August 17, 2007 at 12:01 am #16314fairydropMember
Thanks to you both for your words of encouragment. We were doing so well for so long that I really believed God had cured John.
I have no faith anymore. He has gone from happy and actually planning our future in Feb, ( he was dischargeg from hospice when they took blood and couldn’t find any cancer markers at all !!!! ) to being sick within the last 2 weeks.
The new tumors are on both lobes of his liver. We’re going to see an oncologist the 30th of August.
I know from our specialist that John was only given 18 months so he has had more time than most people do but I’m just devestated finding out God didn’t heal him.
It’s not just me but John has just been knocked for a loop. He’s gone from looking forward to the future to DEEP depression. He looks at me with this yearning look, a look that seems to say ” Help me “. It is so lonesome knowing you are going to die, No one can ever really ease that hurt, that fear.
I love John so very much….
CharleneAugust 15, 2007 at 4:13 pm #16313robynharMember
I am in the same place, Charlene. Its so painful and we cant get away from it. My husband is doing well so far, but has a huge 14 cm tumor with 2 small buddies on the left lobe. With a tumor that large, it ended cancidacy for alot of hopeful therapies. He is slowly loosing power, weight and hope. Its helpless. I have never felt such pain, but again digging deep and showing what your made of is what it takes. Enjoy each day, everyone here knows alot about what we are feeling.August 12, 2007 at 4:48 am #16312jmoneypennyMember
I can understand all the heartbreak you’re going through now, and I know words can’t make it any better. We are all here if you need to vent and just have someone to listen to you who understands what you’re going through. I lost my mother to this horrendous disease in January and it still helps me so much to come to this site. My mother was too young to die at 64, and your husband is so much younger than that – my heart bleeds for you and for your family. It sounds like he is putting up a valiant fight – it’s just so unfair that this disease takes so many wonderful people away from us.
Try to take care of yourself as well as your husband – you’re in our thoughts and prayers.
– JoyceAugust 11, 2007 at 9:35 pm #611fairydropMember
My name is Charlene, my Husband is John.
In Feb.2005 he was dx’d with Cholangiocarcinoma, aka BDC, Given 18 months to live but we had a very aggresive Dr. who put stents in, used photo dynamic therapy and enternal radiation. Those treatments have given him more time but this last week he started throwing up and his liver enzymes were completely over the top of the chart.
We went to hospital ER where they did a ultra sound and found the cancer has metastesized 3 places in his liver and to his lymph nodes.
I think the end is coming soon, he doesn’t want to hear that but I have to.
My heart is breaking. I’m losing my wonderful, loving husband. He’s only 51, way to young to die.
I don’t know what else to say. I’m at a total loss…
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