Devoncat no more

Hans, you are amazing and the Memorial Service sounds like it was just beautiful. If I may add one thing to you, please:

From a book of blessings called “Benedictus” by John O’Donohue – Irish Poet & Philosopher

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss.
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return all the time.

Dear Hans,
What a beautiful tribute to Kris. So many tender, sweet gestures…..her favorite flowers, the purple scarf from you, her butterfly broach. It makes my heart hurt. I still expect to see posts from her when I come to this board and then I remember she is gone. Even though I’m so sad she has died, I can always re-read her posts and for that I am grateful.
Please have a safe trip to the States.

xxoo
Betsy

Yesterday we held Kris

Hans, my thoughts and prayers are with you…as I read the posts from Kris and now from you, I only hope that I am as strong as you are when my husbands fight with this cancer takes him from me. We will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in Feb 2011 and I’ve very happy that we did have the time together that we did, just like for you and Kris.

Go with God,
Margaret

Hans,

I have sat and cried a bucket of tears reading all your posts. As others mentioned, your writing style is so much like Kris’ and it was sad, although heartwarming to read. What an amazing love story the two of you had and I wish the very best for you. So hoping that you will find brighter days ahead. Don’t forget to remember Kris when you see the tulips she planted. She posted once she was planting them so you could think of her each time they bloomed.

Hugs from across the ocean….
Nancy

Hans, honestly it is too soon to think about anything else, for me too. There is so much to be done after someone passes. How come when we enter the world all we need is a birth certificate? Oh, I know. All the paper work and etc is to keep our minds off our loved ones while filling out information about them constantly. One other note to you: not sure if you are a believer but Teddy has come to me so often. He seems to thrive on the light bulbs and just recently as I was getting dressed to go to my mom, who at 94 is passing slowly, I turned off the closet light and slowly closed the door and all of a sudden for no reason at all our song, “When I Fall In Love”, popped into my head so clearly. I know Teddy was showing me that he is with me now as before when I go through a major deal in life. He has also twice laid on the bed at 4AM on Tuedsay mornings. Once I felt his side of the bed sink and the other he was breathing with his mouth open as he did the last few months. I even held my breath to listen. Yep it was right in my ear. If you believe, you will soon be hearing from Kris. Teddy’s daughter, who is 53, asked me last week if I thought he knew how much he was loved by so many peoplpe and I said yes, he knew because I told him all the time! Kris also knew and the way they loved us they would also want us to be very brave and strong.

Hans, I can so relate to you and to Kris. My husband and I were only married 16 years but I would rather have had those 16 years with a love so few ever know, than to have had none of it. You and Kris had that same love. Where people could just see it emanating and wanted to watch you and be a part of it. Teddy has only been gone 6 weeks but I have noticed I am not crying as much but am waiting now for the “missing” him to subside a little. Guess that will take time, as it will take time for you. I tell people I am adjusting to my “new normal”. I think about you and what you are going through and send you my thoughts of knowing and caring.