iowagirl

Matt….you’re looking wonderful. Will be watching for the CA 19-9 results and hoping all continues to be great.

Julie T.

Brigitte,

What you are feeling is all very normal, but the situation is anything but normal, isn’t it? If there is anything worse than the diagnosis of cancer (any kind) ….then it’s the diagnosis that it has come back. I’ve experienced both. After I got over the initial rush of what the recurrence would mean, and called all the close friends and relatives with the news, it seemed that I settled down some again and felt that the worst (in my eyes at the time) had happened and that was now over and done with.

I can definitely say that I think about CC every day…..but, it isn’t overwhelming me right now. Of course, ask me again about the first week of April how I feel…in advance of my April 14th scans, the first since my 2nd resection in Dec 2015, and it may be another story. I think scanxiety is going to be hard for me no matter how long I might go again before another recurrence.

During chemo in 2014, I did talk with a professional therapist for a number of sessions. Oddly enough, we spent most of the time talking instead about my relationship with my mother. Go figure that one. Still, it seemed to help, knowing that someone was listening to me….even if we had strayed from the CC subject. Did I “lose it” during those sessions? You betcha I did. We did talk about the CC….relationships with friends and other relative…ESP som of the stupid things people say to you and people who you thought were friends, but who dumped you as soon as they heard the cancer diagnosis. The tears flowed the entire session sometimes. That’s just human.

Yes, a lot of get tired mentally….and we do push onward. But, sometimes, it seems necessary to have that brief pity party of one for yourself…..and after that….the inner strength comes back.

I did use the anti-anxiety drugs during chemo…..which were prescribed because they also help with the nausea of some of the chemos. Once chemo was over, my mood did lift considerably, though I imagine I was still pretty down and depressed sometimes. It always seemed to come in spurts or in the weeks before the next scan.

Tears:…..They are a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long and need help and a hug or two. So, here you go <<<<<<<<. X >>>>>>>>>>>>. ……one big, collective hug from us here on the boards.

Please know, you are not alone in how you feel and we understand here.

Julie T.

Wow…..this is remarkable. It said less than half a millimeter. The MRI can do half a centimeter ….but this would absolutely be a great advantage to patients to watch for recurrences of cancer ….and so many more applications. Thanks for sharing this, Marion.

Julie T.

Nancy…you have my deepest sympathy with the loss of your dear Ron. Along with Pat, and I’m sure many others, including myself on these boards, Ron’s passing will come as a deep shock. While 8 and a half years is a long time with this cancer, it is never long enough when we’d rather keep our loved ones with us. My prayers are with you now. Julie T.

Donna,

I just posted this to someone else, but it bears repeating here. I agree with Karen and Marion. Chemo can cause your hemoglobin to drop very low. At one point, about round 5, mine dropped so low that if I tried to walk 10-15 feet, I was gasping for air and my chest hurt. I called my onc and they said the best would be to go to the ER, where they checked for a blood clot and did blood labs . My hemoglobin was at 7. They gave me two units of blood and within a couple days, I started feeling much better. I was still very tired because it only brought the hemoglobin up to 9, but at least I didn’t have any more gasping for air. The next round of chemo knocked the number back down some again, but not as bad as when it was at 7. Your problems well could be a low hemoglobin and you should see if your onc would do a check on your hemoglobin at the very least. Fatigue is one thing, but shortness of breath to the extent you are having it is quite another. I’d go back and sit on their doorstep until they figured out

Brigitte,

I was on adjuvant chemo of Gem/Cis. The second round, I had two days of feeling nauseated off and on but no vomiting. In the rounds after that, I had an occasional afternoon or evening where the nausea hit….no vomiting….just nausea. But, every morning, like clockwork,, when I was either IN the shower or just out 5 min, I would dry heave for about 3-5 minutes and then it was over. I never did dry heave any other time of the day I remember. (2014)

Something you might do for nausea is get a Queeze Eze (sp) at the drug store. Our Walgreens had it in the travel area along with the sea sickness remedies. It is a small lipstick size tube that you take the cap off of, and put it up to your nose (not IN your nose) and inhale the vapor/smell….I think it may be ginger). I used it a lot when I would have the occasional nausea in the afternoons or evenings. Ginger also in the form of ginger ale drink also helped some….particularly if it was more warmish/room temp. There is ginger tea, but while I bought some, I never used it.

The chemo drugs actually build up in your body. The “worst” of it does taper off after 5-7 days or so, but each chemo session will build up the chemo more in your body, making side effects potentially worse. My dry heaving was every day after round 3, but it never was more than those few minutes early in the day. My oncologist used a bag of steroids via IV before giving me the chemo which stopped the majority of vomiting that might have otherwise occurred.

There are some pills that your doctor can prescribe that are a mild depressant that can also quell those feelings of nausea right away. I used them some days when the nausea was at its worst in the middle of the day and it settled it right down. As a nice extra effect, the pills also help with anxiety, and going through what we do with chemo and having CC, that was a really good side effect to have.

Hope that helps some.

Julie T.

Dearest Lise,

I sounds like during your daughter’s illness, you did what you had to do to get through everything while being your daughter’s caregiver, but also being “mom”. The shock that you felt at her diagnosis is something that all of have felt and we “get it” here. The crying, sleeplessness, etc, is also something that many here have gone through upon the passing of their loved ones and it can go one for a short time or a long time. There is no time limit on grieving. Sometimes your friends or other family will want you to “move on”, and you just can’t do that yet. At that point, I would suggest seeing if there is a grief support group in your area where others are dealing with similar feelings. I’m so glad to hear that you have enlisted the aide of a counsellor and anti-depressant/anxiety drugs to help you through the roughest of times. What I can tell you, having lost my father from cancer and a baby of my own, you will find your way through the grief, But, you also need to understand that the grief never goes away. With the passage of time, it isn’t in the forefront of every day as it is now though and life will get better. Right now, I’m sure you have frequent flashbacks to times during your daughter’s illness , your tears flow freely, and it seems the pain will never lessen. I’m here to tell you that it will be better, but right now, get through one day at a time and anytime you feel like posting here, know that we’ll understand.

A CC patient/survivor
Julie T.