Last treatment (hopefully)

Porter,

Congrats on your last treatment!

I have had very similar experiences to you. My liver hurt a lot during chemo. I was always afraid it was a recurrence. It never was and the pain went away after treatment was over. Every now and again I still get a random pain in my abdomen. Nothing has ever showed up on CT but it is still enough to cause me to worry.
I’ve debated since diagnosis going on an anti depressant but I never have. My reason is that I just don’t think a little pill is going to make me forget I had cancer and all that it’s taken from me. Just my thoughts. I know plenty of people use them and find them beneficial.
I did go to the OHSU young adult cancer support group and sometimes I still consider going there. It is just a pain for me to get there on time with traffic.
When I went, I had mixed feelings about it. It is a support group for cancer “survivor’s” but I’m not really sure what that means. A lot of the members were stage IV undergoing very aggressive treatment for various cancers. I don’t think there was much hope for them being cured. For me, it was difficult going there being cancer free and being around so many others who were not and probably never will be. It’s like you feel bad complaining. That’s how I felt anyway.

We should meet up for coffee sometime! We’re pretty close to each other.

Take care,

Susie

Porter….complain, complain, complain. This is the place to do it. You must know that few people are able to shake off the trauma of diagnoses of this disease as well as worrying about the cancer recurring. It is normal, especially during the first year after treatment. So, in that sense, you are as normal as normal can be.
We do know that when treatment ends, people begin a new chapter in their lives, one that can bring hope, happiness – and fear. The fear of recurrence is common among cancer survivors and can sometimes be quite intense.
Some ideas that have helped others deal with uncertainty and fear and feel more hopeful:
Learn what you can do for your health now and about the services available to you. This can give you a greater sense of control.
Be aware of your fears, but don’t judge them. Practice letting them go. It’s normal for these thoughts to enter your mind, but you don’t have to keep them there. Some people picture them floating away, or being vaporized. Letting them go can free you from wasting time and energy on needless worry.
Take in the present moment rather than thinking of an uncertain future or a difficult past. If you can find a way to feel peaceful inside yourself, even for a few minutes a day, you can start to recall that peace when other things are happening – when life is busy and confusing.
Work toward having a positive attitude, which can help you feel better about life now. Just remember you don’t have to act “positive” all the time. Don’t beat yourself up or let others make you feel guilty when you’re feeling sad, angry, anxious, or distressed.
Use your energy to focus on wellness and what you can do now to stay as healthy as possible. Try to make healthy diet changes.
Find ways to help yourself relax.
Be as physically active as you can.
Control what you can. Some people say that putting their lives back in order makes them feel less fearful. Being involved in your health care, getting back to your normal life, and making changes in your lifestyle are among the things you can control. Even setting a daily schedule can give you more power. And while no one can control every thought, some say they’ve resolved not to dwell on the fearful ones.
Support groups are great and may also provide you with the strengths to overcome your fears. Most of all though, dear Porter, try not to be too hard on yourself. You deserve to like yourself.
Hugs,
Marion