Heartbroken

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #48282
    cherbourg
    Spectator

    Oh Ashley,

    My heart goes out to you. I lost my Mom to this monster of a disease April 3, 2011 and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her.

    From reading your post I can tell you that your Mom has done her job well. She has obviously raised an amazing, caring, compassionate and loving daughter.

    These upcoming days may be difficult but Ash, I can promise you we are all only a keystroke away and will be here for you.

    I’m sending prayers for strength for you and your family and prayers for comfort for your Mom.

    Hugs and tons of love..

    Pam

    #48281
    roma35
    Member

    Ashley,
    your post is just so, so sad. It is very difficult to come to this site and read some/many of the posts because this cancer is just so incredibly unfair. You dont deserve to lose your momma at such a young age, nor your sister, your dad and your sweet baby, and most importantly, your mom doesnt deserve this disease. I have no words except to say Im sorry. I do believe we all go to a better place and although I dont know why some have to leave far too early, I do believe God has a plan. Ill put you, your family and esp your momma in my prayers.
    xoxo

    Barbara

    #48280
    slittle1127
    Member

    Dearest Ashley –

    I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this experience. You have been blessed to be so close, but that makes this time even harder. I can only offer you words of comfort – Hold each other close, say all the loving things that are in your heart, thank her for all that she has given you in your life. I’m sure you have done these things, but you can do them again and again.

    It is so hard to accept that we are all here for just a short while, but your mom is young and there was no way to see this coming or to prepare for it.

    My heart is with you. Please wrap your arms around yourself and accept a big hug from your CC family.

    Let us know how it goes and know that our hearts are with you. You are not alone. We have felt and feel your pain.

    Blessings,
    Susan

    #48279
    32coupe
    Spectator

    Ashley,
    Praying now for comfort and peace for your Momma and strength for you. What an unimaginable journey you have been on. May God be close.

    bob

    #48278
    nancy246
    Spectator

    Ashley, My heart bleeds for you. My 3 children are in your age bracket and for them it is their Dad that is sick. I lost my Dad at a young age so I know how hard it is and how especially hard it was for my Mom. You will need to rely on each other to help you through this. Unfortunately there will be times we do not feel like it but we will survive these sad life situations. No matter what happens your mom will be with you forever. You will feel her every day. You will see her in yourself, your sister and your precious daughter. Hang in there Ashley, you are making precious memories each day. Hugs to you and your family. Nancy

    #48277
    nur1954
    Spectator

    Hi Ashley – Your post broke my heart. We love and need our Moms so much, don’t we? I lost my Mom to Alzheimers almost ten years ago and it was a heartbreaking thing to watch. This disease is just so damn ugly!!! I’m sorry for all your troubles but hope the knowledge that you love your mother and she loves you and your little girl so much will carry you through these tough days. I know right now that you feel like you can’t go on, but you will because you will do it for your Momma and for your little Laney. My thoughts are with you, your Dad and your family right now. Hugs – Nancy

    #48276
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dearest Ashley, I am so very sorry to hear this report about your Mom. My own belief is that taking her on a trip to San Antonio right now would zap what ever energy she has. It is so very tiring for someone in her position to even take a short car ride. When her energy is zapped she cannot have the strength to fight what ever she has to fight. Calling in Hospice does not mean calling in for the end. They even start visiting patients up to a year before. I believe that while I had them coming to the house for Teddy, they made him very comfortable and he actually looked forward to seeing them. It truly does ease things up for everyone including her. Bottom line is you do not want to see your Momma suffer, you want to keep her as comfortable as you can and Hospice can do that for her. Please stay in touch with us, you are not alone! My prayers are going out for your family.

    #4813
    ashleyc
    Spectator

    Well, I remember not too long ago I wrote on here that mom would be having her chemoembolzation procedure..which she did on January 31st. This was with much anticipation because the chemo had already been working great and had shrunk the largest tumor as much as 50%. She recently had an MRI done and her oncologist called her this past Friday with the results..nothing to smile about. He was sure that the tumors have grown significantly and the chemoembolization did not work. This emotional roller coater definitley takes it toll on us all, but I feel guilty for complaining on the pain I am in when I take one look at my mother. My husband, daughter and I went to visit this weekend. Hoping to spend some quality time with my dad, sister and my grandmother who is taking care of her while my dad has to work. Because of the chemo, she can no longer walk on her own and she has lost all muscle tone in her neck so her head just hangs down. She is coughing up blood. She can’t hold a conversation with you or much less speak a complete sentence. My momma was there for the birth of my daughter and kept her for the first 9 months of her life when I had to go back to work. I feel that they have a very special bond. Laney (my daughter) wants so badly for her memaw (my momma) to hold her and pick up her but mom is too weak. So we have to pick Laney up and put her in her lap..Laney will just lay her head on mommas shoulder as if she feels so comforted. I look over and my dad is just pouring tears. He tries to be so strong for my sister and I but emotions are too strong. He will go with her to the doctor tomorrow to see about a clinical trial in San Antonio (moms choice) I just dont see how its possible, she isn’t strong enough. Or, the last choice we’d never thought we’d have to make is hospice. I am trying to find the strength to get through these next couple of weeks but I feel like I am just falling apart. My 26th birthday is coming up next month, moms 47th birthday is in May. Dad had plans to take mom to Hawaii for the anniversary in August and how will I handle her not being there for my daughters 2nd birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, my sisters college graduation, wedding and babies of her own? She is not only my mother but my best friend. We used to talk daily, at least 2-3 times. She is what warms our family and what holds us together. I also worry about my Daddy afterwards..him coming home to an empty house with every wall reminding us of momma. What will he do next? Since this journey has began in July, I want to thank each of you for allowing me a place to turn outside my family. You have all made me feel a sense of comfort that I am not alone in this. Please pray for my momma that she find comfort and peace. Hope you all have a blessed day. ~Ashley

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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