jeffg

My personality has changed so much. I look at just about everything differently. As much as I push and try to remain positive I sense a little withdrawal from interaction with my family. We have discussed my feelings and have had great support from my family but I still have to keep realing back the closeness and family love that I want. Another part of me wants to stay low key and isolate and wierdly put distance between me and my family so as to maybe make it easier when they day comes. It is so mentally challenging to plan vacations or other events, especially long term plans as I don’t know what the future holds. My changes seem to have begun after diagnosis so very slowly. Then when the decision to begin chemo things were really a rollercoaster. I have had to pull myself up out of the darkness so many times. It’s like one of those television commercials for depression,(it hurts). It’s like a cycle of emotions low then high. I’ve read a lot about this subject and it is considered normal but does take a toll on your loved ones as they are hesitant on how to respond from one day to the next. Now that I’m seasoned, it is getting to be easier as I’ll now say lets make plans, lets go do this or that but I do so openly with the understanding that if my health declines to the point that I’m unable to follow through we’ll just have to reschedule or whatever. I guess you would call this a form of adaptation. Like I’ll stay at the hotel and nap while they go to the pool or maybe I’ll be the first one in. It’s an arkward way of living but it’s living and enjoyment just simply watching the ones I love have fun. Even if PaPa can’t do the big ole cannon ball splash anymore it is fun . Hope, faith, and love will see me through to remission or in to God’s eternal peace. So each day I’ll try my hardest to be happy and continue living with my family! There is a reason for all of life’s events irregardless of which direction the road will go. Smile be happy to the most extent possible is my mind set now-a days.
God Bless to All!
Jeff G.

Alice, It sure sounds like side effect of oxaliplatin. Very harsh drug I went only 3 rounds and stopped because of pain and and started noticing a slight bloody stool and tinge of blood from a couple vomits. The nausea from the drug causing the vomiting can’t in itself rupture varices. I would recommend some immodium to stop diareaha and nuasea med to stop the vomiting. I know for fact went my varacies popped around my rib the bleeding was very painful. I only went to change gears automatic when it happened to me. If he continues to see blood I would not hesitate to visit the ER. Usually the varacies will stop bleeding. Did they due mri or ct to ruled out any possible mets to another location? I pray things calm down and John can get some rest. I really wish I could give you something concrete. MRI discover wear my bleeding/popped varacies happened.
God Bless,
Jeff G.

Carol,
I used solarcaine sunburn spray or Gel. gave me relief enough to get to sleep. I also remember someone soaking in a warm water tub with baking soda. Also warm steamy shower using a soft body brush opens up those skin pores and rinses them out. I personally have the steamy shower first and then apply the solarcaine what a relief. I don’t have itching that often depends on what I eat that get my liver pumping and also cutting back a little on pain meds helps me. Also I find that if I feel like my colon is a little to full, a fleet enama (Insert and Squeeze type) gives me almost instant relief. I don’t do this very often but with pain meds slowing down bowel movements a lot of the time you don’t poop as much as you should even if going on a regular every other day or so. That slow backup allows time for absorbtion in my opinion. Sorry didn’t mean to get so gross with my suggestions. More water drinking helps. There that cleaned it up a little.
Bluntly Yours!
Jeff G.

Peter, Thanks for reminding me. I need to get a swim suit. Donated my other ones as they were to big. Actually, When I read your post I was thinking about you mimmicking a porcipine(sp) in vermont. Ha!
Jeff

Hi Kristin, Just wanted to say good for you! I love your positive attitude. I could’nt agree with you more about being centered and taking the whole person approach. I do admit I have not tried acupuncture I guess because I get stuck so much already Ha! Certainly sounds worth trying if your getting that kind of relief. Kristin, I’m glad things are remaining stable. Keep up the great work!
Bless Ya!
Jeff G.

Jules … Nice to hear from you. That link/article was extremely interesting to read. I agree with you, there is hope on the horizon. I will certainly keep a close watch on this one. Thanks for posting it, as hope gives many the energy and mind set to keep on trying.
Bless You!
Jeff G.

Chrissy, So sorry to hear of chuck’s episode of pain. I’t’s easy for me to say but let’s get the results of the stool sample. Believe me the flu and pneumonia is going around this year really bad. Our hospitals in Kansas ran out of bed space at one point a few weeks ago due to the severity of the flu virus. I myself thought the worse a few weeks ago. I ended up in the ER as well and instead of cancer complications, I had walking pneumonia in one of my lungs. In fact I just had x-ray today and will find out if it has completely cleared up tomorrow when I have my follow-up with Oncologist. I really hope they determine what’s up real soon. I pray it’s just an infection that can be cleared up. The fact he had the runs ,etc. leeds me to believe his bile system is working and you said he appeared to have no juandice which is a good sign in my book as well. Big hug and prayers chrissy.
God Bless,
Jeff G.