MY MOM

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  • September 17, 2011 at 11:45 am #52737
    nanjvd
    Spectator

    We are taking it one day at a time. She is trying to enjoy her family, She has 15 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.
    We are going this weekend to Delaware to visit my brother and his crew. Keeping busy gives her less time to think.

    Around friend she seems alittle standoffish and she is very selective on who she sees and or talks too.

    We will see a gastro md next week to see is they can put the stint in.

    I do appreciate this message board it has helped me so much. I am the care giver for mom and when I have to convey info to my sibling in their grief they want to “kill the messanger” so you have all helped me with my need to speak and understand

    off to Delware we go

    nancy

    September 17, 2011 at 3:08 am #52736
    rosehi
    Member

    To nancy –

    I think every situation is different – thankfully, although my dad’s bile duct cancer was considered terminal by the time he was diagnosed, he surprisingly had little pain – however, it was a relief to have the “comfort kit” of medication at home that was prescribed by the hospice doctor

    And mn – I am so happy that you now have palliative care for your mother – I was reading your previous posts and wondering what you had decided to do –

    My thoughts and prayers are with you – I know how hard it is

    September 15, 2011 at 11:44 pm #52735
    marions
    Moderator

    Nancy…..the good news is that the pain is under control and she is at home again. The stent will bring much relief to your Mom therefore. I am hoping for the cardiac clearance to come about quickly. Please, keep us posted.
    All my best wishes,
    Marion

    September 15, 2011 at 11:30 pm #52734
    nanjvd
    Spectator

    Mom is out of the hospital and the break thru pain is being controlled by oxi, thank god

    They say she needs a stint in her bile duct but from all the surgeons we saw when she was first diagonaised they said with the tumor she had in and around her bile duct that was an impossibilty. another issue we will have to addresss. The gastro guy wants her to have a cardiac clearance before we even meet with him.

    thank you for all the encouraging advise

    nancy

    September 15, 2011 at 10:38 pm #52733
    ronidinkes
    Member

    we had a similar experience at Sloan and now my mother who is 66, is going to LIJ/Northshore.

    She was diagnosed August 2010. Sloan gave her less than 1 year to live. She fired them. She is still alive, very little and feisty, but alive.

    My mother did not have chemo, (even thought I tried to push it) but she did radiation. She felt chemo would take away her quality of life. The radiation daily for 5 weeks was bad enough.

    You need to listen to your mom, and just respect her wishes. It may not be easy but whatever makes her comfortable and happy is the key. Sending many hugs your way.

    Hug,
    Roni

    September 15, 2011 at 6:24 pm #52732
    marions
    Moderator

    Nancy….I am not a doctor, but from what I have been told yes, pain can be a major problem. Your Mom is still in the Hospital, right? They will address the pain, make sure of it.
    Please, stay in touch.
    Hugs
    Marion

    September 15, 2011 at 2:48 pm #52731
    lainy
    Spectator

    Nancy, not that I have ever heard. When Teddy was at his last 3 months his pain was always in the same place, it just got to be more BUT honestly the pain meds took care of that. I kept him in home hospice and when I took him to their facility for his last 4 days it was his wish for me to drive him, not to go by transport and he was in no pain because of the meds. I truly believe that driving him to the Facility was harder than the day he passed, if you can understand that. As long as one has pain and as long as it may increase there are meds to take care of it. Stay strong!

    September 15, 2011 at 2:11 pm #52730
    nanjvd
    Spectator

    can anyone answer this. Withn this type of cancer, when the disease is progressing do you have a new and different pain each and every day?

    thanks
    nancy

    September 14, 2011 at 1:16 pm #52729
    mustangmort
    Spectator

    Have prayed for you and your mom, Nancy. Now, just make sure mom is as comfortable and pain free as you can make her.

    Byron

    September 14, 2011 at 9:59 am #52728
    nanjvd
    Spectator

    thank you for all the well wishes, prayers asnd encouraging words.

    i will keep you posted

    nancy

    September 14, 2011 at 12:56 am #52727
    mn
    Spectator

    I am so very sorry to hear about this Nancy…we are in the same place with my mother. Sometimes, when I am not with her I fall apart. I try to stay strong for her. But if she falls apart we cry together. Then other days, I just don’t believe it. I guess I am in denial.

    Stay strong for yourself and be able to care for yourself too.

    September 13, 2011 at 9:29 pm #52726
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Nancy,

    I am so sorry to hear this news about your mum. I too know how much this hurts as I can still remember what I felt like when I was told the same about my dad. Yes some days are indeed very hard and this is such a difficult time for you right now, but please know that we are here for you and know what you are going through. Thinking of you and your mum right now.

    Hugs,

    Gavin

    September 13, 2011 at 9:16 pm #52725
    marions
    Moderator

    I am too so very sorry to hear of the latest news. My heart is with you in this very difficult time. Know that the best of care will be given to your Mom and the precious memories made will be with you forever.
    Hugs
    Marion

    September 13, 2011 at 8:23 pm #52724
    lainy
    Spectator

    I am very sorry, Nancy. I know it’s like you have been wacked with a bat, but your survival mode will switch in to gear and the botton line is to see to it that your Mom is comfortable and then it is time to make some more happy memories. Please keep us posted.

    September 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm #52723
    nanjvd
    Spectator

    thanks for the prayers
    Just meet with Moms primary Care md and she said from the CT scan done about 2 weeks ago, Mom is at the beginning of the end. It hurts so much to even write this but before I can tell my sibling I had to “say it out loud”

    some days are so hard

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