darla
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Hi Everyone,
It sounds like you are all doing a good job of keeping busy. I too try my best to keep going as it does help, but I do still seem to need my alone time too. Sometimes I do have to really push myself to get out & do things, but I know I just have to or everything just starts to overwhelm me again.
I have to agree with you Joyce & Pauline, I am also dreading the up coming winter. Those long nights and all the cold & snow. I have to call the guy to set up for plowing too. One can only hope we catch a break this year & it isn’t as bad as the past two years.
I go back and forth on the working thing. Some days I am glad to have the shop for something to do & others I just want it to all go away. Atleast, I can be rather flexible with myself and put in only as many hours as I want to.
Janet, I too so often want to go to Jim to tell him something or remind him of something & then realize I can’t do that any more. Nothing is the same with no one to share it all with, is it?
I have a lot of pictures around of Jim & of us together on vacations etc. and sometimes when I see his smiling face & sparkling eyes it takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. It makes it hard to believe he is no longer here.
I used to roller skate maybe 30 years ago & was actually quite good at it. I think I still have my skates somewhere. I should maybe dig them out & give it a go!
Sue, I hope things are going OK for you.
Janet, I know you are already into a new week and the rest of us are just finishing off the weekend, so I hope everyone got through the weekend OK and that we can all have a relatively good week.
Everyone take care. I think of all of you often and hope things are going well for all of you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Amy,
Try not to second guess yourself. You are a wonderful daughter and you did your best. We all do the best we know how with the circumstance we are given. No one knows why these things happen, but we have to believe there is a greater reason that we will some day understand. I too am hoping that you have family and friends to help you through these next days and don’t forget you have all of us to give you strength and support during this sad & stressful time in you life.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaJulia,
I am so sorry you all had such a frustrating, aggravating day. Any then to get such disappointing news. You have every right to be angry and to rant a bit. Coming here to vent your feelings was just the thing to do and it does help. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. As Lainy mentioned, I think I too would want to let someone know that there was a hugh lack of communication here. Hoping for better tomorrow’s for you and your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHello,
Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I don’t have any helpful information for you, but am sure some of the others will have. Sharing the good as well as the bad is beneficial to everyone. I am glad things are going along well for you and hope to hear more good news from you in the future.
You will find that the people on this site on the most helpful, caring supportive people you will ever want to know. You are in the right place.
Take Care,
DarlaLisa,
I can only add that I too am so happy to hear all the good news. I am sure things will improve daily. Take care & keep us posted.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Cyndi,
Good to hear from you. I think we are all resistant to change. We are so afraid of losing the memories of the life we had and that is all we have left of that life now. I know we can all relate to what you are going through and I guess it is “normal” under the circumstances, but it is so hard to move forward when all you really want to do is go back to the life we had before this horrible illness turned it upside down. As Joyce said, it has only been 5 months for you so everything is still so fresh. It is a lot of ups & downs and hopefully as time goes on there will be more ups and less downs.
I think that knowing that there are others going through the same things and that we are not alone will help us all get through this and give us the strength and support we need to go on. It does sound as if you are doing OK considering everything and I hope that things will continue to get better for you in the future.
Take care Cyndi and keep in touch.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Amy,
I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. You did everything you could for your Mom, including knowing when to let her go when they time came. She is now at peace and she will be with you forever in your heart and memories. Maddy is right, Grandma is in heaven, running & having fun. Out of the mouth’s of babes.
You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. Know that we are all here to help & support you through your journey of grieving.Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Janet,
Your phrase “the end of life as we knew it” so approriately describes what we all feel. Our lives have changed drastically, forever. I often thought that if I had known more about what was going on & what was going to happen it would have been easier to deal with. At first we both thought everything would eventually be OK & our lives would become normal once more. I think Jim realized how fast it was going at the end, but I still had some small amount of hope that we would atleast have a little more time together. After what you and Joyce have said, I wonder if it was better not knowing, but it has made it a lot harder to accept. For you, being a nurse and knowing what was coming had to be equally as hard.
I am sorry you are having to relive all of this. We all have and are going through it with you, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
I am thinking of you & hoping things will easy up and you will be feeling a bit better soon.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Everybody,
Just thought I’d check in. Thanks for the “vibes” Janet. We all can use them. How are things going with the vehicles & the boys?
Joyce, I don’t think there is any way to understand why we feel the way we do and what brings the thoughts & feelings on. I thought I got through the 1 year anniversary and the next few days I was doing OK. Now, the past 2 days I have been really down again and don’t know exactly why. I hope work isn’t getting to be too much for you. Is there any chance you could just cut back a little? I too am dreading the winter months. The days are already getting shorter and it won’t be long before the snow & cold are back. Hopefully this year won’t be as bad as last year. You are so right about the long lonely nights. It is just so hard. Atleast you have Flashy.
Sue, It sounds lilke you are keeping yourself busy. I’m glad your Mum is doing so good. I hope you two have a nice time in Spain. Has your business picked up any? As you said, some income is still better than none at all.
I will be thinking of both of you as you approach the one year anniversary. I too know it is all part of the grieving process that we have to go through, but it sure doesn’t make it any easier, does it?
Pauline, I hope things are going OK for you.
I think we all just need to keep making plans and try to keep busy and hopefully in time the pain & loneliness will easy some.
Everyone take care and keep in touch.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaJan,
I too am sending my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. Although this is a very hard time for you, atleast you can be comforted by the fact that he died peacefully. Your father will always be with you in your heart and memories. Take care. My thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Amy,
Lainy’s advice is what I also would say to you. I think at this point, your mother’s wishes and keeping her as comfortable & pain free as possilble is what is most important. That and spending as much quality time with her as you can. This cancer is so unpredictable and no one knows what it will do next. All you can do is the best you can do with the circumstances you are given. Then know that you have done your best. There is no right or wrong. Only what you feel in your heart. Take care Amy and know that we are all here for you to help, comfort & support you during this stress filled time.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
