Psychological question also

Melissa…you have already been given some great feedback, I would only like to add that “denial” is not necessarily a bad state of mind to be in. The problem is that it leaves those of us, who are able to see things clearly, feel somewhat abandoned by our loved one’s actions. It changes the dynamics of closeness, and to some extent the expression of honesty with those we expect to be on our side. I was in a similar situation with my husband’s family, as they simply could not comprehend or acknowledge that their brother, uncle, and nephew was terminally ill. I felt abandoned, but quickly realized that they had to use a protective, emotional shield in order to cope with the situation.
Fortunately I had many friends (some physicians) who stood by my side throughout.
Just wanted to share.
Hugs,
Marion

As a patient myself I can say that I went thru many stages of feelings. I found it really helpful to understand the cycle of grief that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross created. Here is a link to an explanation of that

(http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm#elisabeth_kubler-ross_five_stages_of_grief)

Scroll down the page a bit and look at the table that outlines the stages. It is a lot clearer than the text (full disclosure, I didn’t read that entire article).

One thing to keep in mind is that this is not linear…people don’t move from one stage to another in order. Sometimes you are at one stage and move back or forward depending on the information.

There is no way to ‘make’ someone else get to acceptance faster. But I do believe that getting all of the information is helpful since withheld information cannot be dealt with.

Sounds like a good counselor might help your Mom express her feelings, but it’s difficult to make someone talk to a counselor until they are ready and I think that sometimes we have to accept that that day may not come.

Hope this helps.
Hugs
-Randi-

Hi,
As a patient myself,nothing is more important than what I wanted for myself;that is including medical and emotional advice and TREATMENT.
However, the average patient must be informed about his/her illness , current condition and prognosis by a medical professional ,in this case, her GP or ONC doctor directly. this is part of the professional responsibility of the doctors . So all you need to do is talking to her doctors and make sure your mom is truly and accurately informed about her disease state and prognosis;in the way, your mom has to accept the truth and this will free you from confrontation with your mom. After that ,it is all up to the PATIENT to decide what is the best for his/her future .
God bless,

Hi Melissa, This is a tough one. My husband went through denial too. Everyone is different and reacts differently. I would say that this is her coping mechanism at this time. Maybe give it a little time and gently ask her about her feelings when you have some alone time with her. Sometimes the patient is afraid of upsetting those they love with their feelings so hold them in. My husband found a confidante in his chemo nurse and expressed some of his fears to her. Sending hugs to you and your mom. Nancy