I never wanted to post here
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- This topic has 24 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 17 years, 2 months ago by rhodymn.
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September 24, 2007 at 4:17 pm #16988lisa-annSpectator
Jules,
Although I am new to this group of wonderful people, and new to the disease, I feel no less saddened by your Fathers passing. I too am watching the CC take every bit of life away from my Dad, and I know someday, I too will have to face this incredible loss myself. Currently I am in denial most days, and hope that this day never comes for me, but being realistic, I know in my heart I have to prepare to let go.
You are in my thoughts,
LisaSeptember 24, 2007 at 4:10 pm #16987kate-gMemberOh Jules. So SO sad to hear your news.
Everyone has said everything, so I will send you HUGE hugs.
I wish you strength to make it thorogh this awful time.
Your post today was a post I never wanted to read. You and your Dad have both seen so brave, and such a comfort to so many.
Oh love, big big hugs again.
Kate xxxxxxSeptember 24, 2007 at 3:47 pm #16986jeffgMemberJules, I’m lost for words. The first thing that came to me when I read your post of rememberance for your Dad, was A Psalm of David that I memorized in Sunday School back in June, 1965. The 23rd Psalm.
God Bless and a prayer coming your way!
Jeff G.
September 24, 2007 at 2:49 pm #16985bjohnsonSpectatorJules –
My heart goes out to you. We don’t like to say good-bye to those whom we love.
They had pain here. They have no pain there. They struggled here. THey have no struggles there. You and I might wonder why God took them home. But they don’t.
They understand. They are, at this very moment, at peace in the presence of God.
We are the ones that continue to struggle because we miss them so much but we will
see them again and just think of the joy. May God give you strength and peace.
Love BettySeptember 24, 2007 at 2:01 pm #16984evan14MemberJules, I am so saddened to here of your fathers
September 24, 2007 at 1:41 pm #16983stacieMemberJules,
The Lindsey, Clements, Pollock, Giles families send you their love.
You and your father were always so gracious about sharing all of your research and experiences while going through this.
We share your grief.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Stacie
September 24, 2007 at 9:51 am #16982teresaMemberDear Jules
my tears are shed yet again. This awful cholangio carcinoma. It is relentless and never appears to stop, no matter what.
No words or deeds will make a difference at this stage.
We are all here for you at any time. Rant away.
This is a very special place and we were all rooting for your dad.
All our prayers will be for you and the family and our love too.
xxxxxxxx Alans momSeptember 24, 2007 at 6:21 am #16980devoncatSpectatorOh Jules,
I too have followed your dad and his struggle since I joined the board in January. He always seemed so logical and strong in how he approached treatment and the battle that it sometimes took away my panic at what was happening to me. It is difficult for me to comprehend what you must be feeling right now. I dont know what else to say expect I am so sorry this has happened and we are here for you. I will keep your family in my prayers.Kris
September 24, 2007 at 4:44 am #16981jmoneypennyMemberDear Jules,
I am crying in sympathy with you right now, having followed your father’s story and hoped against hope for the best for him. And I feel as you do, that I cannot imagine going on without my best friend – in my case, my mother. Your father will be sorely missed. It is just NOT RIGHT that this happens.I can’t say anything that doesn’t seem trite, but I want you to know that I’m grieving in some small part with you – and I hope you find the strength to get through this terrible time. Nothing right now will make the pain any duller, but you always have us on this board who know what you’re going through.
I wish you peace,
JoyceSeptember 24, 2007 at 4:36 am #711julesSpectatorYesterday, Sunday morning my dearest darling father slipped away. I cannot begin to describe the unbelievable pain and anguish I am now feeling. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. It is almost 5am here, it is blowing a gale outside, I know because I have been lying on my bed listening to the wind and rain all night.
My Dad recently remarked to me that it wouldn’t be long before I would be writing in the ‘In Remembrance’ section. (He was a regular on this website too) At the time I told him that I didn’t think I would want to. That should I lose him (I always hoped that we would beat this) that I would never want to see or hear the word cholangio f****** carcinoma again. I was wrong. I feel drawn towards this board, this club that we never wanted to join. I know that you all understand what I mean.
I don’t know how I move on from here but I know that somehow I will. I feel so sad that I have had to lose my best friend in life so soon. (My Dad was only 63). I feel so sad for my Dad that he has lost his life this way. He fought so hard. We consulted with Drs all over the World seeking out cutting edge treatments. The disease was relentless though. As soon as we had conquered one hurdle it threw up another. It never left us alone.
My Dad was always so upset to hear of all the wonderful people on this site who had lost thier lives to this cruel disease. So many beautiful people since we joined this community in 2005. We tried to hold onto hope, we tried to focus on how this disease effects individuals in different ways. I have always been so encouraged and grateful to hear from Peter or Jeff.
Right now I just don’t know what more to say. I feel so numb. I cannot believe that I will never see him or hear his voice again. We spoke all the time. We almost instinctively knew what the other one was thinking. My dad was a clear logical thinker. A strong no nonense sort of person. He often said to me “look forward never look backwards”. He never did. I think he found me far too sentimental and emotional at times! I always wished I could be more like him. So strong, so capable.
Dad, how am I going to survive without you?
Julesxxx
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