my husband and best friend
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Dear Lost in Ohio
I am so sorry for your loss. 36 days is not alot of time to get used to the idea that your husband even has CC, let alone that his life was taken so fast also.
I hope that you have family and friends around you.
My heart and prayers are with you.
LyndaDear Lost in Ohio – I ditto what Jeff has said. I wish I could say something majiq that would make your hurt go away; I wish you could do the same for me. We are all here for each other; you can find most of our e-mail addresses and all of our stories on this wonderful site. Browse through the grief section and I’m sure you will find a posting there that will touch your heart and be of some comfort. So very sorry for your loss but be confident that God knows our hurt, our pain, our loneliness and He weeps when we weep. We are not alone. God Bless
BettyDear lost in Ohio, I am so sorry for your lost. Please feel free to post in our grief management section. There are several wives and Mom’s going through the lost of a loved one who would certainly be willing to listen and share with you some advice and experiences. Again, my sincere condolences of your lost.
God Bless You,
Jeff G.I am new to this site. My husband of 20 years, my best friend, my everything, my Jon, just passed away on Sept. 15 from this horrible disease. He was diagnosed on August 10 and died 36 days later. I am so devastated I can barely survive each day. He’s been gone for 41 days and every day is worse. It was such a short battle and he was in so much pain, how do people continue with their lives? I am lost.
Hi Sandy, your story touched me deeply. I’ve been coming to this site off and on since end of May this year when husband dx with stage 4 cc. My heart just breaks for you and your family, especially your 18 year old daughter. We also have younger children. Charlie is 52 and our kids are 19 and 16. Like the majority of cc patients, we were pretty much given no hope, just chemo with Gemzar for 14 weeks until a consult at UNC caught a surgeon’s interest there who felt he could do something to help. That’s where we are now going towards left lobectomy. He also was given 6 months which would be around T’giving and Christmas this year. Thank God for the surgeon’s interest. I think we’re going to beat the 6 months and hopefully go longer. I can’t imagine being 16, a boy, Ben who’s so close to his Dad losing him at that age and my daughter who’s a “Daddy’s girl” as I’m sure your daughter was too. I pray that will be a long ways off.
Love, comfort and peace to you and your family,
CarolHi Missing You,
I am so very sorry for you loss.
I am extremely happy for you though that you were able to with your Dad through this.
It is very frightening how fast this disease spreads.
Thank you for your comforting words and thoughts.
LyndaHi Sandy,
I just can’t imagine what you’ve all been through. Were you scared when you first started to do his TPN? I am so afraid that I am physically going to hurt Roger by giving him needles and whatever else he is going to need.My husband turned 50 this past June. He had retired from GM one year ago July. He has always been as healthy as a horse. He is the strongest man that I know. He is one of those strong silent types. You know the type that you figure will always be around to protect you? I just knew that I never had to worry when he was home. He would never let anything happen to me.
Now it’s my turn to be strong for him.
We have three children. Roger Jr is 28, Shantel is 26 and Tawnie is 23. We have one grandchild Beau, he is 2 years old.
My heart goes out to your daughter. Every baby girl needs her dad. Hopefully with your support, her siblings, her friends and maybe councilling she will pull through this hard time. Please give her a large hug from me.
Lynda
Hi Lynda- my heart goes out to you and your husband. I lost my precious Dad at 69 this year on January 13th, only 10 weeks after diagnosis. His cancer was at stage 4 and he had extensive metastatis to the bone.
I know you will find many useful resources on this site. Most importantly, you will find comfort and support from those who walked a similar path.
Prayers going out to you, your husband and your family. Your love and support will be the best medicine for him. I was honoured to walk along side my Dad on his journey, as was my mom. As heartbreaking as the journey was, I take great comfort in having been there until the end. It will be your presence, I believe, that will be the most significant way you can support him.
Thinking of you and hoping for the best,
Missing U
Hi Lynda,
TPN is called Total Parental Nutrition. It is made specifically for that patient. It contains just about everything in breast milk and then some. My husbands was made in Baltimore and shipped to New Castle, DE. It had everything he needed and then some, to get all the calories and nutrition he needed. It went into a vein into his chest. I hooked it up every night and it ran for 12 hours. I had to inject insulin into the bag, aciphex, and two different types of vitamins. He gained 12 lbs those three months, but in the end the cancer was just too extensive. He initially lost 20 lbs. He was only 52 and my 18 year old daughter is having a very hard time. He died one month before her 18th birthday and 6 weeks before her high school graduation from ST. Elizabeths High. My other kids are 29 and 30, and they seem to be holding their own.
I will pray for a good outcome for your family. How old is your husband Lynda?
They told me my husband had four to nine months – he died in three.
You are in my heart and prayers.
SandyHi Terri, Ramble all you want my dear. You are definintely entitled. I love Ken’s website. We have dial up out here, and everything takes a while to download. Tomorrow I will look through your daughters’. Ken looked like he loved you all and his life very much. You must miss him alot. You shed as many tears as you need to. I did all through your letter and his website. I am so glad that you were blessed enough to be with him when he passed. I was with my husbands father, when he died, and you are probably going to think this is crazy, but it was the most beautiful thing in the world. I could see him slowly come to, he looked up, he looked down, and he looked from side to side, than he looked straight ahead and got a very peaceful smile on his face and passed over. Death is never easy, but to me, it seemed like he could see his angels come for him, and that was a very comforting thought for me.
My heart goes out to you.I am sad to hear all of this. Ken was given 6 months to live at the end of Aug and was with us for 4 months. He went directly to hospice from the last visit at Stanford. Hospice was wonderful!!! Thank God there are people out there who love to do that. The difference with Home Care and Hospice is that hospice basically makes you comfortable and does no life lengthing care. Therefore, there is no TPN- which is Total Parenteral Nutrition- food source through an IV. They brought a hospital bed which made a world of difference in Ken’s comfort for sleeping. They have massage therapists, spiritual therapists, CNA’s to help with bathing, foot massages, etc. ( I am a nurse so I preferred to do everything myself but it is a VERY physical and emotionally taxing job. ) One thing I was thankful for is that towards the end, Ken had such a buildup of ammonia in his brain, he wasn’t feeling any pain. It was sad because he wasn’t really with us. He was able to turn his head towards me whenever myself or my daughters would enter or leave the room. The last month I was able to take off of work and be with him, I even slept in that twin hospital bed with him til the end. I am glad I did that because I was with him when he passed away.
Sorry, if I am rambling on, but I try to type through the tears.
Hi Terry, Your thoughts hit extremely close to home for me. The first thing Roger said to me after the doctor told us the news was “Well at least I’ll be here for Christmas” He seems to be going down hill so fast, I just don’t know. My heart is absolutely breaking for him, he is on so much meds that he doesn’t seem to be aware, that he has lost over 26 pounds and almost all of his muscle tone. The least little bit of exertion makes him shake so much, I can’t watch anymore because I just want to cry and he says that if I cry, than I beleive the doctors when they say that he will die.
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