August 22, 2011 at 2:41 pm #51148missingwayneMember
It has now been 18 months since my Wayne went to see Jesus. The only one keeping me here is my daughter. I have begged for God to take me, but I assume I haven’t suffered enough. My house is getting ready to foreclose on, I work here my daughter lives 50 miles away. I have a shed in the back yard I’m thinking of moving a bed into it, it seems like at least 2 to 3 times a week something major goes wrong. I have given up everything I can but food and medicine, I guess that goes next. I am on 14 prescriptions my deductible is 280 a month, that’s without going to the doctor. I was check for cancer two weeks ago the test came back negative, so I can go on and roll on. I feel like I am nothing without him.August 17, 2011 at 12:47 am #51147darlaParticipant
I also can relate to all of you and everything that has been said. It is the same for me. It has been almost 3 years and I still miss my husband so very much. Life does go on, we will all be OK, but our lives will never be the same and there will always be a part of us that has been lost forever. Together we can help and comfort each other and help each other to heal.
Love & Hugs To All,
DarlaAugust 16, 2011 at 6:57 pm #51146marionsModerator
I so much relate to you. My husband passed away 4 1/2 years ago and not a day goes by without me yearning for him. Yes, many wonderful things have happened since his passing and many, little, holes in my heart have filled however; the biggest hole will always be empty. Indeed we are in this together and the comfort we receive from each other is irreplaceable.
Thank you all.
MarionAugust 16, 2011 at 5:40 pm #51145karenMember
I totally relate and it has been 2-1/2 years for me. I tell people all the time…be the first spouse to go (Ha, like we have a choice!) as the pain is so great. I too am not suicidal by any means, but if Rob and I could have held hands and walked into the next plane of our existance I would not have hesitated. Stay well my friends, you are not alone on this journey.
KarenAugust 15, 2011 at 1:34 pm #51144lainyMember
Hi Theresa, it does my heart good to see you! It’s been 8 months for me but I sure do know what you mean by someone is missing. I was just telling Gavin that I have no death wish at all, in fact I want to see all my Grandchildren get married, but I do tell myself that each day that passes brings me a day closer to being with Teddy again. Not sure people will understand that, but it helps me to look at it that way. Nothing creepy or maudlin it’s just the way it is. Good to know you are still checking the site. Stay well.August 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm #51143missingwayneMember
CM, I think this poem is beautiful. In a couple of days it will be 18 months since my Wayne went away. I cry deeply everyday, a am going to individual therapy and group hospice therapy. Losing one’s spouse has got to be one of hardest things a person can do. When you say losing it’s like if you look somewhere and you will find them, I guess we will when God calls us to Heaven to be with them in eternity. Until then it will always hurt.July 14, 2011 at 1:47 pm #51142lainyMember
CM, Thank-you, that is a beautiful poem!July 14, 2011 at 1:39 pm #5326cmMember
Death is nothing at all–I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost.
One brief moment, and all will be as it was before–
We will all be one together with Christ
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