Anthony died on 30th July in a London Hospice
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Dear all,
Yes Janet, life is so full of sadness really isn’t it with terrible things happening all the time? I suppose we’re all so much more sensitive to the suffering of others now as we understand how they feel and know how life can change for ever in a short space of time. I hope you hear from you Italian family, Patty. Perhaps you will visit them one day and call in on me while you’re in Italy!
I am thinking of you all. I hope you are ok, Darla and that you will have a pleasant Easter with reasonable weather. I hope you have a really good time, Sue. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, Joyce when you reach that very difficult 6 month anniversary since Butch died. I hope you will find some way of marking this which is helpful to you. Take your time regarding work, Janet. Could they ease you back in some how? It can be useful to take your mind off things but it can also be very hard to concentrate as fully as you need to at first.
It seems like another life now, doesn’t it, since they were here with us? The problem is that I still want my husband and our old life back so much it hurts all the time and I still think of him and all the things that happened constantly. I still can’t believe it really and part of me is still waiting for him to come back. I dreamed that he came walking towards me the other night and we sat on the sofa together. I was trying to change the channel on the tv and couldn’t do it so Anthony suggested I stand up and try changing it from the set. I replied that I didn’t want to do that in case he left me again once I stood up. It was a lovely dream – so normal- that it made me feel happy when I woke up.
I seem pretty normal to people now, I think, but what they don’t know is that I feel no better inside and still feel so desperately lonely without my Anthony.
Well, there is no answer to this and we all know how it feels so I will stop depressing you and go to bed and try to read. I have a book about someone who lost her husband and, because of the topic, I find it is possible to read it. Other than this, I still can’t concentrate on novels.
Take care everyone!
Love
Pauline xxDear Friends,
Thanks for your good wishes for my holiday, I am looking forward to it now I have got most of my office paperwork out of the way!
Pauline, I have been reading in the newspapers about the sad loss of life in Italy, I expect that Easter time will be patricularly poignant this year over there. I hope you can still enjoy the rest of your holiday and re-charge your batteries.
Janet, dont rush back to work before you are ready, especially in such a demanding job as you have. With regards to buying a new car, from experience I would recommend you to beg, borrow or steal a man for the day when you go looking for a new car, from experience (and to quote the hillarious title of Patty’s book) I think if there are any lemons going, the first place car salesmen will try to palm them off is to a woman alone – your male companion may know nothing about cars and you know everything but it happens all the same!
Darla, Joyce, and everyone else, keep well and try to enjoy Easter, and Iwill catch up with you when I get back home!
Lots of love,
Sue xDear people
What extraordinary events over the last week.The earthquake was so unexpected although apparently warned about.Joyce,what a terrible drama for your grandaughter to be involved in.We had our natural disaster earlier this year with bushfires.
Thankyou Patty for the advice with the car books.I am in a spot with it as I really do need another car urgently.
I am thinking of going back to work soon.This is is a big deal for me as I am a registered nurse working in acute care and I feel I need to have to be on the ball(or whatever the expression)so I do hesitate because as people know I have a son with bipolar who has been a bit manic lately.
Have agreat holiday Sue
JanetDear Patty,
I’m sorry for the delay in replying but the internet crshed over here and I have only just got the connection again. I have looked on the tv for any mention of the area around Sulmona and have also asked my neighbours here. The earthquake seems to have affected quite a small area of about 6 km around L’Alquila and your family’s area looks like it’s further south than this so, hopefully, they are not affected.
I hope this is of some use. Sorry I can’t be more specific.
Take care
PaulinePauline,
The town is Scontrone, I believe it is south of where the earthquake was centered, it is near Alfedena and I think the nearest large town is Sulmona. It was my great grandparents who came over and we do not communicate with anyone there but I am sure I have cousins there.
Patty
Dear Patty,
Do let me know the name of the town if you have it. News of the earthquake is on all the time here so I may be able to find out something for you. It all looks pretty dreadful with lots of lives lost, more injured and many houses destroyed. Life is just very sad, isn’t it?
Take care
Love
PaulinePatty,
Thanks for all the helpful suggestions. What town in the Abruzzo area was your Mother’s family from? If you google it with earthquake, you may be able to find something out, or possibly Pauline would know something.
I would love to have you & Barbara come up to see me. I think it is about 2 1/2 hours depending where you are at.
I hope everyone did OK this weekend. The snow we were supposed to get never developed so I was pleased with that, although it is still cold for this time of the year.
Everyone take care & try to have a good week.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaI woke up this morning to the news of the earthquake, my mother’s family came over from Italy and they were from Abruzzo, have been trying to find information on the Internet to see if the small town they came from was affected, I have been thinking of making a trip there this summer, my mom went once and always wanted to go back. Pauline, I hope you enjoy your trip with your family.
Joyce, I am sorry your granddaughter had to go through such a horrible experience, I remember my biggest worry in school was trying to pass calculus and look at what kids have to worry about at school today.
Darla, Barbara and I are going to drive up one of these days to see you, how far from Chicago are you?
Sue, that’s great you were able to sell the stuff, Ray would not only be pleased but also proud of you handling everything on your own.
Janet, I am a librarian and funnily enough I also have my share of car troubles. Maybe that’s because I drive a 17 year old car, people tell me to get a new one but even with all its problems it has always started every day in winter for me and that counts for something in Chicago. Anyhow, what I was going to recommend as the resident librarian is that there are books written about car care and car buying for women, just ask at your local library. Of course there are many not written specifically for women, here are some useful titles:
What’s Wrong with My Car? A Quick and Easy Guide to the Most Common Symptoms of Car Trouble, by Bob Cerullo
Don’t Get Stuck With a Lemon: The Smart Way to Buy a Used Car, by Bob Cerullo
I have looked at the first one and it was useful to me in terms of trying to describe the problem to the mechanic. While books cannot solve every problem, I find they make me feel more capable of handling problems.
Patty
Dear all,
Yes, I am here again in Italy and there is a lot of sadness because there has been an earthquake in Abruzzo, a few hundred kilometres south of here. People have been killed and injured while sleeping and lots have lost their homes – very frightening and very sad.
I am glad to hear from you all and to find that you are all carrying on and getting through the challenges that life throws at us constantly. I am just here for a holiday this time and my step daughter, son in law and grandchildren are joining me on Thursday for 5 days which should be really nice, although tinged with sadness as well, because it is the first time we’ve all been here together without Anthony. I’m sure there will be some tears! The world is so quiet and empty without him. I have been dreaming about him a few times lately, which has been lovely and helps me a lot, especially when I see his face so clearly, as though he is really here.
The weather here is beautiful spring weather and I am hoping it will stay like this for the Easter weekend so that we can enjoy the outdoors a little. Walking is so beautiful around here! I hope you will have a lovely holiday, Sue. I hope you will meet some interesting people and see some beautiful places, as well as making some lovely food.
Take care all of you. Thinking of you,
PaulineHi Sue,
I agree, those shootings happening so close to Joyce & her family must have been very frightening. I guess no one is truely safe anywhere any more.
I think you are right. It does feel as if there is a little light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure we all have our ups & downs and everything is just below the surface as it never really goes away, but slowly we need to find a way to cope & live with what has happened. And yes, it is still so hard.
I am glad that you had a good week and managed to sell the trailer & caravan. I’m sure Ray is proud of you for being able to accomplish that.
I am sure your holiday will be a great adventure. It is a little scary doing things you haven’t done before, but I am sure it will be just fine and as you said, a good experience. I hope you have a really enjoyable time.
My Love To Everyone,
Darla
Hi Everyone,
Joyce, just read your post what an awful experience for your grandaughter and her mum, they must have been so frightened. Its true, you dont know what the world is coming to when something like that happens in a quiet community. It just shows us how careful and vigilant we should all be.
Pauline, hope you have a good timein Italy, I know you have some good friends out there, I hope the break does you good.
Janet, you will have read about all the things that kept going wrong, especially just after our husbands died. Some pretty wierd things happened with electrical items and lights, and vehicles were, and to some extent continue to be a nightmare. However, you will find that if you deal with one item at a time, and take advantage of friends offers to help, it gets a little easier over time.
Darla, Glad to hear you are coping a little better with time, its still hard, isn’t it but not quite as hard as in the beginning, I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel now.
I have had quite a good week, I have managed to sell both the trailer and the caravan, the latter to a nice retired couple who will enjoy it and look afetr it. Ray would have been pleased. So I am really glad that all the big items have now been sold. I can look forward to my holiday next week. I am a little scared, but I am sure it will be a good experience.
Lots of love to you all.
Sue
xxHello Everybody
Janet – I, too have had my challenges with cars – I did sell Butch’s old Corolla a few months ago – it was a 1996 and had 160,000 miles on it. It was a big decision to but the hubrid, but my car wasstart to leak oil, etc. so I made the decision. I am glad, as now it is all under warrantee, and I don’t have to be concerned about money for repairs, etc. It does seem like these challenges come up all the time, doesn’t it? I have someone coming today to see about a plugged drain in the laundry room. I also have a man coming to do the carpets today, in advance of Easter. I think it might be today that the bug man is coming to spray also. I am Busy with Spring tasks, and it helps to keep me busy.Actually, I started my weekend a bit early, also – took the day off yesterday! I finished my taxes and sent them electronically – I am so glad that is done. The day before was beautiful – 72 degrees again, however yesterday was rainy with some thunderstorms. Today isn’t looking so good, either.
Perhaps you heard the news yesterday – about the shooting in the Civic center in Binghamton (it was all over the news)? Well – Binghamton, where it happened – is the sister city to Endicott – actually , they call us the triple cities, because of Johnson City. My daugher lives there, and my Granddaughter Alexandria goes to the school they were talking about they locked down. While my Daughter was talking to her on the phone, the soldiers entered the cafeteria, and my poor Granddaughter was scatred silly (she is 14 and a freshman). We had a very scary few hours, I can tell you, until they got her safely home. This is a very small, safe community, and it is unimaginable that this has happened here. I think we are all in shock, and those poor people – who just came here to try to have a better life for themselves. What is happening to our world?
Pauline – are you in Italy on business or pleasure? In any case, enjoy Italy.
Everyone – take care, and – don’t let life get you any more down. I always try to think that we have gone through the worst – these things are just bumps in the road compared to that.
Love and cyber hugs,
joyce
Dear Janet,
As you have probably read in some of our earlier posts, we all experienced problems with vehicles at one point, so you again are not alone. It is so interesting that we are all going through basically the same cycles. We also have 2 vehicles that we shared & the older one, that we used basically just for doing shows etc. and was in good running condition just decided not to keep running now. I had planned to try to give it to one of the boys or try to sell it, but have finally decided to just let it sit for now as I like you seem to have a problem with thinking things through & making decisions. It is getting a little better, but it is still a challenge to focus on anything & get things done. Since I am alone I really only need the one vehicle and I do have room to park it indoors.
All of these decisions are so much harder to handle now, aren’t they. I know you can do it though, as we now have no choice but to deal with these things & go on.
I will be thinking of you Janet and wishing you luck at sorting out this new challenge. It is always something, isn’t it?
Sue & Joyce, I also know how much meaning those items you have found have for you, especially now and am so happy for you.
Pauline, I will be thinking of you in Italy.
Everyone take care and have as good a weekend as possible.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear all I have had a tough week on the car front-a blown head gasket and aparently not worth fixing as the car is too old etc.We had 2 cars but they were neither his or hers but just shared ones.One station wagon,one small runaround type car.Myounger son is in the middle of learning to drive and my husband,other son and I shared the cars.Now I dont know what to do and I dont like having to make decisions at this timeIt feels like some huge challenge.
I hope you all have a good weekend.I start my weekend a bit earlier
love from JanetDear all,
Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while. I have been working really hard, keeping very busy and when I did try to post the web site crashed!
I wanted to say to Janet that you must do what feels right for you and not worry about others. They will or should understand and there are no right or wrong answers regarding what to attend and what not to attend etc. I will be thinking of you tomorrow on Joel’s birthday and hope you will find the right thing to do that suits you.
Darla, you know I will be thinking of you too tomorrow as you reach 7 months since Jim died.
Sue, I am so pleased about the bracelet and the phone call. I completely understand how much these sorts of things mean to us. I am so pleased abou the the ring as well Joyce. I know how much you will treasure it.
Take care all of you. I am off to Italy again on Saturday and will be in touch from there.
Love
Pauline
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