Anthony died on 30th July in a London Hospice
- This topic has 569 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 12 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hi Everyone,
I have to agree. All these first are so hard to deal with. Several of us are getting closer to the one year and it seems to bring back everything that happened. Right about now is when Jim had his first symptoms and started going into the ER. Less than 2 months later he was gone. I too can not believe it has been almost a year already. Trying to keep busy is all that is getting me by. When I slow down is when I start thinking about everything and it is all so sad.
I really haven’t got anything much planned as it is hard to get away right now with trying to keep the shop going & also all the health issues with my parents. I have been doing 1 day trips now & again. Went to “Bastille Days” Festival in Milwaukee for the day with my daughter-in-law today which was nice. The weather actually cooperated. My son & daughter-in-law and I are also thinking about going to Las Vegas. Possibly in the Fall. We were also talking about New Orleans. We’ll just wait & see how things go.
Patty, 40 is easy, 50 is harder and for me 60 was devastating, more so because it was only 2 days after Jim passed on. Anyway, enjoy your trip & I hope you have a Happy 40th!
Joyce, I hope you have a nice time with your family in the Adirondacks. I think it is just beautiful there and so peaceful.
Cyndi, Haven’t heard from you lately. I hope you are doing OK.
So here we are heading into another weekend. Hopefully we will all have things to keep us occupied and busy. Everyone take care. I am thinking of you all and hoping that everyone is doing OK.
Take care.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaPauline and Patty,
I know how hard this time of year is – for all of us, I guess. We are into that part of the year when things went bad last year, and I guess there is nothing much we can do but get through as best we can. It has been 9 months today for me, and the next three months will be very hard.Sue – I hope you enjoyed Vegas. Butch and I were married in Vegas – in 1995 – in the wedding chapel on the Strip – across from Circus Circus – the craziest thing I have ever done! (Not marrying Butch – flying to Vegas to do it, I mean)!
I am wishing you all peace, and send love – Joyce
Pauline,
I know what you mean about every day bringing up a sad memory. My mom was holding on last summer so she could meet her newest grandchild and she reached that goal but he was one year old last week and she should have been here for that and it made me sad and it also means that soon it will be one year that she is gone and her birthday was in August as well so it will be a hard month.
Patty
Hello everyone,
Well, I’ve been keeping very busy since the Barcelona conference. It is July, a hard month for me. Anthony was in his last month a year ago and all the pain and trauma was happening. Every day there is another sad memory and I remember it all so clearly. Today a year ago Anthony had an ERCP to replace a stent and was really unwell afterwards. It is almost unbelievable that all this was a year ago and it makes me feel that I have been in a kind of daze all this time. I still just keep busy with work and try not to stop too much.
I hope you are all ok. I hope you enjoyed your holiday and Sam’s graduation, Sue. I hope you have a lovely time on your trip too, Joyce. How are you, Darla? Do you have any trips planned? I know this is such a hard time for you too. I hope things are ok with you too, Janet. That sounds exciting, Patty and, in any case, 40 is very young!
I am thinking of you all. I suppose we just have to keep on going, don’t we?
Take care everyone
With love
PaulineHey Sue,
It just so happens I just booked a trip to Vegas to celebrate the big 4-Oh-No with some girlfriends, hope you had a great time and you’ll have to let me know what is not to be missed.
Patty
Hello to all my friends,
I am getting ready to go out and mow before “Antiques roadshow” comes on, but wanted to say “HI”. It is busy this time of year – the “Grands” have softball, and keepng up with the outside work is strenuous, but I am glad – keeps me busy, and I like to be busy – otherwise, I would just sit and think, and that is not a good thing! On Jult 11, I leave for the Adirondacks for a week – rented a cabin on Long Lake for my daughter’s family and myself – I am so looking forward to it – I am hoping it will be good for all of us.
Sue – good luck in Vegas – I haven’t been there in a couple of years – last time I was there – it was 118 degrees – a bit warm, I would say!
Lots of rain so far this summer – almost every day. Everything is lush and green because of it, and we need to mow a lot!
Love – Joyce
Hi Everyone,
Well, now we start another new week. I hope everyone made it through the weekend as best possilbe.
Pauline, I can’t wait to hear more from you & Marion about the conference. I like you am going through the one year ago memories. I know that the next months will probably not be easy for either of us, but knowing we are not alone sure does help.
Janet, The massage sounds good to me too. I think we do need to do things for ourselves now & again. Glad to hear that your Mum is doing good in rehab.
Joyce, Glad you are happy with your “new” hair. It does seem that your job, home & yard keep you busy, which is a good thing. It sounds as if you are in the same mode as Pauline & I, remembering where things were at a year ago. It is all so hard and so sad, but what are we to do?
Sue, I am sure you are having a great time in Las Vegas. Looking forward to hearing about it & the graduation, too. I am sure your Mum will do fine with her surgery. She sounds to be in good shape for her age.
As with Sue, my thoughts & prayers are with all on these boards, so now we all need to put on our brave faces & carry on. Hoping everyone has as good a week as possible.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi All,
How are you doing? I haven’t posted for a while, as I have been working very hard to get all my paperwork up to date before I go on holiday with Sam to Las Vegas on Saturday.
We are both looking forward to the break, and to spend some time together.
Sam and I found it pretty hard last Sunday, which was our Father’s Day – I managed to get his headstone put up in time and it looks quite beautiful. In a way that is the last thing I had to do for him so I know I have now done my best for him. Unfortunately I think when we get to the US it is Fathers day again on the Sunday! But at least we are in a different place.
We chose Las Vegas as it was one place Ray always wanted to go to and there should be plenty of things for us to do there. We hope to go to the Grand Canyon while we are there. Sam is really excited and I am looking forward to some quality time with her. It is her graduation on the Wednesday when we get back, I am hoping her sisters can be there too for her if they can get the time off work, as it was the thing Ray was trying to live long enough to see, so I am expecting a few tears.
Joyce I hope your hair looks good – we call it “highlights” – I think I prefer that to “frosting” – I thought that was what you put on cakes! We have to still make an effort dont we? Well done on taking on your huge lawn!
Pauline, not sure whether you will be able to pick this up until you get home, but I hope you and Marion can find some time to do some sightseeing while you are in Barcelona. It was lovely meeting you for lunch and it is so nice you and Marion got to meet in this positive way. Good look for your memorial – remember to laugh as well as cry with all your friends and family.
Darla, hope you are keeping cheerful and things are going well for you just now.
Janet, the massage sounds so good, I think I will have to book one for my stiff neck! I hope your mum is feeling better – one thing about our Mums – they are tough old sticks! My mum is now 86 and will be going into hospital for a prolapse operation this summer, so she will be staying with me for 2-3 weeks after. She will probably drive me nuts and me her, but I love her to bits and feel so blessed to have both my daughter and mother here for me – I feel like the middle of a sandwich if you know what I mean, protected frrom both sides. My Mum thinks she is still 16 and is bright as a button, God willing she will stay that way for many years yet.
To anyone else reading this who I may have left out, my prayers are with everyone here.
So I will now put on a brave face and finish my packing!
Lots of love to you all,
Sue xHello everybody,
Yes, pauline – we will all be with you and Marion in spirit – I am so glad you are doing this – It will give you a good feeling, I am sure – to be able to do anything at all to help the cause will give you such a lift.
I know this is a bad time – for you and for Darla. Last year at this time, Butch and I were waiting to go to Pittsburgh – he was operated on July 16. He never recovered from that surgery, and it was stright downhill from there till October. At this time, last year, he was feeling pretty good, also – we played golf the day befroe we left for Pittsburgh – he wasn’t great, but he was up and moving – even painted the shed!!! God love him, when I look back, he was doing a lot around the house – I think he was worried about being able to do it for me, and tried to get some things ready – I didn’t see it then. One day he got up on the roof and cleaned the gutters – i was mad at him, as he really wasn’t well, but he insisted. Yes, I think maybe he knew – I just didn’t. Well – thinking in this pattern isn’t going to get me anywhere except sad, so I better stop it.Hope you all are well, and that you are hanging in here – I just mowed the “north 40” tonight – way up back, beyond our woods – he always mowed the clearing, so I have too! Gives me something to do, and I get my exercise!
Love – Joyce
Dear Pauline,
I will be thinking of you & Marion in Barcelona & I know you will be able to do some good. I am sure everyone appreciates the effort you are making to bring more awarness to the needs of those dealing with CC.
I know what you are going through and how you are feeling, as I am doing the same. There is nothing to be done about it, and it won’t change anything, but I guess it is just part of the process that we need to go through. I am hoping that the memorial you are planning will give you some peace, comfort & closure.
Good luck to you at the conference. I will be there with you in heart & spirit.
Hi to everyone else here too. Hope everyone is doing OK. Take care.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear everyone,
I hope you are all ok. I have been keeping very busy with work and am going to Barcelona this evening for the conference with Marion. I just hope I am able to be of some use and that some delegates will listen to us and realise that so much more should be done for patients with cc. I’ll let you know how we get on.
I am still going through all the one year ago memories. It is very hard and I don’t know where the year has gone. Last Friday was a year since we had been to see the hepatologist at out patients and she had commented on how well Anthony looked and how well he was doing – no problems on his bloods etc. It’s so hard to believe that he died only 6 weeks later. We were still so positive about things and were making plans to spend a few months in Italy after Anthony’s next round of treatment. I still wonder about what went wrong and what might have been, even though I know it gets me nowhere.
I am planning a memorial for Anthony for 19th August and will think about organising that over the next few weeks. It will be so sad but I need to do it.
How are you, Sue? It was really good to meet up! I hope you are ok Darla. I know it is a difficult time for you too as you come up to the point where Jim started to get ill. I am thinking of you all as always. Take care all of you!
Love
PaulineDear people
Joyce I hope the hair looks good,I think we have another name for the frosting.I had my eyelashes tinted today as I have no colour in them but I am a lucky woman with the hair and am a redhead with no grey.
I have also had and benefited from a chinese acupressure massage-I had a terrible neck problem,I could hardly move my head and the massage has helped a lot.
My mum has moved to a rehab hospital after her knee op.I was just happy she came through it ok-remember I have done all the jobs over the last 30 years. ie]nursing jobs
I wish you all well,I have been pretty b**** awful lately myself but am trying to regain a bit of function.
Funerals are strange times,arent they really-they are just a big chunk of life
love from JanetI’m a brunette, and she stripped selected hairs and made it blonde – she puts this steel cap woth holes all over on my head, and pulls thru the hairs she selects to make blonde. So – instead of making me blonde all over – I got a a “frost” job (it hides the fact that I am greying, which is just starting) – I like it better than doing the whole thing.
Joyce
Janet – I am glad to hear the conjunctivitis is getting better – that is nasty stuff . I hope you are beating the blues back – I know it is hard, we just have to keep trying. I think we are all still up and down – I just always hope that the “ups” last longer and longer. I am glad you are back at work – I hope it helps you to mend a bit?
Darla – I DO like the frost job on my hair – it looks nice, I think. I know what you mean – we miss them every day, and the lonely spot is always there, but we have to keep on the path ahead of us, whereever the heck that is taking us!
Sue and Pauline – we are envious, and want for all of us to meet for coffee! Wouldn’t that be great? Well – maybe cyber coffee!
Cyndi – I give you a lot of credit for speaking at the service – it was all I could do to say a couple of sentences that Butch had asked me to convey – I almost didn’t get that out! As for that knee surgery – we might as well face it – we will all probably have to get it done someday! My Mom had both knees done, (she is 82 now) and now my Dad is on his 2nd knee – it seems to go with aging.
Anyway – I am off to bed – rainy night, should be good sleepiong.
Love – Joyce
- The forum ‘Grief Management’ is closed to new topics and replies.