frances
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Thanks Susan and Marion for your help. Nurse comes in again on Thursday, will have a good talk to her. The hospice Doctor wasn’t too knowledgeable on this part of things. We all keep learning ! Bless you both and have a good New Year.
Warm wishes FrancesLainey, you are so lucky to have loved and been loved and that love will continue. God bless you. So many people will be thinking about you both on the 17th.
Frances
Lainey, Words cannot say what I feel for you and your family. You have given so much not only to Teddy but to everyone that has contacted you on line. Now it is our, turn all our thought and prayer are with you and yours.
God bless
Frances
Lainey, compared to so many people on this site I have known you for such a short time, but I do know you have given Teddy all you can. I hope I can give the same to my Mother in the time that she has left. Bless you and I will sure think of you every day.
Big hugs Frances
Lainy,
So sorry to hear you and Teddy are going through a tough time, and I wish so much that I could help as you make so many peoples life easier with your knowledge. I really hope someone will be able to help.
Thinking of you both FrancesThanks Lainy, Can always rely on you to reply. Thanks for that, you have confirmed what I already thought as I don’t think she could even stand the trip to the hospital. I know that pain or the lack of it is the main thing…..but is that possible to the end ??
I hope Teddy’s new bed is still being a help to you both. Not sure but Thanks giving is only a couple of weeks away for you. I hope you all have a great day. Bless you and Teddy, and treasure the time you have.Hi Lainy,
As you know I have been on this site for such a short time. I do know however you are always able to help other people so much with your knowledge and warmth. Like everyone else my thoughts are with you. Like so many have already said the pain can be so different (I’m learning). My Mom’s pain is on the right side just under breast and also in the back on the right side of the spine. I did get a memory foam thin mattress for the top of my Mom’s bed and this has helped her so much. She said it is like being on a cloud, and that’s how I want to think of her.It’s our turn to send you many many hugs, we are all with you.
Frances
Hi Janet,
My Mother was also past surgical intervention one year ago when they said she only had months, she is still with us. OK she is not too good right now but she is also 88 so percentage of symptems may be due to that fact. But don’t loose hope she may be with you for a long time yet. Thinking of you
Warm regards FrancesHello Lainy,
Thank you so much for taking the time to send your most welcome message. So sorry to hear that Teddy is also having a tough time. To watch a loved one suffer is so hard but I am sure that for them to know that they are loved in such a time must be a help. I completely understand what you say when you say your bottom line is to keep him comfortable I’m sure we can all fit in that basket. My Mother is not in any pain and is only on a morphine patch which is changed once per week. I am sure worse is to come, but we all take it one day at a time (how many times have you said that to yourself) Yes the tiredness is a big part of the whole process isn’t it. Guess we have to think that with sleep comes peace, that is what I try to think anyway. Happy Birthday Teddy for yesterday wish it could have been better for you. So nice to think he still thinks of you as his bride at such a difficult time, bless him. Stay in touch please and let me know how things go for you. Will think of you every day.
Warm regards
FrancesLainy wrote:Hello Frances! We are so sorry to hear about your Mother and it sounds like she is about where my Husband, Teddy is with Hospice. They come in twice a week and take his vitals and order anything we need. He is on 75mg of Morphine twice a day and can take break through Morphine when needed in 10 – 15 mg doses. The bottom line to me is to keep him comfortable. I plan on keeping him home to the end unless I cannot handle it. We shall see when the time comes. At first Hospice thought he had until the first week in October and he is here and ready to celebrate his 78th Birthday Wednesday. His only symptom beside the pain is the tiredness. He sleeps a lot. I notice now his speech is not so good and some times its hard to understand him. He gets confused a little now but guess I would if I was on Morphine. Its quite a journey and your Mother is very lucky to have you by her side. I hope you can make many endearing new memories with her, that is the road we have taken. Teddy tells everyone we are on our honeymoon! Please keep us posted on how Mother is doing.Hello Kimmie,
Thanks for your much welcomed message. Just a kind word from someone that really knows what you are going through somehow is such a comfort. Yes I am the only one to care for my Mother I have no siblings. Such a rollercoaster (as you know). The big thing that is helping me right now is that the pain is under control, even though watching her sleep for so long being so frail isn’t great, at least when she is asleep I know she isn’t feeling anything. Mom is 88 we all know that is a good age for anyone but it isn’t making it any easier, she has been a wonderful Mother and I am lucky to have had her for so long. There is a saying “If Mothers were flowers I would pick you”. If we could all say that the world would be a better place.
Again thanks Kimmie for your message I will stay in touch.
Warm regards
FrancesGavin wrote:Hi Frances,Welcome to the site. I am sorry that you had to find us and I am sorry to hear about your mother. I can so relate to what you are going through right now as a year ago I was where you are now with my dad. He was diagnosed back in 2008 so I know the journey you have been on and what it involves. I am glad that you have joined us all here as you will get a load of support and help from us all.
My dad had a lot of the same symptoms and issues that your mum is experiencing right now, and he suffered a lot from fatigue and used to nap during the day a lot. He also had the reflux and nausea quite badly and tried a variety of types and amounts of medication for this, some with greater success than others. Does your mum take anything for her nausea, as there are quite a range of meds that can help with this. My dad also had pain in the same areas as your mother to varying degrees and he used to take Solpadols for this 4 times a day and that seemed to work for him. However his pain did increase a bit once he went into hospice, but again that was greatly controled with meds and pain shots when needed.
Marion makes an excellent point about caring and having a strong care team around you. Is it just you caring for your mother or do you have other help, and have you spoken with hospice yet? I know that in my case, it was just me that was caring for both my mum and my dad and it is tough. My dad wanted to stay home as long as he could but thought much about how that would affect my mum. But he was admitted to hospice for his nausea issues and once there, he said that he felt more comfortable and secure. I guess that it is down to each individual and their families as to what is best for them.
As to your question regarding whether or not you will be able to keep your mother at home to the end, I can not answer that as everyones experiences are different. And I agree with Marion’s point about keeping your options open and see how things progress. As to my dads care in hospice, I have nothing but good things to say about the care that he experienced there and nothing was too much trouble for the nurses and doctors.
I know that this is such a tough time, but please know that we are here for you so please come back as much as you want.
My best wishes to you and your mother,
Gavin
Hi Gavin,
Thank you for your helpful message.I am in Australia and we have what are called Siliver chain (bless them) they are paliative care and call around to the home at the moment once per week but of course this will change as circumstances change. I am an only child so apart from friends there is no one to “bounce” things off. Mom has the choice to go into into hospice at any time, but I know should would rather stay in her own home. Who knows maybe this will change as time goes on. This week so far seems to be a “sleep” week, so little energy. Pain hasn’t been a great problem the morphine patches are doing wonders as far as that is concerned.
I realise after receiving both yours and Marion’s messages, I do have to take things day by day and not look too much into tomorrow.
Thanks Gavin for all your help, I will stay in touch.
Regards Frances
marions wrote:Hello Frances and welcome to our site. I believe that people should leave their options open when caring for a loved one. Do you have hospice available to yo? I don’t belive that you should attempt to care for your Mom without a strong medical support team. In fact, someone used the phrase on this board: prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
I am hoping for others to chime in and help you out.
Best wishes,
MarionHello Marion,
Thanks for taking the time to post your message. I do have a paliative care team of nurses (I’m in Australia, we call them Silver chair) they are on 24 hour call for me if and when ever needed. At this stage they only call in to monitor Mom once per week. When necessary this will be changed. Mom’s biggest problem right now is fatigue so she sleeps a great deal of the time. Pain is under control with pain patches. I am taking it day by day right now, but will keep you up to date as to how I go.
Regards Frances
