Devoncat no more

Kris was so lucky to have you and you her. Yours is a wonderful love story that was put to the ultimate challenge and survived. I have not been on this board long so have just gotten to know Kris through her writings. She was an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Nancy

It’s been two weeks precisely since Kris passed away, and almost one week since I returned to Sweden with her ashes.

Things are starting to come together fairly well here. The wheels have been set in motion with German, Swedish and American authorities, and so far it looks like the procedures will run parallell rather than one having to wait for another. The plans are starting to come together for a funeral service here in Kalmar also. It will be simple enough, but probably not quite as small as I had thought.

I’ve booked the small chappel where Kris was planning for us to renew our vows (I’m not quite sure if she really knew it is actually a funeral chappel…) for the 31st of January, and I’m starting to look at what I want the service to be like. One of my absolute favourite pictures of Kris is actually the one she has as her profile picture in the “faces” section, taken a few years ago during a visit to Glasgow, and I’ll try to have it enlarged enough to put next to the urn at the service, if it comes out clear enough. And I’m trying to pick a Jimmy Buffet song or two to play. (Before we moved in with eachother she dumped me about once a month, and one time she said good bye with a personal selection of Buffet songs where she had written little comments about what certain songs meant to her and why they reminded her of us. I think there is one or two in there that might do nicely.)

Still no papers from the US embassy so I don’t know if getting a travelling permit for her ashes will be difficult or not.

I’ve started going through her stuff bit by bit, and it’s more difficult and emotional than I had thought. A bit like an archaeological expedithion to our relationship. And I haven’t even started on any of the difficult stuff yet…

I was up at my office the other day and everyone was all hugs and tears which felt really good because I’ve allways shared so much of what was going on with Kris with my colleagues. Especially one whos mother passed away from CC a year ago – what are the odds of that? – we had a good cry together now.

The more I think about Kris and me the more it strikes me how short our time togehter was, but how intense it was! We moved in with eachother four and a half years ago, and although we had been dating for more than three years that’s when our life together really started. Four and a half years. But it feels like a whole lifetime.

Thank you Hans, for taking such good care of “our” Kris. An amazing woman.
My sympathy goes out to you, her family and friends.

Kathy

Hans – I’m glad you are finally able to return back to Sweden with Kris. Please keep us posted when you feel up to it. I would love to know when her ashes will be spread into the ocean. I don’t live far from the Atlantic Ocean here in NJ and would love to be at the ocean’s edge when that happens. If you can, let us know. Have a safe journey – Nancy

Yes, I remember she wasn’t too happy about the beard…

The weight thing was odd though, because when she was on chemo about a year ago (I imagine the post was probably about that time) the steroids would make her regularly gain about a pound per week, which kind of defied expectations.

Weight remained difficult. During the two-three months or so before the end she lost a lot of muscle but retained lots and lots of water. Her weight remained perfectly normal, but her shoulders and arms were mere skin and bones, and we speculated a lot about what her “real” weight without the excess fluid might be…

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I was very, very touched to see the two threads about Kris in the “in memory” section. I hadn’t seen those until last night.

The cremation took place yesterday. I spoke to the undertaker on the phone and we’ve agreed on meeting in a hotel at the airport Wednesday morning so he can give me her ashes and the paper work I need to transport them. Then we fly to Copenhagen where another wonderful friend is picking us up to drive me and Kris home…

Barbara has made a little shrine where I can light a candle for Kris. There is a purple hyacinth, a small guardian statuette that Kris originally had given to her, and which she sent back to Kris in the clinic to watch over her, and two photos of Kris from Glasgow in the good old days when the world was brighter and she was ready to take it by storm… In every picture I see of her from those days she always has the same expression – her whole face is smiling and she is barely able to contain an flood of giggles.

Hans – thank you for everything you have done & are doing!! & Andrea – WELCOME. I so wish we could have met in different circumstances but I’m a sister, too & my heart goes out to you so much.

Please visit us often & scream, vent, cry & – ultimately – laugh. We’re here for you, too.

Julia x

Luckyladybird,

As Kris’s sister, you know personally what a great and stong person she was. You are so right, there are so many that loved & cared about her and will miss her, too. I agree, she was so very lucky to have Hans in her life. As lucky as he was to have her in his. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & Hugs To All Of You,
Darla

Oh Hans,

I just came on and saw this. And once again I must thank you for posting these wonderful things. It has made me smile. I think this must have been posted before I joined the board in September ’08. It is typical Kris and I can picture her now doing just that. I think you are right. God got bored.

As for reading her posts now, I think she would be just fine with that and I am sure it will be of much comfort to you right now.

I am sure Joyce is right and she is rocking everyone’s world in heaven now. What a great thought.

Love & Hugs,
Darla