May 4, 2009 at 4:08 pm #28533karenbMember
I also lost my younger sister to this horrible disease. She was only 33 years old, and had four young children. I can so relate to everything you say. It has been two years since my sister passed away, but it doesn’t feel like it has been two years. She was my best friend and I miss her soo much! I wish I could tell you time makes it better, but that has not been true for me. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
KarenApril 30, 2009 at 9:35 pm #28532
I am crying right along with you. It’s been 3 months and it hurts as bad right now as it did the day she passed. I sat with her at the hospice house never leaving her side for 9 days. Day and night. We were very lucky to have such a bond with our sister…a lot of people will not understand that. She was my best friend for 40 years. How am I supposed to just live without her now? I can tell you are feeling the same things and so I hurt even more.
How old was your sister Jane and when did you lose her?April 30, 2009 at 9:24 pm #28531
I feel that nobody truely understand what I feel and I cry as I write this to you. I feel so many emotions mainly anger because it has taken my sister away and I have nobody to turn to for advice or help anymore. She was sensible and I was not bit silly really but I was so proud of her she was clever and achieved so much in her life.
She knew I was there in her last moments and even when she was so weak she tried to wipe my tears even then she wanted to make me feel better. I miss her so much and don’t know if I will ever stop feeling like this thank you for speaking with me it does help and I hope you can feel better as I hope I will one day but I know my life will never be the samexApril 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm #28530
Jane, I know I said this before…but when I read what you write, I feel like I am reading my own feelings and thoughts. I feel like it is useless to pray to or hope for miracles. I did all of that and all it got me was my sister gone in a very short time. And a lot of suffering. My heart is hurting today.April 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm #28529
I read your thoughts and it breaks my heart, I wish I could take this disease from you and throw it where it where it will never come back. My 6 year old girl has associated death with being old and can’t understand why her Auntie died when she was just a Mummy, she asks why God would do that and I say I don’t know.
Caroline never visited this website I don’t know why, she knew I did and always said if it helps you then that’s ok with me. I think she knew what her fate was. I wish she had pushed her oncologist more but she excepted everything he said. He was nice but she was young like you and you deserve to live. Please Kris keep fighting you are a wonderful person because one thing this horrible disease has taught me is that nobody bad ever suffers from this.
I won’t pray because i did that and it didn’t work so I hope and dream that you get your chance to have a great life please please get well. that is my wish xApril 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm #28528devoncatMember
I am so sorry for your loss. I am struggling too at 34 and not ready to go. I never really thought about how my determination and fight affects those around me. Everynight in my prayers, I pray for those who have lost someone. In that prayer I ask that they remember their loved ones as they were before cc and not what they became. You and your family are in my thoughts.
KrisApril 30, 2009 at 8:33 am #28527
Thank you to you all for your kind replies, I do take comfort from your messages and know that you all understand the devastation that this disease causes.
I will continue to visit this site in the hope that I can be of some help to others, I know that I have always valued the responses that I used to get.
thank you all again
JaneApril 29, 2009 at 11:27 pm #28526darlaParticipant
I am so sorry that Caroline has lost her battle with this horrific disease. I too know the pain and sadness that you are now experiencing. I lost my husband almost 8 months ago in a very short time. By the time we knew what we were fighting it was already too late. We can only take comfort in the fact that they are all now at peace, in a better place, no longer suffering or in pain. Caroline will always be with you in your heart and memories as will Jim be in mine. That is what helps me to go on. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, hoping that you will find the strength you need to get through this very sad and trying time in your lives. Remember that we are all here for you and that all of us here do truely understand.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaApril 29, 2009 at 11:00 pm #28525sophieMember
I am so sorry about Caroline’s death. Only those of us who are fighting this disease truly know the anguish and anxiety of not being ready and leaving those we love so much. And loving family members like yourself know what it’s like to feel the grief and are sharing your pain right now because they have been or are now making this painful journey. It is my prayer that you will find some comfort that Caroline isn’t suffering any longer, and she is at peace.
SophieApril 29, 2009 at 9:59 pm #28524brookerpMember
Jane, I am so sorry about your sister. I lost my daddy in January after 18 months of battling this horrible disease. I miss him so every day. Your words are so true, so often we take things, life, people for granted. We are not promised anything. One thing I am grateful for, if anything from this horrible disease, is that we were able to show and tell daddy just how much we loved him. My girlfriend lost her husband in a car accident in December and just like that he was gone. I am thankful for having time to tell my daddy how wonderful a daddy he was and always will be to me.
My heart breaks for you, your family and everyone on this site who come here to share grief……..I am so thankful for each of you. People say they understand how I feel, but you guys truly do. Thank you for that.
Smiles through tears,
PatsyApril 29, 2009 at 4:02 pm #28523
I feel like when I read this post, I was the one who had written it. I lost my beautiful sister after 10 months and she was only 42. Two teenage kids and a family who adored her. She was my best friend and I want to talk to her everyday. I am sad for you and your family.April 29, 2009 at 12:34 pm #28522tessMember
Dear Jane, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister Caroline. There is no justice in this disease, you are so right. And there is especially no justice in a young mother being taken from her children. It sounds like she had not accepted her fate, understandably so, which makes it very difficult on you as well. You and your family are in our prayers. I lost my Dad to cc in March, and I know that for you too the grief is raw and brings a rollercoaster of emotions. You are wise to say that we need to make the most of the day, and let those we love know how we feel….. as all we really have is the day.
Sending hugs your way Jane,
TessApril 29, 2009 at 11:42 am #2262
It is a while since I posted anything on the site, I think we as a family got so desperate to try and see some improvement in my sister’s health. Sadly it was not meant to be and Caroline lost her fight with this dreadful illness two weeks ago. She battled it and her own doctor was amazed at her strength. She lasted 18 months following diagnosis and it was thought she would only last 6.
Although I would like to say she is now at peace I don’t feel that way, she was not ready to go, she wanted so much to see her children grow up and I can’t accept that this has happened.
We all miss her so much just not being able to pick up the phone and speak with her is so hard. To see what this disease did to such a healthy young woman was heartbreaking and she did not deserve it. Caroline had a great job, healthy lifestyle didn’t smoke very rarely drank and just doted on her kids.
I wish everybody on this site luck, because sometimes luck is what you need most. If nothing else I realise how precious life is and no one knows what cards we will be dealt, so make the most of life and love those who are precious to you.
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