fran

Richard I will be saying a prayer for you and your dad, good luck Fran

Hi Bz, sorry to hear that your dad is not doing so well. Sometimes I think it is so much harder on us the carers as we want so badly to do what is best for our loved ones and all we can do is support them best we can.
My dear husband is having no treatment as there is none offered in Australia, maybe if we had private insurance they would be trying different chemo’s on him but I have been told by so many doctors that they have not proved to be of any benefit on quality and quantity of life. I have read so many stories on this board where some people have extended their life but others have gone down hill so quickly after commencing treatment.
It is so much up to the individual that has this desease to make the choice and up to us their loved ones to support what ever they decide.
I had a very bad weekend with my husband, he is losing weight very quickly and now is only about 58Kg he was 76kg when he was diagnosed in March 07. He will not give in to this illness and still tries to carry on as normal. Saturday he was up for about 2hours doing his chores around the yard when the pain hit. He was in bed all weekend curled up in a ball, he hasn’t been able to eat much apart from a bit of porridge when he gets up. I put a morphine patch on which took about 12 hours to kick in. Thankfully he is not in pain now but very tired and quite weak. Last week he took a morphine capsule 20mg and it shut down his bladder and bowel for 36 hours, thankfully the 12.5 mg patch hasn’t done that. I am now trying to find out what food supplements are availiable as a drink as eating solids is out of the question, the pain suffered after is too bad.
I have almost felt shellshocked this week at the speed this nasty cancer has hit my husband in the last 2 weeks. I am sure he feels the same, he goes to do something that he had no trouble with a couple of weeks ago and now he hasn’t got the strength, it breaks my heart to watch him fade away before my eyes.
I really hope that your dad improves, as I have found that my husband has bounced back so many times whilst battling CC, sorry for going on but I just feel that you are going through similar emotions to what I am experiencing and it helps to have this forum to share our feelings and experiences.
Forgive the spelling errors, Fran Australia

Dear Lisa Ann, thankyou for your suggestions, we are going to our GP today who is really trying to help Colin with this horrible disease, so will ask to try those meds, thanks Fran

Dear Jules, I am very new to this sight and still not very sure how to use it.
I have just started the journey you are on. My husband was diagnosed March 2007 with a Klatskin tumor and I am treasuring every moment we have.
My heart goes out to you at this sad time and I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain but venting is the only way to get through this and what a wonderful site this is for allowing us to do that.
I can only tell you how I coped when I loss my mother suddenly in 1994, she lived with us in Australia and was holidaying in the UK when she fell ill with flu and died within days. I can still feel the pain from losing her, she was such a wonderful person and so full of love. I felt all the emotions you are feeling especially anger which I took out on my dad as he was the one that wanted to do that one last trip to the UK. I so regret that anger now and realise that it was just grief creating that pain and anger.
My one savior was meditation and I used to spend 30 Minutes every morning talking to my mum and crying until I got to the stage where I could feel her energy and I found if I was in the garden tending to her flowers i could feel her wonderful energy in my hands, the love that I felt then and still to this day when tending her flowers is what got me through.
I hope this will be of some help in understanding what you are feeling, I will send you love and healing in my meditation everyday, love Fran x

Dear Bz, my husband has a klatskin tumor starting in the gall bladder going into both bile ducts and both sides of the liver. In Australia no treatment is offered as it has not proven to extend life. It seems very different in the US I find it hard to believe how many different treatments are offered.
My husband can be so well one day and just by over doing it of eating the wrong thing he will end up in bed with bloating pain high fevers for a couple of days and then the pendulem swings the other way and he is back in the garden working and living a normal life. It is all about finding a balance, my husband has an amazing outlook and doesn’t ever think of himself as being sick, I think it is harder on me as the carer watching him fade away, he has lost 16kg since Jan 07 and though he staberlized after having 2 stents put in in March he seems to be losing weight at about 2kg every couple of weeks or so. I find Bowen therapy helps a lot with his bloating as I am a bowen therapist. I do the reflux moves that are used on babies and find that helps on accasion if you know of a Bowen therapist over there.
Hope this helps you, Fran