Babies, babies everywhere

Kris:

I’m new to this web site, but remember this, NO ONE has an expiration date stamped on the bottom of their feet! Never take NO for an answer! My husband Tom is fighting CC after a liver resection, 19 months later a new inoperable tumor appeared in the remaining rt. lobe of the liver. We are fighting it together. Keep the faith and go with God.
Margaret

Kris I have been thinking of you ever since I read your post last night. We lost our first daughter when she was 9 months old. She had a genetic disorder that only allowed us to have her with us for such a short time. When she was born my sister, two of my best friends and two of my colleagues all had newborn babies. I remember how impossibly hard it was – I loved all the babies around me and I didn’t want sister or my friends to feel guilty for having what I didn’t have (a healthy child) – but it was so hard sometimes not to be jealous of what they had. And of course I was grieving – while she was alive for a life that I had imagined that was never going to be and after she was gone because I missed her so much.

I think that anytime our lives turn out to be drastically different from our expectations and our dreams we grieve even while we adjust and perservere. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received was from a wise woman who told me “It is possible for you to feel more than one emotion at the same time”. For me, it was such a liberating concept. It meant I could love all these babies and moms around me but it also gave me the courage to tell them that it was hard sometimes for me to be with their babies but that I still needed my sister and my friends. That opened the door for them to express their feelings of sadness for me and the guilt they inadvertently felt for having their healthy children. It also opened the door for “baby-free” plans allowing them to support me which I really needed.

Kris, you are one of the bravest people I know. I can’t imagine what you are going through. But I do know that you give so much of yourself, no one who knows you can possibly forget you.

Kris, I couldn’t get you out of my mind last night, your spirit, your encouragement and saucy attitude. I know you have this huge radiant glow about you. I bet there isn’t one person you’re ever met that didn’t like Kris. To read your feelings on the child you might never have breaks my heart, but don’t think that Hans will have nothing left of you or the love you have between you. He’ll remember the softness of your hair and skin, the strength you impart to others, the encouragement and the way you can make people laugh with your posts. There isn’t one little thing he’s going to forget about you, Kris, he’ll remember “what a woman, she brought out the best in me.”

And besides who knows what’s ahead? You’re still here, aren’t you?

Love,
Sophie

I’m so sorry, Kris – I do know how hard that can be. I was 35 when I was told I couldn’t have children & it took me a good while to adjust. My reason wasn’t the same as yours but the emotional side was still very painful. Since then, I’ve “adopted” all my friends’ children & adore watching my god-daughters grow up. My godson’s just had a baby, too & I’m waiting to meet him.

Have you had a chance to meet Kjartan Magnus yet? Please tell us more when you do.

All my best wishes are winging your way through the snow

Hi Kris, go ahead and have your party and thanks for inviting us! But, never say Hans has nothing to remember you by. No one can take away memories. And, anyway, where ya going?????? Not yet, girl! P>S> I just remembered….you planted all those flower for Hans to remember his favorite flower called a HiKRIScus!