jmgrisolia

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 113 total)
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  • in reply to: The end #62078
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    I just wanted to thank everyone here, all this lovely people that have helped me during this battle, bringing me hope and kind words, giving me information and support everytime I needed. I would like to thank specially the moderators always ready for reply my posts and help me with any question. I think there are many good people here and I’d like to support this community as well. I would like to write a post with some conclusions in the future, after a time for getting over this terrible tragedy. I think the only consolation for me is that, certainly, she is not suffering. We have lost her and we miss her a lot but I am keeping her in my heart for ever. Thank again my dear friends you are doing a great job here.

    Hugs
    Jose

    in reply to: The end #62069
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    I cant stop crying. Thank you all for these words.

    in reply to: The end #62064
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    SENSITIVE

    My sister passed away on June 13, at 13.13. She was totally unconscious and, according to doctors she did not suffer. Most of us were holding her hands around her in the hospital, giving her love and sweet words.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61651
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    thank you. Im crying

    in reply to: Paranoia #61649
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    She recives now midezolem iv 100 ml/h. Unconcious.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61645
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Sensitive

    We have had many doctors so far. Now we are in a small clinic for palliative care in the North of Spain. I am flying tomorrow so I will assess the situation. I think she is taking haloperidol and other drugs that I mentionted before, IV.

    The point here, the terrible truth here is that tumors have not grown beyond the limits of the last CAT. Comparing CAT of last two weeks and CAT that we had before there is no progress of tumors. Neither there are track of encephalopaties, etc. However her lungs are suffering. She has pleural effusion. We suspect that her neurological problems, anxiety, suffering and hypoxia and even her pleural effusion are the result of the cocktail of drugs that she has been taken during these six months. We suspect that is not cancer which is killing her but the horrible palliative treatment.

    Hugs
    Jose

    in reply to: Paranoia #61643
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Yes, all of them. And palliative doctors insisted to provide high dosage no matter what we say, no matter what MC wants. Their role is clear: kill the patient.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61641
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    We have checked ammonia levels in Carmen and these are only slightly over the normal. There is not encephalopaties and her brain is cleaned of tumors. Therefore we believe that the high dosages of anti-anxiety medication are killing her, are destroying her and producing opposite results. My sister insisted yesterday to stand up despite the high levels of morphine, diazepam, etc in blood. I think everything is doing wrongly here. We agree with a painless treatment but we think the anxiety treatment is misslead.

    My brother in law now thinks that their anti-cancer treatment (aside from chemo) is the cause for this situation. This cocktail of drugs would kill even the most healthy person.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61638
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    SENSITIVE

    Thanks to everybody. I feel strange, uneasy, guilty, devastated, etc. And she cries. She cries. She knows and she is scared. It’s horrible.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61635
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Sensitive

    I don’t know if they have checked ammonia levels. I have to ask. I will pass this information. She had a severe anguish attack yesterday. Doctor said that there is not a proper treatment to prevent anguish for death. How can a person accepts his own death?. This severe attack of agitation and aguish makes doctors to provide a higher dosage of sedative to her so she finally fell slept deeply sleeping. We fear that this was a sort of involuntary euthanasia (her will is to live at all cost) and we asked doctors to reduce this dosage. Fortunately she woke up, went to toilet, etc. but I am afraid she went through a stage of semi unconsciousness and her breath, during sleeping was really really worrying, like stopping sleeping and then a sudden breath out. OMG. This is horrible. It looks like she is approaching to the end and I am abroad now. I am arriving on Sunday night.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61633
    jmgrisolia
    Member
    Cherbourg wrote:
    Jose,

    Diazapam was the drug my mother couldn’t handle. Please ask if by chance there is something else.

    Mom was seeing things, insisting my sister had been in a horrible car accident and was totally unable to sleep or be calm. I finally had to throw a fit, demand a pharmacist, the heart doctor, and the cancer specialists sit down and talk to our family and each other. I pointed out the problems started with the drug. I’m in the medical field so I had no problem throwing my fit. They changed her meds and it was amazing to see her return back to herself.

    It’s worth a shot.

    Pam

    Pam, could you please tell me which drug did she take instead of Diapezam?
    Thank you to everybody that is supporting me and to all these kind words
    Hugs
    Jose

    in reply to: Paranoia #61628
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Sensitive

    Thank you to everyone who is supporting me. Doctors mentioned this amonia levels but I ignore what is the procedure to check it out and how to treat it. They insist to provide IV diazepam and alprazolam and the result is that she can barely talk and she cannot sleep during nights keeping her agitation and akathisia. That is: doctors insist with a line of treatment that is not working with her ignoring the real conditions of the patient and her confort. She is in pain, despite of whatever dosage of morphine, she is crying and full of angusih despite alprazolam and all these useless drugs, she cannot sleep despite diapezam. It seems that they have learnt an ABC of treatment and they apply these standards to everyone.

    This is hell for her. There is no peace, there is pain, anguish, fear, crying and horror. She confuses my sister with another sister, her daugther with another one. With a high dosage of IV diapzepam she sleeps for 30 minutes and awakes. Really really bad doctors, unable to pay attention to her neurological problems and provide a proper treatment.

    Besides, life expectancy differs in a incredible wide range. Doctor A says months, doctor B says from 4 days to 15.
    Hugs
    Jose

    in reply to: Paranoia #61624
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Sensitive

    She is in a hospice now. Suffering. She only sleeps for half an hour in the nights and get good sleep in the mornings. During night she confuses my sister with another sister. This is horrible.

    in reply to: Paranoia #61623
    jmgrisolia
    Member

    Thank you Julia. I understand everything. I know there are no rules and the issue of “sensitive” is logic (or logical?). Things are getting really really bad. Now the question is hospice or home?

    xx
    Jose

    in reply to: Paranoia #61619
    jmgrisolia
    Member
    Gavin wrote:
    Jose,

    Julia and others may put the word “sensitive” in front of a post or thread that they reply to or start for the simple reason that they feel that it contains sensitive information. This could be information of a sensitive nature that some people may not wish to read or hear about, such as details about the passing of a loved one, what they went through and information that some people may not want to know about. By putting “Sensitive” in the thread/post header, then the reader has the choice whether or not they want to read the post knowing that it contains sensitive information that may offend or hurt them by reading it. Some people want to know certain information or read about experiences and some people don’t want to. By putting Sensitive in posts or threads then the reader can make the choice whether he/she wants to read that post/thread or not. I hope that helps.

    My best wishes to you,

    Gavin

    I understand. I thought about this issue before when I was writing about this sensitive matter of end of life. When I read it, this comes to my mind and I just want to confirm it. I did not cumply this rule before since I ignored it but I will consider it now.
    All the best
    Jose

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 113 total)