darla
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Oh Pauline,
That is so lovely and a wonderful tribute to Anthony and to your life together and forever.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Pauline,
I find it very hard to go back to the places we shared and also to the hospital where Jim was treated so often and where he passed away. I think looking at photos was a much better choice. I do that often and it does bring me back to happier times. I only wish we could have had more.
I’m told I need to try new things and find different ways to find some peace & joy in my life. Different from the things Jim & I shared and enjoyed. Unfortunately, I would still be enjoying those things if he were here and find I have no interest in new and different things. So, where do we go from here? I haven’t figured that out yet. Hopefully in time this will change.I hope things are going better for you now. Are you now in Italy or still in London? Know that I am thinking of you as you reach the end of the second year without Anthony. I am right behind you. It is hard to believe that we have come so far, but in many ways I feel I am stuck back there where it all ended.
Take care Pauline. I hope you find some peace and comfort in Italy this year. Keep in touch and know that I am thinking of you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaJanet
I wish you the best of luck with your knee surgery. I will be thinking of you and hoping all is going well. I’m glad you are enjoying the choir & wine on the beach it sounds wonderful.Love & Hugs,
DarlaIt more than likely is a delaying tactic and at this point pending would mean you have a 50/50 chance of approval, however, I think you are right that the decision you made puts you in a better position. Hope it all goes well.
Darla
Margaret,
You are definately not intruding. I am glad you have joined us. Believe me, you are not alone. Several of us lost our husbands and other loved ones very quickly and yes, it is shocking. For me it is nearing 2 years and I still have a hard time believing this really happened to us. Someone suggested that it could be similar to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Not sure about that, but I do know I am not even beginning to understand or get over this and don’t think I ever will. Losing a loved one to this disease is like nothing else I can ever imagine. We all have so much in common and share so many feelings. I found this site, Pauline and the others a few days after Jim passed away and I don’t know what I would have done without all these wonderful people and all the support I have gotten. Pauline lost Anthony a month before that, so we have been in this together pretty much from then on. She really was there for me at a time when I felt no on else understood.
It helps to know others are dealing with the same issues that you are and that you are not crazy and you are not alone. Please come back any time. We are all here to help & support each other. Reading your post confirms what I have felt for some time now. We never really get over this, we just learn how to live with it and try to go on. Take care Margaret.With Love,
DarlaAnnette,
I am glad you found this site too. Everyone here really does know & understand.
Those other people have no idea of how it feels and have no right to tell you how to deal with your grief. Everyone’s situation is unique and everyone has to grieve in their own way and time. It will never be the same, but life will go on and you will be OK. It will get worse before it gets better. There will be a lot of ups & downs. Life will never be the same and you don’t have to get over it. I don’t think it ever really goes away, we just learn better how to live with it and try to go on. You were very lucky to have the kind of loving relationship you had with your Dad and that is what makes losing him even harder to cope with. As Lainy said, he is still all around you, watching over you. Please come here any time. We are all here to help & support each other.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaOh Pauline, Yes, you are so right, this time of year is very hard to deal with. I too think back to what we would have been doing now and it is hard to believe that I will never share those things with Jim again. I understand how hard it must be for you to have to go to Italy alone when you have so many great memories of your times their with Anthony. Having to see & listen to others making their plans and not being able to look forward to going or doing things we used to enjoy is so hard to face. All those wonderful memories of shared happiness that we will never have again. We can act as if we are going on with our lives, but as you said, it goes no where for us. We have every right to get off for a while. We need to be able to do that. We need to be able to relive these days, both good & bad as that is all we have now. I’ve been told I need to find new things to enjoy, but how? I enjoyed the life I had. I don’t want a new life. I want mine back. I like you have been doing my share of crying and hope that in a way it is a good thing. We need to be able to let go and let our feelings out.
Theresa, I hope you are right and that some day some how we will understand and be able to put this all in perspective and honor our loved ones in the best way we can, by living life as they would want us to. For now the pain, torment and sadness is all still too overwhelming.
Pauline, Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. I willl be thinking of you and sharing your sadness. Take care. I hope that being in Italy will somehow give you some comfort and that some day we will all be able to find some joy & happiness in life again.
Love & Hugs to All,
DarlaDear Annette,
I am so sorry for your loss and know what you are feeling. My story is similar. My husband was only 62 and died 7 weeks after his first symtoms and only a week after confirmed diagnosis. I found this site 2 days later and have been here ever since. It will be 2 years Sept. 2 and I am so grateful to this site and the wonderful people on it for all of the love, strength and support I have gotten here. I too hope you will stay with us. Contacting Dr. Giles is another good suggestion. I did early on and it helped me a lot.
As Marion said, we are all fortunate to have loved so deeply, but that is why the pain is so intense. The sadness and loss will always be there, but we learn better how to live with it day by day.
Take care of yourself now. It takes an enormous amount of energy to deal with all that has happened and to start to heal. I feel as you do, that atleast they only suffered for a short time and that pain and suffering is now over. Your Dad will always be with you in your heart and memories.
Know that I am thinking of you and share your loss. Come here whenever you need to even if it is just to vent your anger. We are all here for you and we all understand.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaBeth,
I am so sorry to hear of your husbands passing. I know there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it better, but those of us who have lost our husbands to this disease know & understand the pain and sorrow of grief that you are experiencing. Try to be comforted by knowing he is no longer suffering and in pain. Keep him alive in your heart & memories. He will always be with you. Know that I am thinking of you and your family at this sad time.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaLainy,
Thanks for the update. Sounds like you two are doing OK considering everything.
It’s hot & humid here too, but not that hot! Happy Anniversary to you both. Enjoy your weekend get away.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Andie,
Sorry I can’t answer your questions, but I am sure someone will be here shortly who can help out. This world of CC is just full of ups and downs, isn’t it? It is so hard, never knowing what to expect next. But you are so right, this site and everyone on it are so amazing & supportive. You are not alone. We are all here for you and your family to help out in any way that we can. I will be hoping for all to go well at his appointment and that you can finally get things moving on. Thinking of you & hoping for more positive things for your Dad soon.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Barbara,
Only you know what is right for you and I know you will make the right decision as to your future. There are no right or wrong answers here, only the ones the are best for you. My husband was totally healthy and active when his symptoms started, although I am sure the CC was there for a long time, unnoticed. He never had a clue. He died 7 weeks after his first symptoms. Had he known sooner & been treated would he have had a full quality life? Would he have lived beyond 62? We’ll never know, but I take comfort in the fact that he didn’t have to suffer for a long time and didn’t have to make those decisions. It was taken out of his hands. I now believe that he would have chosen quality over quantity, as he felt like you even after those few weeks. Take care Barbara and let us know how things are going for you. We are all here for you.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaJim was also on a low dose cholesteral med. Maybe that somehow triggers something???? Who knows. It is all so rare and unpredictable that it is really hard to know.
Happy Anniversary Lainy & Teddy! No matter what, togetherness is a good thing.
My husband served two tours on an aircraft carrier in Vietnam and also spent time in the Phillipines, Thailand, Taiwan, etc. He had none of the other things related to CC, so I am thinking it was the liver flukes. I have a claim in but have been denied so far and am still trying to get a connection of service relationship. As Lainy said, there are a lot of Vets of Vietnam and Korea who in later years have been diagnosised with CC.
Darla
