Bad news, mom not operable

Hi Dina,
I left a reply on Wednesday but see now it never did post. First of all, I am so sorry that we are both living the same nightmare. (Im the one who’s mom had the exact same outcome as yours on Tuesday this past week.)
I would never wish anyone to be in the position our family is in.
How is your mom feeling? My mom got discharged today, she is still pretty sore at the incision site, but otherwise feels good. Our next step is Wed the 18th when she has an appointment with a new oncologist in Sacramento. I have no idea what to expect, its just like we have this date in our heads and we are all hoping of course he will give us some wonderful words of wisdom and possibly treatment to prolong her life (STILL can’t believe I am saying these words!!)
The one thing I keep hearing is to encourage her to choose quality of life over quantity. I hate it..I don’t want her to have to choose, she’s so young, happy and full of life with 6 young grandkids who adore her.
Anyway I can go on and on, just so scared and sad..as you know Id love to keep in touch, compare notes etc. I hope your holding up OK, I think we are all in denial cause things appear so normal and she feels so normal!!!
Take care of yourself
Amy

Dina,

I am so sorry about your Mom’s surgery outcome. Take one day at a time and try to stay positive. Of course it was shocking for you to hear that your Mom was inoperable. That is because you had hope for the best. Please don’t give up hope. Miracles happen every day. Chemo has really helped my daughter feel so much better. I think you will feel better once you have a diagnosis and a game plan. We are all here to help. Take care and God bless.

-Pam

Dina,
My heart goes out to you, but as Marion said, its best to get all the results together to see which way to go. Stay strong for your Mom. You will be amazed by the strength you have. Support, prayers and good thoughts to you and your Mom,
~Amy

Dina…My heart is with you. This is the kind of news none of us want to receive, but it happens frequently in that the true extent of the disease can only be determined via open surgery. Dr. Chote has operated on many CC patients – I would trust his opinion.
Dina, let’s await the pathology reports and the recommendation of the oncologist because; first and foremost the suspected diagnoses by Dr. Chote needs to be confirmed. Depending on the results you might also want to discuss the possibility of a clinical trial for your Mom.
Please, keep us posted and please, know that we are with you.
Hugs and love,
Marion

Dina, I am so sorry about the disappointing news of your Mom’s surgery. I am responding because it was the same with my Dad’s cancer. The surgery was aborted too. They believed his started in the gallbladder and then traveled the biliary tract. It was in his pancreas too. He never had mets to his liver. The surgeon said he wouldn’t have had any clear margins. It was heartbreaking. After about a month, my dad was doing better. We had so many good days and trips to the coffee shop. He tried a few treatments of chemo, but he was in a very weak state and couldn’t tolerate it. He lived about 6 months from diagnosis of cholangiocarinoma. He did have other health issues as well. I know your family feels like they have been punched in the gut right now. It will take time to process it. I hope your mom is feeling better soon and you can make those memories with her. Wishing you all the best, Pam