Stopping Chemo, after only 1 treatment, the end???.
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Dear Amy,
My mother refused chemotherapy and at first I was angry and mad at her and viewed it as she had given up “hope.”In reality she lived her life on her terms and she passed on her own terms. No regrets.
I learned it was not about what I would or would not do, the 19.5 months I had with her from diagnosis to the day she passed were wonderful.
She was not sick with chemo treatments, but lived her life and enjoyed it. She said she was interested in “quantity” but “quality. I have the tremendous respect for her for sticking to her guns, and not being swayed or pressured into something she was not interested in.
I have a wonderful woman who took care of my mother and frankly I believe she kept her alive by being positive. If you need help at home let me know, this woman is willing to move.
Sending love and hugs, from one caregiver to another. Please say in touch.
Regards,
Roni
ronidinkes@yahoo.comThe book “the better end” and “broken open” are awesome, I found much comfort in them.
Lainy and Marion,
Thank you, you’ve brought tears to my eyes, but not all of sadness.
Lainy, please forward me the post you were talking about. my email is
amybergstrom@att.netMarion, my mom, thankfully has all her finances and POA and will in place already, she’s always been very organized and did this a year or so ago:)
thanks again.
AmyDear Amy…..my heart breaks for you and your Mom. You will be encountering the most precious of times and the saddest of times. As Lainy has mentioned we are here for you.
The time has come for your Mom to be given the comfort and dignity she deserves. You will need the emotional and possibly the physical support from an organization such as Hospice. Your Mom’s physician may recommend a particular Hospice organization to you however; I am also enclosing a phone number for the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.NHPCO HelpLine at 800/658-8898.
There are a few other things you and your Mom might want to discuss.
1. A will to denote how we want to dispose of our assets.
2. A Durable Power of Attorney who will carry out our wishes should your Mom be incapacitated.
3. A Living Will/Advanced Directives/Health Care Power of Attorney-a document stating her wishes medically and the designation of someone to carry them out.
But Amy, do not forget to live in the moment. Your Mom is still with you, the sun will still shine, and the days will turn into nights, the weeks into months and so on. You Mom is fortunate to have a daughter like you and you are fortunate to have the most wonderful Mom of all.
Hugs and love,
MarionDear Amy, I am so very sorry. Have you ever gone for a 2nd opinion?
Has the ONC mentioned calling in Hospice yet? They will start coming out up to a year ahead. They ave a wonderful booklet that tells you up to 3 months ahead what to expect. Do not be scared. We and the book will help get you through this. I have posted a couple of times what we went through as Teddy followed the book rather closely. If you like I can e mail you my post on it. Then again no one really knows a time frame as everyone is so different. Try to take each day at a time and enjoy all that you can with your Mom by making good Memories. Please feel free to e mail if you like. Like I said, we are all here for you.It’s only been 4 months since I first heard of bile duct cancer when my mom was diagnosed in February, and already we are being told this is the end. (By April they decided it was actually started in the Gallbladder)
Im sick. First we were hopeful for surgery, couldn’t do it, then we were hopeful for chemo at least, now after only 1 treatment last week, the oncologist said today moms biirublin is double the norm, she has loss of proteins in her blood, and her bile duct stent might be clogged again (4th time). Said liver is not processing the chemo and can do more harm then good. Also the extreme swelling she continues to have in her abdomen means the cancer is spreading rapidly.
I just can’t even believe this, my young, vibrant beautiful active mom????So I guess Im here for information on what to expect. If no more chemo, what? What happens, how does this horrible process work as I watch my mom die? I cant even believe I’m saying this, to talk to her she sounds fine, not like a women dying of cancer!! What happens? Help, Im helpless an scared.
Thank you
Amy
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