June 17, 2015 at 5:49 pm #88752gavinModerator
I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your dear dad, please accept my sincerest condolences. Your tribute to your dad is lovely and your dad sounded like a real character as well, I know that he will be missed by so many people. I too lost my dad to this cancer and I so know how you are feeling right now.
Please know that we are all here for you and please know as well that my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
GavinJune 17, 2015 at 3:41 am #88751kwilson60613Participant
Thank you all so much for such kind words. I am so touched by the responses from everyone, truly.
Lainy, what a beautifully appropriate poem, I agree with your words wholeheartedly. Celebrating his life would certainly be his preference, versus mourning his death. Grief brings both, but the former has won more times than not… which is largely due to his influence on all of us, certainly.
Marion, thank you. For the tireless work you do, for your insightful words of support and encouragement, and for your response to me specifically. It puts a smile on my face to know that my dad would have adored your response, and likely read it out loud to all of us on a regular basis.
Darla and Kris, I agree with your thoughts regarding grieving, how different it seems to be for everyone, as well as the comfort in knowing that he was never in pain, and if he’d had a choice as to how his life would end, this would’ve most definitely been it. Quick, painless, not a burden to anyone, and surrounded by the ones who loved him most.
Julie, it meant so much to read your response. I do hope my dad would appreciate the fact that I went out of my way to keep his obit in tune with the way he lived his life and would likely want to be remembered; quick, to the point, infused with a touch of humor and showing of his true character.June 17, 2015 at 3:21 am #88750kvollandParticipant
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that it happened the way it did, for both him and you. Sounds likes you have a good handle on things. May I say that with grief, we all travel through it differently and I think your 33 wonderful years will help with that process. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
KrisVJune 17, 2015 at 12:14 am #88749iowagirlMember
Kerry, What a wonderful man your father must have been…and what a wonderful child you are. The nut doesn’t far fall from the tree. I hope that someday, when I breathe my last, my child remembers me in such a wonderful way.
JulieJune 16, 2015 at 10:25 pm #88748darlaParticipant
I am so sorry to hear that your father has passed away. What a wonderful way to remember him. It is good to remember all of the good things he did and meant to all of you. Knowing that it happened quickly and painlessly must be of some comfort to you and your family. Know that he will always be with you in your heart and those fond memories.
Thinking of you and your family at this sad and trying time.
DarlaJune 16, 2015 at 10:21 pm #88747marionsModerator
Kerry…..I am sorry to hear of your dear Dad’s passing. Your beautiful tribute to a beautiful person is embedded deep in my heart. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful memento with us.
Hugs and love,
MarionJune 16, 2015 at 9:27 pm #88746lainyParticipant
Dear Kerry, I am so sorry to read about “The Adjuster”. Sounds like you are one wonderful daughter and I am sure he just loves the way you are remembering him. All the good things should be remembered and they WILL over shadow the rest. Your Dad will always be with you, just look for him.
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain,
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
For everything beautiful that you see
will bring a memory of me.June 16, 2015 at 9:09 pm #11399kwilson60613Participant
My wonderful dad, Don Maggard (adjuster11 for those who knew him only by his username on this site), passed away on 2/21/15, exactly a week shy of his 82nd birthday. It was somewhat unexpected, since he was still chugging along with weekly gem/cis chemo treatments that continued to keep the cancer from progressing. His mind was strong, his wit sharp and his outlook characteristically positive until his very last breath. It seems though, that his body was finished dealing with all of this cancer nonsense and his heart stopped beating, quickly and painlessly, while he was walking to the bathroom and telling inappropriate jokes to the nurses, per usual. His brain never had a chance to register this fact, a blessing in so many ways.
As his youngest daughter, I was the closest to him in many ways and everyone assumed that I would take his death the hardest. Oddly, I think this is exactly what has made it tolerable. I got to have 33 years with the most wonderful guy I’ll ever know, and have been left with zero regrets. Instead, I am surrounded by countless memories, great stories and plenty of advice, all of which I will keep close to me, especially when the pangs of sadness and loss creep in as they do from time to time.
My dad was a regular on this site, and while he didn’t post often, he read and researched and watched and soaked in as much knowledge as he could from all of your words, videos, comments and articles. It gave him power over his diagnosis, and put his situation into perspective, so thank you times a million, to everyone. This site has been invaluable.
From the very beginning until the very end, he was always grateful, and he never suffered; two things I wish upon anyone trying to find their way through a potentially dark and lonely place.
I wrote his obituary, which I’ve copied and pasted below.
Don Louis Maggard
Husband of Red (Ev, to everyone else). Father of five. Papa of 8. Teller of jokes. Giver of sarcasm. Protector of many. Blessing counter. Hero. Liver of life. Doer of crosswords. Owner of memories. King of storytelling. Award winning compliment giver and the best damn guy we have ever come across. He lived his life for the good of his family and for that, we will be forever grateful.
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