Anthony died on 30th July in a London Hospice
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Dear Janet,
I am thinking of you on Joel’s anniversary. This has been such a difficult time for you and it must be made even harder by the fact that it is around the Christmas and New Year time, which is hard enough anyway!
You are incredibly strong but you have the right to let go a bit sometimes. Go easy on your self and stop worrying about everyone else for a few days!
Take care!
Love
PaulineJanet,
Great attitude! It sure is complicated, isn’t it? I think you are a superwomen and you do deserve to be self indulgent at times to keep your sanity. You are lucky to be near the beach. Go often and relax & be comforted by it. Take care Janet. Thinking of you.
More Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi all of you,
I havent really connected for a while and that is because I have gone through a sticky patch,this 1 year anniversary thing tied up with the xmas thing!I have survived it in my own way,things are always tricky here with the boys and their issues(all the mental health stuff etc)Sadly,it has an impact if I am too self indulgent.I need to be a superwoman which I am most of the time!
Luckily I live near the beach JanetHope you are all doing well
Dear Janet,
I too am thinking of you and know how you are feeling. None of this is easy, but you have made it this far and I know you are strong enough to get through this too. We are all here for you as you have been for all of us.
Yes, you are a survivor.
Take care and keep in touch.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaYes Janet, it is very hard and I feel so sorry for you going through the memories of all those awful days again. All I can say is that I am thinking of you and understand your pain. Perhaps you will feel a certain relief after 16th when you know Joel’s suffering ended.
You have been amazing all year and still are! I hope you will get lots of support at this time. Ask for help if people aren’t forthcoming! I think I should have done, although I know it’s not easy.
Keep in touch! You are a great survivor!
Love
PaulineWe know, Janet – this is so difficult for you now. It is so raw when that anniversary approaches. Once it was over, it did get better, though – not so many flashbacks, etc. Just hang in there, and go day by day. We are all thinking of you.
Love – Joyce
Hello everyone
I did survive the xmas and new year.I am now in very strange territory,Joels last weeks-he died on the 16th.I now remember each day last year,what happened,what we did etc.Joel was at home almost all of the time but went to a hospice for the last couple of days.I couldnt keep up with how quickly he was going downhill.
I remember I threw up in the front yard as he was being put in the ambulance.it was so stressful,it is making me cry as I remember and so hard for the boys,Al sobbing on his bed and the ambulance officers in tears.
My family all rushed down from Sydney and that made the boys feel better,we were supported.But when I think back ,well when I think back it still feels a little raw,all of it.
I have survived though JanetHi All, Just to wish everyone a better year than last year. I am sure things will slowly get better for us. Just kep living one day at a time.
Love Sue xHi everyone,
Just to let you know I am thinking of you all. I am planning an early night tonight in the hope I can sleep through the new year bit!
Wishing you all some better days in 2010.
With love,
PaulineHi Everyone,
I too am relieved that it is all over for another year. I had my good times & bad, which seems to be the norm for all of us here right now. The holidays and special times do seem to make it all more real and I begin to feel more lost & lonely. I agree, Pauline, this year did seem even worse than last. The reality of it all seems to be hitting harder. Hopefully as we get back into a normal routine (whatever that is) things will improve some. I also am going to make an effort in the new year to keep in touch with people and to get out & do more.
Take care everone. I am hoping for the best for all of us in the new year.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaWell everyone, it’s over and I’m sure we all feel a little relieved at that. Looking back, I think I have been at a very low ebb all this month and things just got worse and worse until, on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, I really didn’t know what to do with myself. It was only on Boxing Day evening, when I cried all the way home in my car after seeing my family, that I realised how bad I was but, after the tears, came a slight sense of relief that it was all over.
I have found this Christmas every bit as bad as last, if not worse, as you have too, Joyce. I feel the need to really think it all through for next year rather than just try to ignore it until the last few days, as I have tended to do this year. It almost frightens me to think of going through that again.
Anyway, I think I have been sinking very badly but am now trying to keep afloat again and have been keeping busy with house work and school work as well as making an effort to keep in touch with people.
Take care everyone! It’s just the new year hurdle now! I’m sure we can manage that one!
With love,
Pauline xxWell,I am finishing my xmas day,about to go to bed.We have done ok and I think I made the right choices about how to spend it but I do feel incredibly exhausted and I think that reflects what an effort its all been and worrying about the boys too.So best wishes to all of you and I hope your day is enjoyable.It rained all day here so I am glad we didnt plan a barbeque.
love from JanetHello to all,
I agree – the holiday season is difficult this year also. My daughter and I were talking and said we may have been in shock last year – this year, I have enjoyed the Grandchildren, and the family gatherings, of course, but there is a sadness that doesn’t go away, does it? I think I have been doing SO well, but this has thrown me for a bit of a curve. I imagine it is the same for all of you, and I am thinking of you all during this holiday season. I am so glad that I have met you all, and shared this past year with you. I think of you all as my good friends. It is my hope that 2010 will be a better year for everyone, and that we will continue our friendship.
Love – Joyce
Hi Everybody,
I also want to let you all know that I am thinking of you all over the holidays. Yes, Pauline it is just as hard as last year, maybe harder. I too will be relieved when it is all over. I think last year we were still in shock and a fog. This year it is becoming clearer every day that this is our life now. I too am trying to be stong & remember all the good times, and there were a lot. Even small things take on so much more meaning now.
I think it is great that you and Julia got to chat and will be meeting up for coffee. If only we were all closer together so that we could all meet. I keep hoping that maybe someday we can work it out.
So everyone take care and do what you need to do to get you through this holiday season. I am thinking of all of you fondly and hoping you are all doing OK .
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear all,
Just to say I am thinking of you all as Chritmas arrives again. I think the build up is the worst part and I have found it just as hard this year. I have been feeling very low, especially since I finished work last week. It seems to me that it’s an endurance test but, hopefully there will be a sense of relief when it is over!
It was lovely to talk to you Julia and I am really looking forward to that coffee! Posters are high on my list of priorities for the coming period and I would love to get your ideas on this. I hope your sister is going along ok with the chemo and that you will have a lovely Christmas together.
Well, Darla, Joyce, Sue, Janet, Cyndi, Theresa and everyone, here we are again facing another Christmas and I hope you will all be alright. I am trying to get some strength from some lovely memories and at the moment Anthony is bringing me a glass of wine and trying to get me to divulge what presents I have got for him! This is making me smile!
Take care all of you! I am thinking of you!
With love,
Pauline xx
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