Brother diagnosed 2 months ago
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Hi there Oceangirl;
just wanted to let you know that I’m holding you and your brother (and your entire family) in my thoughts. Time is so precious and it’s wonderful that you can spend some with your brother and family to make wonderful memories to hold in your hearts.Dear Oceangirl,
I am so very very sorry to hear this latest news about your brother. My thoughts are with you, him and all of your family right now. The feelings that you describe are so common and many of us have experienced them also. My dad too also went through the in hospice care for a few weeks at this stage and they took excellent care of him and us throughout, nothing was too much trouble for them at all.
Right now your brothers comfort is the most important thing to consider and I am sure that hospice will do an excellent job in that. If I could give you some advice right now it would be for all of you to make the most of this time that you have with each other. Spend as much time as you can together and make some memories if you can that you will have through all of your life.
Having been there all the way with my dad I know that this is such a tough time for you. But I also know that you will find the strength to do what you have to do as well. Sometimes you may doubt that you will have that strength but I know that you will. We are all here for you and will help you as much as we can. Come back as much as you want to and know that you are not alone in this. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.
Hugs,
Gavin
Oceangirl,
I am so sorry to hear that your brother is not doing well. I’m sure that hospice will provide the comfort he deserves at this time. I hope that you all get to spend some meaningful time with him.
It’s hard to know what to say at this time. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Peace,
MaryMy thoughts are with you, Oceangirl, at this sorrowful time. My heart aches for your family, especially your little nephew. May your brother find peace while surrounded by the love of family.
Dear oceangirl,
I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry to hear things are not going well for your brother. I know things can be so hard to deal with at times. I wish for your brother to have a peaceful, pain-free time in hospice care. May you find comfort in him being well cared for.
Love,
-PamThank you all for your support and kind words. He is going to a hospice facility rather than home for many reasons. I hope it will be ok for him. I hope he is not afraid. It has all happened so fast. We have experienced hospice before, two of my uncles died in one, also of cancer, one just 4 years ago. My heart aches. I am so glad to have found this site. It is a little bit of comfort at such a sad dark time.
Oceangirl I am so very sorry to read this. Are you having Home Hospice or taking your brother to a facility? I went through this with my husband and Home Hospice is fabulous. It gives the family time to all be together and make some more happy memories. It goes so deep it is unexplainable. They will be there to help you when he ends this Journey and will also answer questions along the way. The most important thing though is his comfort whether at a facility or home make sure he is pain free. We were not born with expiration dates on our feet so who knows when, only one person knows. I think having his son around will perk him up as children are the best RX. And we are at a distance but know that we are with you in spirit. Any questions just ask those of us who have been there. None of this is fair and we all go through the anger but trust me that in time the best memories will overtake all else. My thoughts are with you and the family.
Oceangirl….my heart breaks for your brother and his family and especially for his little boy.
Hospice will provide the help needed so that all of you, his loved ones, can take in every minute of the day with each other and for each other. Although, saddled with enormous pain and agony these are some of the most precious times togetherness can bring. Physicians can provide a general overview of life expectancy (based on the experiences and patient symptoms) but they are not able to pin-point it. Therefore, with comfort control and tons of love, your brother may very well outlive the predictions of his life expectancy.
My heart is with you,
Hugs and love,
MarionFound out today the chemo is not doing any good. The blood clots are getting worse. My brother will going to hospice tomorrow. The oncologist thinks he has only weeks left. Our family is devastated. I am angry and sad and depressed, but mostly angry. i dont know what to do with these feelings. It’s only been 3 months. He has a three year old at home. It is not fair.
Thank you Pam. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s passing. This is such a horrible disease. It is sometimes hard to have hope. But we keep moving on. It’s so hard. The support here is phenomenal. Appreciate you all.
Hi oceangirl,
I would also like to welcome you to this site and tell you I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I know it is so hard to watch a loved one battle this cancer. I’m sorry to say that my daughter, Lauren, passed away in June at the young age of 27. She was not hungry a lot of the time but always managed to love popsicles. There are some that are made from fruit and juice that have some nutritonal value. She also liked scrambled eggs, homemade chicken noodle soup, creamed chicken, and other comfort foods. It is so awful to not have an appetite when you need to eat to keep your strength up. I think Lauren was depressed as well, but didn’t want to take antidepressants. She did talk to a social worker and that helped a lot. I did need antidepressants to cope with everything and they are a lifesaver for me. I would also say to never give up hope. A good attitude goes a long way and hope keeps a good attitude going. You are among friends here and we are all here to help. Bless you and your brother.
Love,
-PamAppreciate all the support and advice from everyone it really helps. I will keep mentioning the liquid nutrition to my mom and sister in law who are his primary caregivers. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences KrisJ. He did eat some lunch with my mom today. Is having a port put in for the chemo tomorrow and then trying to get him home. Praying every day the folfox is doing something.
Hi Oceangirl,
Welcome to the sight. I hope it is a real source of information and support for you at what must be incredibly hard to deal with. You are right taking it a day at a time. It is very hard to support everyone so please look after you too – or let us help you. My sister was 41 when she became ill last October and suffered multiple setbacks and complications. This site and the people here always helped at some of the hardest times. I so hope folfox works. X
Oceangirl, I am sorry you all had to join this little family, but as you can see, we are here for each other and try so hard to help with issues.
I also had depression… Still do once in a while. I was on Ativan, then Xanax, but quit them in April when I felt I didn’t need them anymore (besides, the Xanax made me dizzy).
When I lost weight, and didn’t care about eating, I drank ensure. It’s filled with nutrients and calories. Plus it tastes great. I still drink a little of it occasionally, for the nutrients. I definitely don’t need the calories, tho!
If you can get him to drink, juicing or smoothies are a great way to get some nutrition without having to eat. You can make smoothies using spinach and fruits and get lots of good stuff in a shake form. Or juicing veggies is great (although I don’t like juicing).
Good luck with options and I am praying the chemo works and your brothers treatment and therapy both go well.
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