
The time with Sam was special, Janet, it gave us time to talk about Ray, Sam is missing her dad badly at the moment, as are Rays two other girls, and it does help to talk.
Sams graduation is at York University on Weds this week so I am trying to lose the extra pounds I put on during the holiday so I can get back into my “posh frock”. It will be a hard day for Sam but I am sure that Ray will be there for her in spirit.
Anyway, I must get back to reality now and get down to some work, although I have planned a holiday in September with my Mum – I dont know about you but it really helps me to have things to work towards and to look forward to – it helps you get through the days one at a time if you can plan for something.
My thoughts are with you all just now – we can do it together!
Love Sue x

Darla,

I’ve meant to ask you where in Wisconsin do you live? I’ve been hoping to take mom to Holy Hill within these next weeks. So beautiful there. I’ve a good friend whose parents live in Cedar Grove and my husband graduated from high school in Neenah, went on to graduate from UofWMadison after a year at Stephen’s Point. We are planning a return visit for our anniversary at his beloved Door County.

It’s strange having the ability to plan for different things…as with all of you, a year ago today, I considered a quick trip to the grocery store as an exotic retreat. I think of you all especially now, as we face our one year anniversary.

Peace,
Jolene