February 19, 2011 at 9:02 pm #48119nur1954Participant
Sarah – Ditto to everything said before my post. I can only tell you that I was bit like you. I had things to take care of and I did all that. Things really hit me almost a month later. And, honestly, for me…..the whole first year after John’s passing was a bit of a fog. Year 2 (which I’m about half-way through) has seemed harder. I think it really did not sink in for almost a year. This is at least my situation. Wishing you peace – NancyFebruary 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm #48118darlaParticipant
I agree with the others. Everyone’s situation is different and handle their grief in different ways and in there own time. It is a very personal thing. I don’t think it is something we every truely get over. We learn how to live and go on, but somewhere inside it is always there. Hopefully you and Hannah will draw strength from each other and find a way to work through all of this and learn how to deal with this new way of life. I have been where you are now and I know how it feels as do many others here on this site. We are all here to help each other and will be here for you too. Thinking of you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaFebruary 19, 2011 at 1:38 pm #48117roma35Member
I agree with Lainy there is no right or wrong to the grieving or loss situation. Everyone is different, and everyone handles it differently. Some fall apart and it takes a long time to pick up the pieces and some have a heavy heart, but function out of need or want. I suspect if one has children(young children) in your case, your sweet and lovely Hannah, people find the strength, atleast externally to be strong. For me it has been a process. My dad has been gone almost two years, and now some memories or thougths of him that used to bring tears to my eyes, make me smile, but sometimes I still have moments of really missing him, of tears, and I suspect that will always occur. I believe it becomes as many say on this site “our new reality”.
I am very sorry for your loss.
BarbaraFebruary 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm #48116lainyParticipant
Sarah, you are normal. You have had to do so much, I know first hand. So much paper work, the Service, taking care of home, above all Hannah. You are now doing the work of 2 after just coming off this terrible jouney. You have not had time to think. I don’t feel it sinks in to everyone at the same pace or in the same way. I never got hysterical but rather small crying times and then I would be ok again. Then again it may never hit you that way, we are all so different. It has been 2 months now, everything is taken care of but still little things can bring those tears. There is no right or wrong just take each day at a time.February 19, 2011 at 11:07 am #48115ziggydogParticipant
Thank you all for your words of support. I have a question – when does the reality of it kick in – I have definately cried and been sad but I also have been able to function and do practical things. Is this shock?
SarahFebruary 19, 2011 at 2:21 am #48114mlepp0416Participant
I am so sorry to hear of Ben’s passing. My thoughts and prayers are with both you and Hannah. Isn’t that just like a child to pick out a star for her daddy. Talking to that star is most likely comforting to her (and you!) and may help ease the pain somewhat.
Go with God….
MargaretFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:27 pm #48113ronidinkesMember
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my daughter Hannah, age 10, is the same way, she told me nana will always live in our hearts and every night she will be with the stars shining down on us…. guiding us through the darkness. Children have such a special way seeing the sunshine through the rain. Sending many hugs and tons of love. If you need anything please let me know what if anything I can do.
RoniFebruary 17, 2011 at 9:01 pm #48112nancy246Participant
I will look at the stars tonight and think of which one might be Ben. Talking to your star (Ben) will be a great comfort to you and your daughter. My heart goes out to both of you and your family and friends. I wish I could take the pain away. NancyFebruary 17, 2011 at 8:25 pm #48111hollandgMember
I sorry to hear Ben has passed on and my thoughts are with you and Hannah as you both walk this difficult journey together. Take strength from each other.
GerryFebruary 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm #48110gavinModerator
I am so very sorry to hear of Ben’s passing. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I wish there was something that I could say that would help ease the pain right now. Please keep coming back here as we are all here for you. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.
GavinFebruary 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm #48109cherbourgParticipant
I’m so sorry for you and Hannah. What a wonderful mom you must be to turn this tragedy into something so beautiful as looking at Ben’s star and talking to him with his daughter.
These next few weeks will be hard but Ben leaves a wonderful legacy behind in his beautiful bride and his loving daughter.
My heart is breaking for you but I’m sending hugs, prayers for strength and tons of love to you and Hannah.
We are here when you need us…
PamFebruary 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm #48108pamParticipant
Thoughts and prayers for you and Hannah. Ben will rest in peace now.February 17, 2011 at 1:18 pm #48107lainyParticipant
Dearest Sarah and Hannah I am so very sorry about Ben, please accept my heartfelt Sympahties. It makes me feel good that you were there with him to help him complete this Journey to Peace. I love that Hannah found a star in the sky that is her Father and Iam suresheknows he willalways beshining down on her. When someone you love becomes a Memory, the Memory becomes a treasure.February 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm #48106darlaParticipant
I am so sorry to hear that Ben has passed on. I too have been where you are now. You seem to have a great attitude and out look and I know Ben is looking down on the two of you smiling. His journey is over. He is no longer in pain or suffering and your journey is now beginning. Know that he will be with you forever in your hearts and memories. My thoughts are with you and Hannah at this sad time. I am glad you found this site, too. There are a lot of great people here willing to help and support you any way that they can. Keep coming back.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:43 am #4788ziggydogParticipant
Tuesday Feb. 15 @1:15 my husband, Ben died. It came so much quicker than I expected. He was in the hospital and I am thankful that I, along with our best friend were there with him until the end. Having to tell Hannah my 11 y.o daughter was one of the worst things I have ever done. I feel a new journey is beginning for me and her. She found a star in the sky that is her father and we have begun looking at it in the night sky and talking to him. One day at a time has turned into one minute at a time. I am so glad I found this website.
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