darla

Dear Mary,

I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. I was glad to see your post and yes, I do know how you are feeling. Jim & I always thought we would be there for each other and now I like you will not have him here to help and support me if and when things come up. I guess I never thought I would be dealing with life alone, either. As you said, there are others who can be there for us, but it is just not the same. Unfortunately life goes on and we have to deal with it. It will be hard at first dealing with those who don’t know. All I can tell you is that it does get a little easier with time. It still hurts, it still makes me sad, but I have learned to handle it all better. I guess the one good thing about it all is having something to do and keep us busy helps. I wouldn’t do well just sitting around 24/7 feeling sorry for myself.

Someone told me this and I like to pass it on.

You’ll never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.

As time goes by you will find that is so true.

Know that I am thinking of you and share our common loss. Take care Mary. Good to hear from you.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Dear Steve,

I would tell you much the same as Lainy and Marion have. I lost my husband almost 3 1/2 years ago from this disease. He died less than 2 months after our first indication that anything was wrong. As Marion said, yes I remember that whirlwind of a time well and always will. We were married over 41 years and together almost 45. We were pretty much together 24/7 for most of our lives. Working and playing together. I still have times when I feel much as you. I try to take things as they come now, one day at a time. I am still working on finding my “new normal”. Can’t seem to work that out. I have gotten very close with another widow. I hate those words too, but we aren’t married and don’t really feel single, so I guess that is it. Her and her husband were customer’s of ours and she came in to the store about a year after Jim passed and was asking about him. I told her he had died and she started to cry. Her husband had passed only 2 months after Jim. A few days later she called and we have been close friends ever since. Her life with her husband was much the same as ours. We email a lot and help each other through the bad times as we both know how it feels. Her friendship and all the people on this site are what have really gotten me through this and I am still working on it. I still am in contact with several of the ladies I met through this site who also lost their husbands to CC. I did contact Dr. Giles early on and he told me much of what Marion said and I still have to go back and read that from time to time. It does help. Hopefully you can find someone to talk to, be it a friend or a professional person and as Marion said all of us here understand and are happy to listen. Sometimes just being able to vent and tell your feelings to others who have been there and truely know and understand does help.

Take care Steve. Take it one day at a time and come back as often as you feel the need to. You are not alone.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Oh Marion, What sad news, but thank you for letting us know. My thoughts and prayers go out to Jamie and her family at this trying time.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Terri,

Sorry to hear that Suzanne is not doing well. Lots of good thoughts and many prayers coming you way from Wisconsin.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Thanks for all the helpful info Lainy. This is just the beginning for us. I can see it progressing and it will be an up hill battle all the way.

Marion, we had to really push to get them to do a 28 day trial period. We are hoping that if they last the 28 days they will like it and stay. We started by asking nicely, then got mad and said they had to atleast give this a try. We tried to reason with them, resorted to begging, pleading and even some tears and then had to holler a little. Tough love at it’s best. If my dad refuses to stay, I think mom will end up in more of a nursing care facility. At one point I told my dad that I wouldn’t mind living there and he said “then you go!” At this point I think mom realizes she needs to be there. She has Parkinsons among other things and my dad is not capable of taking care of her at home, but he is really giving her a hard time. He does not want to be there, but if mom stays, he is not capable of being home alone either. So we are taking it one day at a time and dealing with a different situation every day.
Wish us luck, we will need it and thoughts and prayers couldn’t hurt either.

Have a good evening ladies.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

And it just keeps on going up. Awesome!

I’m doing OK Marion. My sisters and I are dealing with my 85 year old parents who can no longer live on their own and everyone but them realizes it. At the moment they are in an assisted living apartment on a trial basis. The situation changes daily. They aren’t happy and want to go home. It’s so sad to see this happening to them. I feel like first I lost my husband and now I am slowly losing them. I may have to start a web site or atleast a blog some day on all the issues involved with elderly parents.

Love & Hugs to all,
Darla

That is awesome. Thanks for sharing it with all of us. I plan to share it with others to whom it may be of some help.